


Instinct

by JWade



Series: Asgard [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:32:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 47
Words: 80,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8188058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JWade/pseuds/JWade
Summary: Sam does his best to ignore the pull he feels towards the janitor at Crawford Hall; right up until he's holding a stake to his chest anyway.





	1. Chapter 1

Gabriel sat there mopping the floor, well pretending to anyway, as he waited for his marks to show. He didn’t know how people managed to do such menial jobs without killing themselves. Of course, he didn’t know how humans managed to live at all without doing so given the brief taste he’d gotten the one time he ran his powers out. He’d only had to live like that for two weeks and it wasn’t something he wanted to try again. As it was he had made the precise calculations for six whole new dimensions in his head just to stave off the boredom before they finally showed up. 

Gabriel glanced up at the two men walking towards him and his eyes immediately lit on the taller one and his breath caught. Fuck. This was so not part of the plan. His father really did have a sick sense of humor sometimes. He couldn’t help but match the younger vessel’s bright smile as they asked him to let them into the dead professor’s office. He bantered back and forth, and maybe even flirted just a little bit, while they not so stealthily looked for ghosts and pumped him for information. When they left he sighed heavily and thunked his head back into the wall as he slid down it to sit unceremoniously on the floor. How was he going to get out of this one intact?

 

After the fourth time that Sam glanced back towards the building as they were leaving, Dean rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you just go on then?” he asked tiredly. 

“Huh?” Sam asked focusing on his brother for the first time since they’d laid eyes on the short janitor. 

“You’ve obviously got a thing for the guy and this job is a bust. Go get some before we blow town,” Dean urged. 

“Nah,” Sam shook his head. 

“Dude, seriously. You can’t just be a monk forever,” Dean said impatiently. He saw what his brother was doing to himself. Ever since his girlfriend had died a couple years ago, he was afraid of getting close to anyone and it was wearing on the younger hunter. Dean could tell. 

“It’s not that,” Sam shook his head. At his brother’s skeptical look he sighed. “He’s just…the kind of guy it might kill me to leave behind after. No point setting myself up for that.”

Dean refrained from commenting. It looked like Sam really had it bad this time. He was all for picking on his brother and he knew he crossed the line sometimes, but even he realized the line here. He wasn’t going to mock his brother. Not this time. He would let it go. 

A lot of good that did him as they were embroiled in an argument almost as soon as they got back to the motel. If he were being honest with himself, he would admit that Sam had good reason to suspect him of freezing his computer. It wouldn’t have been the first time and it was on one of his favorite sites, but for once, it wasn’t him. He was at a loss as to how it could have happened, but Sam was just far too stubborn to listen and stormed out. Dean knew that a lot of that was his frustration about earlier though. Sam had gotten over a lot of his aversion to the life in the time they’d been on the road, but occasionally, usually when someone he could actually fall for happened across their paths, he was a little tetchy for a while. 

 

Gabriel headed out to take a walk around town and try to clear his head, and hopefully come up with some way he could get out of this mess with both his life and his heart in one piece. He paid no attention to where he was walking, which he really should have known better than given who else was in this god-forsaken town. That wouldn’t dawn on him though until he was nearly bowled over as he rounded a corner. “Easy there big guy,” he drawled as he grabbed strong arms reaching to steady him, only to look up and see the person who had him in such turmoil in the first place. While he wasn’t paying attention his instincts had led him directly to Sam. Or maybe Sam’s had led to him. He wasn’t sure and it didn’t matter either way. All that mattered is that they were both there. 

Gabriel didn’t even realize they had locked eyes with each other until Sam cleared his throat and looked pointedly away with a quiet, “Sorry about that.”

Gabriel couldn’t control the words spilling from his mouth as he said, “No worries kiddo. You look like you could use a drink.” He led the hunter to the bar that he had just passed and before long they were both sitting at a table wondering how the hell they had gotten here. 

Sam blinked as he tried to figure out why he was doing this. It wasn’t as if someone else had taken control of his body, or even that he didn’t have control. It was more like he wanted it too badly to resist, even though he knew he should, so he just let it happen. He had no idea the same had happened to the man sitting across from him with a lopsided smile, looking for all the world like he had planned this all along. 

Gabriel waited for Sam to speak, not letting on how caught off guard and vulnerable he was at the moment. He wasn’t a trickster for nothing. No one ever saw what he didn’t want them to, even if he did suddenly have crazy urges that drove all common sense from his brain. “So what’s got you all tied up in knots kid, if you don’t mind me asking,” he finally said, seeing that Sam wasn’t really inclined to speak. 

Sam just shrugged. “Nothing really. Just my brother being annoying is all.” Since he was here the last thing he wanted to talk about was Dean. “Name’s Sam by the way.”

“Lo,” Gabriel said giving a shortened version of his usual name. 

“Low? As in high and low?” Sam asked almost amused. He hadn’t heard that one before. 

Gabriel couldn’t help but laugh. Luckily he got that often enough that he had a ready comeback. “No. As in L-O. I shortened it. Do I really look like a Logan to you?” 

Sam laughed too as he shook his head. He would have pictured the man in front of him with a far more majestic and meaningful name than Logan. He supposed unique would have to do. “Nice to meet you, Lo,” he said warmly. 

“Likewise, Samsquatch,” he said with a mischievous grin. 

Sam nearly shot his drink out of his nose at that. That was a new one. And rather inventive. “Samsquatch?” he asked coughing. 

Gabriel could tell he was more amused than anything else and nearly preened. No matter who it was, he always took pride in his ability to amuse. “Well you are a giant,” he said with a cheerful shrug, wondering if the young hunter would take the bait. Sam grinned and opened his mouth to say something, but then cut himself off. Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “What? Nothing? Come on Sammich. Don’t hold back on me.”

The second stupid nickname was enough for Sam as he laughed and said, “whatever you say, hobbit.”

“Oh! Sammykins! You wound me,” he said dramatically holding his chest. 

Sam had been hesitant to go there because he knew how sensitive people could be about being short, but seeing how much the other man was enjoying himself he couldn’t help but laugh again. This was just what he needed, and he was able to forget the fact that it was going to come back and bite him in the ass later on. He was smart enough to limit himself to only a couple drinks as they spent the evening talking and laughing and managed to head back to his motel without getting in any deeper, but in a much better mood. 

Gabriel watched Sam walk away with a sigh. At least he had managed not to make things much worse. He had known that they would fit together like a glove. They were made that way after all. He just hadn’t expected it to be so effortless. It had taken a bit of willpower, but he had managed to keep from inviting Sam back to his place. Hell, he hadn’t even gone for a kiss or brushed against the hunter’s hand. That was about the best he could expect from himself in this situation.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam was woken up the next morning by a pillow to the face. “Oh, come on Dean. Do we have to leave right this second?” he asked testily. He had been so wired when he got back last night that he hadn’t gotten to sleep until early morning. He wasn’t quite as comfortable with the four hours a night as Dean was. He could do it in a pinch, but he much preferred sleeping in when he had the option. 

“Sorry Sammy. Got a lead to check out,” Dean said cheerfully. 

Sam groaned as he sat up. “I thought this case was a bust,” Sam said pointedly. 

“Yeah well, some kid says he was abducted by aliens last night,” Dean told him. 

“Aliens Dean? Seriously? How is that a lead on anything except a mental patient?” Sam said impatiently.

“Yeah, I know it’s a long shot, but since we’re here anyway we may as well check it out. Two weird things in the same place so close together has my interest peaked.”

“Fine. We’ll check it out. But I’m telling you, it’s nothing,” Sam said grudgingly as he made for the bathroom. He had to admit that it was strange though. If it was the same weird thing then it could be easily explained by suggestibility, but what on earth did an alien have in common with a ghost. 

Sam was no less confused as he looked at the crater in front of Crawford Hall. It was clearly made by a jet engine of some sort, but it was too big to be made by a jet pack and the courtyard was too small for anything else with a jet engine to be launched from. When they managed to talk to the kid who was supposedly abducted, it was clear that something had happened to him and only Sam’s stubborn refusal kept him from believing it. They ended up with more questions than answers. As they headed out, leaving the blind drunk kid sitting at the table, Sam couldn’t help the longing glance back towards the building where Lo worked. He shook the thought off. It was no better idea today than it was yesterday. He needed to keep his distance. 

Despite the raging argument that came up back in the room when Sam found that his brother had apparently hidden his laptop as some sort of childish prank, Sam refused to leave the room. Not when he could run into Lo out there again. It wasn’t worth the risk. He had been far too close to falling last night. He couldn’t believe how easy it was with him. The kind of thing he would have killed for if he had any kind of a normal life, but given that they wouldn’t be in town long, it was too much. The fact that he wasn’t leaving didn’t keep him from snarling and sniping at Dean for the rest of the day when they had to do all their research the hard way since he didn’t have a computer. 

 

After Sam’s attitude most of the day, Dean had no remorse when he threw the pillow at his brother at four AM. He had just been headed to bed when he heard about the death on the police scanner. Both of them were beyond cranky by the time they climbed up out of the sewers, and when Dean found the air let out of Baby’s tires he was livid. He knew Sam was being a bitch about this whole computer thing, but this was going too far. Even if he had taken the stupid computer. He picked up Sam’s money clip and stormed back to the motel just as his brother was headed out of the shower. 

If they hadn’t been so tired and run down, the resulting wrestling match would have been embarrassing and childish, but they weren’t in any position to care at the moment. It wasn’t until they heard the knock at the door that they broke out of it. When Bobby pointed out that they were dealing with a trickster, Sam felt stupid. Of course they were dealing with a trickster. It was the only thing that made sense. The ghost, the alien, the alligator in the sewers. It was so obvious. 

When Dean suggested that Lo could be the trickster, Sam’s first instinct was denial. No way could he be a monster. He was too…Sam’s train of thought stopped there. Too charming, too funny, too easy to talk to. All things a trickster would be. Could Lo really be the trickster? Sam sighed as Dean wanted to go see him again. Sam didn’t want to see him again. He didn’t think he could handle it. Especially not now. Not knowing that he could be some kind of monster. Dean didn’t give him a choice though so he went along. 

Gabriel smirked to himself as he saw the hunters walking up again. His heart wasn’t really in it though. He knew what came next and he was both looking forward to and dreading moving on. He couldn’t help checking Sam out when his back was turned, and covered it by making a crude joke. He missed the flash of jealousy in Sam’s eyes before he made his excuses to leave. Gabriel thought nothing of that though. He knew Sam was going to go look for evidence to confirm their suspicions. He heard them arguing outside about him. Sam wanted more proof, but he knew that the older hunter wouldn’t wait. He was a little too trigger happy so he just went to set up the big boss fight and wait. 

As he expected it wasn’t long before Dean walked in and found himself face to face with the girls he had snapped up. When he made himself visible and offered them as incentive to let him leave, he almost laughed at the fact that the hunter literally looked pained to have to refuse. He wondered how the idiot didn’t know that if he was still here it was because he wanted to be. Like any human could prevent him from doing anything. Still. The kid was moderately amusing, and he let the banter go on for a bit, deciding at the spur of the moment that maybe if he could get the kid to relax he might be able to prevent the apocalypse from happening. If he could give him someone else to call before a demon. If he could give him a choice. 

It wasn’t to be though. When he realized that he was never going to get through to the hunter he turned hard. It was time to get this show on the road. He hadn’t expected the icy claw in his chest when he saw Sam walk in brandishing a stake to kill him with. If he had looked closer though, he would have seen the same turmoil in Sam’s eyes that he was hiding so well. When he snapped up the chainsaw killers he made sure they were as clumsy as possible. He didn’t want to hurt Sam. Well he didn’t want to hurt any of them really. That wasn’t the point of all this, but he especially didn’t want to hurt Sam. 

 

Sam somehow found himself lying on the ground in front of where the trickster was sitting, hidden from him by the row of seats, as his brother was thrown off the side of the stage, landing next to his fallen stake. He signaled Dean who tossed him the stake and he stood and met the trickster’s eyes as he raised a hand to stab him and he froze. He tried to make his arm work, but it just wouldn’t. He almost thought that the trickster was stopping him somehow, but he knew that wasn’t it. He could see the sadness in Lo’s eyes and his hand shook and the stake clattered to the ground. “Lo…” Sam breathed out around the clenching in his chest. 

He looked at Sam with a sad smile as he reached up a hand to the hunter’s cheek, only to fall forward onto him as soon as it connected as Dean used his distraction to free himself from his predicament and shoved a stake through his back. Sam fell to his knees, the trickster’s body still cradled in his arms, in shock. He couldn’t speak, could barely move, couldn’t believe what was happening. It was like it was all in slow motion. Like the world around him wasn’t even real. 

 

Dean looked at his brother with a mixture of anger and pity. Sam had never frozen like that before, and the fact that he obviously still felt something for the guy even after knowing what he was pissed Dean off. His brother looked so out of it though, and he knew as well as anyone that sometimes you just couldn’t help what you felt. He’d tried in the end though and that should earn him some forgiveness. “Come on Sammy,” he said rather more gently than he felt as he clapped a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “We need to get out of here.”

“Go ahead. I’ll be right behind you,” Sam said in a monotone. 

“We need to hurry before someone comes looking and finds a dead body lying here,” Bobby said pointedly. 

“I won’t get caught. Don’t worry. I just…need a few minutes,” Sam said as it was finally starting to hit him. 

Dean and Bobby looked hesitantly at each other, before Bobby said, “Okay. I’ll leave you the Chevelle and ride back with Dean. Don’t be too long and if I have to break you out of jail, I’m taking it out of your hide.”

Sam nodded, swallowing around the lump that was forming in his throat as his shock wore off. He just wanted them to leave. He didn’t want anyone to see him crying. Not over a monster. He somehow managed to hold himself together until he was alone and the tears fell fast and free from his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Gabriel watched Sam cry over his body and felt his heart break. He wasn’t sure what to do from here, and despite knowing that it was the worst thing he could do, he couldn’t help going to Sam. “I’m sorry, Sam. I never imagined you could feel it to. Especially not as strongly,” he said softly as the body in Sam’s arms faded into nothingness and the hunter spun around stake in hand to see the trickster standing there looking sadly at him. Like the last time he had been in this position he let the stake fall to the ground and didn’t even get up off his knees. 

“Go ahead then. Do whatever you’re going to do with me,” Sam said in defeat. He had obviously gotten him alone for a reason, but Sam just couldn’t bring himself to fight. Not even for his life.

“Oh, Sam,” Gabriel said sorrowfully as he knelt in front of the hunter and reached a hand for the taller man’s cheek. “I’m not going to hurt you. I could never hurt you.”

Sam blinked away the remaining tears as he focused on the tender being in front of him, trying to figure out what was going on when he remembered what Lo had said at first. “Feel what too?” 

“Humans usually can’t feel their soulmate,” Gabriel said softly, bracing himself for an explosion that never came. 

Sam ignored the soulmate part for now. He just couldn’t process that right now and just heard the beginning. “Great. Just one more way I’m a freak,” he said despondently. 

“No, Sammy,” Gabriel said gently. “Not a freak. It just means you have a huge capacity for love and a deep longing for it. It leaves you open to the connection.” Gabriel’s thumb ghosted over Sam’s cheekbone, wiping away the tear-tracks. 

That seemed to bring Sam back to awareness. “No,” he said scrambling back and smacking the trickster’s hand away from him. He might not be able to kill him but that didn’t mean he had to let this happen either. “You’re a monster. I don’t…don’t want a…a monster.”

Gabriel tamped down all the emotions clambering for purchase in him as he gave a slight smirk and said, “Not everything is as it seems Samsquatch.”

“So you’re not a trickster?” Sam asked pointedly. 

“Is that your only qualification for being a ‘monster’? That they not be human?” Gabriel asked just as pointedly. 

Sam sputtered a moment at that. He wanted to deny it. Especially when it was put like that. Like he was a bigot by thinking so, but he couldn’t completely deny it. There were those veggie vamps a few months ago though. “And kill people,” he added, grateful for an excuse. 

“Like I said, looks can be deceiving,” he said with a smirk. 

“What are you talking about?” Sam asked narrowing his eyes suspiciously. 

“The professor, who manipulated his students, not all of them overage, into sleeping with him and the researcher who enjoyed torture far more than research, are both alive and well, having some humanity beaten back into them by a group of monks at a little monastery in the middle of nowhere,” he said smugly. If it had been anyone but Sam, he would never have admitted that, but he couldn’t stand to have Sam think he was a monster. 

“They really…um…they did all that?” Sam asked confused. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Come on. I even gave you a push in the right direction on Mr. Morality. You didn’t dig? Not even a little?” 

Sam had the good grace to look a little sheepish at that. They had chalked that one up to a random jumper before the alien thing came up and then they had been sidetracked. “But why leave bodies then? Why not just have them disappear?” Sam asked. 

“Two reasons. First, if they ever do come back, which they will if they ever find genuine remorse for their crimes, it will be a long time from now. This way their families and friends get closure. Also, I wanted to pull you and your brother in. What better way to do that than bodies?” 

“Why? I mean…did you already know that we were…you know?” He couldn’t even manage to say the word. Not yet. Not with everything so up in the air. 

“No. That was the surprise of my life, let me tell you. I nearly shat myself the first time I laid eyes on you and realized that you were my soulmate,” Gabriel said with a chuckle. 

“Then why? Why did you want to bring us here?” Sam asked. He needed to understand. He needed to know how all this had happened and why. 

Gabriel faltered a bit. He didn’t really want to answer that question. He didn’t want to touch any of this with a ten foot pole, but Sam deserved an answer. This had all gone to hell in a handbasket, but maybe he could salvage something. Maybe his impulsive plan to talk them down could work after all. “Because you two have a big destiny. I was curious to see if you were up for it.”

Sam blinked at him a minute. He definitely wanted to know more about this destiny, but he couldn’t help but want to know the trickster’s opinion first. “And? Are we?” 

Gabriel considered a moment how to answer that question. No. They weren’t. But when that destiny is the apocalypse that wasn’t a bad thing. As long as they could keep from being forced into it in the first place that is. No seemed like such a negative answer to such a question though so he chose his words carefully. “The world might just find itself saved after all,” he said with a proud smile. 

“We…we’re supposed to…save the world?” Sam asked shocked. 

“It’s a long story,” Gabriel fobbed the hunter off. At least for right now. He had no intention of going into any kind of detail until he could consider the consequences more carefully. 

Sam realized that he wasn’t going to get any more of an answer right now, so he turned back to the trickster. “So this was all designed to bring us running? You don’t usually do this stuff?” he asked curiously. 

“Course I do. I am a trickster. I take people who need lessons and teach them one,” Gabriel said proudly. “I’m just usually a bit more subtle about it.”

“People like…you said? But the kid with the aliens is still here? And what did he do to deserve that?” Sam asked. Sure he hadn’t seemed like the nicest kid, but if Lo picked on every bully then he wouldn’t have time for anything else. 

“Yeah. People like that. The ones who are beyond any normal hope of redemption go to the monastery or another similar place that will hopefully straighten them out in enough time for their soul to find rest in the next life. The ones that aren’t quite so bad, just get taught a lesson in the real world. That kid was a pledge master. You went to college. I’m sure you heard the rumors of what that entails. He took it a few dozen steps further though. The things he put those kids through would have him executed in most countries and those kids will be traumatized for the rest of their lives. Only the fact that he is too young to really understand the consequences of those actions makes him able to be redeemed. If he takes this lesson to heart and remembers what it’s like on the other side. If not, I’ll be back for him in a few years when he’s too far gone.” 

“So it’s about saving their souls?” Sam asked trying to understand the trickster’s motivations. Like that would unlock the mysteries of the universe. Or at least the mysteries of his heart. 

Gabriel, once again, faltered a bit at the question. He was still an archangel at the core. The archangel of justice and mercy. It was in his nature to try and deprive hell of as many souls as he could. It was his job. On the run from heaven or not. His father had tasked them with protecting the humans and he was doing what he could. “It’s about saving their future victims, and if I can save their soul in the process then that’s just a bonus.”

Sam looked tenderly at the trickster as the feelings that he could no longer deny started flooding through him and he moved closer to the still kneeling man and reached out for him, in the same caring gesture that he had for Sam earlier. Sam brushed a lock of Lo’s sandy blonde hair out of his eyes and leaned forward and pressed his lips lightly to the trickster’s. 

Gabriel stopped breathing when Sam’s lips touched his. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He had kissed more beings than even he could count, but nothing, no one, could ever compare to this, to kissing his soulmate. There weren’t even words to describe it. It was the most profound thing he had ever experienced, and he had sat at the feet of god himself. It didn’t last very long, though it felt like forever, before Sam pulled back biting his lip nervously. 

Sam wasn’t sure how Lo felt about that. Sure he’d said they were soulmates, but that didn’t necessarily mean he wanted to do anything about it. Sam just hadn’t been able to help himself. It wasn’t until that moment that something else dawned on him though. “Dean,” he whispered fearfully. “Dean will never understand any of this. He’ll…he’ll try to kill you again and he’ll hate me. We…we can’t…we can’t do this.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Hey now,” Gabriel soothed. “Easy Sam. Just take a deep breath and relax.” He would be damned if he lost this just because of this stupid reason. “There’s no reason he ever has to know,” he assured the hunter. 

“He’s around me constantly. It’s not like we’ll be able to sneak around,” Sam told him. 

“Course we can. You’re forgetting what I am,” Gabriel said smugly. 

“What do you mean?” Sam asked. 

“How long would you say has passed since I got here?” he asked. 

“I don’t know. Half an hour maybe?” Sam guessed. He was surprised that Dean hadn’t come looking for him yet. 

“Try about two seconds,” he said with a smirk. “I mean, I could stop time completely, but it’s a little more effort and not really necessary in this situation. I could grab you up, take you on a nice vacation and return you to the same moment you left and he, nor anyone else would be any the wiser.”

Sam blinked in thought at that for a minute as he tried to find a flaw in the plan. “What if you pull me out in the middle of a conversation and I forget what we were talking about? That might be suspicious.”

“I can watch and make sure you aren’t in the middle of something. I can even wait until you go to bed if that’s easier for you. If I ever actually NEED to pull you out in the middle of something, I’ll make sure to remind you where you left off when I get you back,” Gabriel told him. 

It all sounded good to Sam, except… “So you want me to live a double life? Lie to everyone I care about all the time?” 

Gabriel blinked at him a moment. He was so used to living a double life himself that it had never even dawned on him that it could bother someone else. That it could bother Sam. He sighed sadly and gave a slight smile. “I know it’s not ideal, but it’s the only way I know to keep your life intact and still have this. I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you my number and if you decide this is something you want, or even if you just want to talk, about anything, you can call me. Or you can pray for me, if you’re comfortable with that,” he added as an afterthought. He wasn’t sure how Sam would feel about yet another reminder that he wasn’t human but he wanted Sam to know that it was an option. “And if you ever get into trouble that you can’t get out of…no matter what you decide with this…I want you to pray to me.”

“Pray to…Loki?” Sam guessed. A trickster with a shortened name of Lo was rather obvious. 

“You got it,” Gabriel said with a grin and a wink. “My number is in your phone under ‘L’ so your brother won’t get suspicious, but you can always change it if you want,” he told him as he stood up, having mojo’d his number in the hunter’s phone. He was putting on a good show right now, but waiting for Sam’s answer was going to kill him. He refused to pressure the young hunter though. This would be whatever Sam wanted it to be. 

“Okay. T-thank you, Loki. I-I’ll think about it,” Sam said as he took Loki’s outstretched hand to help him to his feet. 

“I’ll always be here…no matter what you decide,” Loki told him, brushing a lock of hair behind Sam’s ear, hand lingering on his face for a moment. 

Sam pulled him forward and wrapped his arms around him, resting their foreheads together. He knew what he wanted. He wanted this more than anything. The question was could he live with it. That’s what he had to figure out. After a moment he tilted his head forward and kissed Loki again, soft and sweet, and the god whimpered when he pulled back. “I’ll call you, Lo,” he whispered. “One way or another, I’ll call you.” He had no intention of leaving Loki wondering forever. He just needed some distance right now. He had a whole metric crapton of shit to process right now and he needed some time to wrap his head around everything before he made any decisions.

“I’ll be waiting,” Gabriel whispered back. He would always be waiting. Even if Sam said no, he would always wait. Even if Sam died and went to heaven he would always wait for the day Sam would call him. There was no one else for him now. Ever. 

He waited until he heard the car start up and leave before he collapsed into the nearest seat and put his head in his hands as he took a deep shaky breath. He couldn’t shake the fear that this was the end. For both of them. When the shit hit the fan, his love for Sam was likely going to kill him. He hoped he could stop it, but he wasn’t naïve. He knew that destiny wasn’t so easily derailed. He prayed to a father that had long stopped listening that he could succeed here. 

 

Sam pulled into the motel and saw the Impala still there. He was glad they hadn’t left town yet, but then Loki said they only had a few minutes head start. He put his game face on and opened the door and two faces snapped towards him as Dean was packing up their stuff. “Sam…I’m sorry…I mean, not that I did it…but…”

Sam cut him off. “It’s okay Dean. You did what needed to be done. I get it. I’m sorry I froze like that,” Sam told him. Granted he was only sorry because he knew that it was a copy and now it would make Dean more suspicious, but he didn’t need to know that. 

“Good. I’m glad,” Dean said signaling the end of the conversation. He had pretty much decided that the trickster had been messing with his head somehow and now whatever spell he had Sam under was broken, so it was all water under the bridge. 

Sam found it exceedingly hard to think with Dean right there. His brother could always tell when he was distracted and drove him crazy about it, so he had to confine his thinking time to bedtime, during which he always had trouble staying awake long enough to come to any conclusions about anything. Dean seemed to be driving them harder than ever too. Probably to try and distract him from everything that happened back at the college. It seemed like they had no sooner finished one case then another one got started and that cut down on his thinking time too. 

Granted the next one they hit was time sensitive. That particular highway was only haunted one night a year. Sam was surprised when the woman didn’t know that she was dead, but they worked it out. They got the violent spirit taken care of and Molly moved on in peace. The next one was another heart wrenching one. The poor woman had no idea that she had been turned into a werewolf. She kept coming onto him, and Sam was very tempted to give her one last roll in the hay for her sake, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t help but feel that would be a betrayal to Loki. Sam felt horrible for her as he took her out, but he didn’t have much choice in the end when all efforts to cure her failed. 

The next two cases, Dean had far too much fun with. Between the movie set and the prison he was having a blast. Well right up until the end of both of them when all hell broke loose. They managed though. Barely. When they encountered the djinn next, Sam’s heart broke when Dean told him about his perfect world. He wished his brother could have that. He wished Jess were still alive, but he couldn’t say that marrying her still appealed to him. He realized then that he loved Loki. More than he ever had anyone. That was one piece of the puzzle solved at least. He still had to decide if he could handle living a double life like that though. That was the big question. 

He was no closer to an answer when he suddenly found himself waking in a ghost town. He found Andy, then Ava, then a couple other psychics he hadn’t met yet only for one of them to turn up dead. When the yellow-eyed demon visited him in his dream, he got the feeling he was in over his head and he considered calling Loki, but that wouldn’t be fair. He couldn’t just leave the guy hanging on the big question and then call him to bail him out whenever he got in over his head so he handled it as best he could and breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Dean and Bobby coming for him. He breathed too soon though because the next thing he knew, he had a blade in his back and he stumbled forward into Dean’s arms. This time…this time he tried to call Loki, but before he could form the thought he was gone.


	5. Chapter 5

Sam appeared in an area filled with nothing but blinding white expanse. “Why didn’t you call me?” he heard a voice ask from behind him and he spun to see it. 

“Loki?” Sam asked waiting for his mind to catch up. “I’m sorry, Lo. I haven’t really had a chance to figure things out. I was going to…soon…”

“Forget about that. Take as much time as you need to think about us. I mean when you were in trouble. I told you to call me when you were in trouble.”

Sam shrugged sheepishly. “I didn’t think it would be very fair to expect you to bail me out without having an answer on the rest.”

Loki stepped up close to him and lifted his head so that he was looking Loki in the eye. “I told you I didn’t care about that. I don’t care what you decide about us, I will ALWAYS save you. I will ALWAYS protect you. With everything I have.”

Sam swallowed around the knot forming in his throat at the earnest declaration. He should have called. Both to say yes to them and when he was in trouble. “I’m sorry Lo. Really. But I’ve decided. About us. I want to give it a try.”

Loki grinned at him and couldn’t help a bit of a chuckle. “Well that’s all well and good, but first we need to bring you back to life.”

“I’m dead?” Sam asked looking down at himself. He looked solid. He had assumed that Loki had brought him somewhere. 

“Yep. I felt your death and snatched your soul before it could move on. I can’t sense your body though. It must be under heavy wards. Once you tell me where it is I’ll…” Gabriel frowned as he was left staring at nothing as Sam was snatched away. That wasn’t the work of death or reapers. When he heard Sam’s prayer a moment later he followed it to the hunter’s side to find him being hugged nearly to death by his brother. 

He kept himself invisible, knowing that Sam didn’t want Dean to know about them, and he placed a hand on Sam’s back for support, healing the last traces of the wound there and letting the hunter know he was there and Sam’s smile grew brighter. He wanted to talk to Sam. To find out what happened. How he got pulled back and resurrected without his involvement, but then it dawned on him. He squinted at the brother and yep. There it was. The marker on his soul. Damnit. He should have been faster. It had taken too much time to retrieve Sam’s soul. He had wasted time talking. He should have just asked Sam where his body was and stuffed his soul back in immediately. The dominos were falling and he prayed to an absent father that he wasn’t too late to stop the rest. 

He remembered Sam’s concern about pulling him out in the middle of something, but mostly he didn’t want to be the one to have to break the news about his brother. Dean should tell Sam himself. If he didn’t then Gabriel would, but he would give Dean a chance first. Gabriel stayed with them as they drove the few hours to Bobby’s. He sat in the backseat and kept his invisible hand in Sam’s as he drove. Letting the hunter know that he was there and just being silent support as the brothers talked on the drive. 

When Bobby pulled Dean outside to talk, Gabriel took the chance to make himself visible. “Heya Samsquatch,” he said with a lopsided smile. 

Sam surged forward and kissed him soundly. “Hey hobbit,” he said back with a grin. “I was surprised you didn’t take me somewhere,” he asked as much as said. 

“You’ve got a lot to do still. Once this mess is over with you and I can take as long a vacation as you want, but you need to be dealing with all this fresh. I won’t be far, and I’ll help where I can without drawing attention, unless of course I have to draw attention to save you. Then all bets are off,” he said with a grin. Gabriel stiffened suddenly. “Be careful, Sam,” he said quickly as he disappeared again, placing a hand on Sam’s shoulder to let him know he was still there. 

Sam was surprised when Dean and Bobby came in with Ellen. They had told him she was dead. He quickly got the story, they found out what the yellow-eyed demon was after, and Sam knew why Loki wanted him dealing with this while it was all fresh. They high-tailed it to the devil’s gate just in time. After a bit of a standoff with Jake, who was more than surprised to see Sam alive, which the hunter just smirked at, they found Ellen with a gun to her head being mind controlled by Jake who was taunting them. 

“Shoot him,” Ellen ground out, fighting the mind control. 

While Jake was telling them that would be a bad idea, Gabriel was whispering in Sam’s ear, “Do it. I got her.” Sam did as he was told and shot Jake in the chest as Ellen’s gun tried to go off but jammed. 

While Bobby made sure Ellen was okay, Dean retrieved the colt, looking nervously at Sam who was just standing there like he was in shock. “It’s okay Sammy. It had to be done. You know that,” Dean said assuming Sam’s state had something to do with the fact that he just killed a human being. 

“How did I come back?” Sam asked, turning to Dean, but knowing the invisible being with them was listening too. When Jake started talking about having killed him, he was thinking that he had no idea that Loki could bring him back, but then it dawned on him. Loki was trying to find him. He was in the middle of a sentence asking Sam where his body was when he was suddenly alive again. He hadn’t had a chance to answer Loki. Loki couldn’t have brought him back. He suddenly had a very bad feeling about this. 

Bobby heard the question and started herding Ellen away, giving the boys time to talk, while giving Dean a stern look that clearly meant that he should tell Sam everything. Dean sighed and leaned against a tree as he said, “I made a deal.”

“Tell me you did not just tell me you sold your soul to bring me back,” Sam hissed angrily. 

“Well what else was I supposed to do!?” Dean asked defensively. 

“Not that!” Sam yelled. “You didn’t have to do that! I was…”

“Careful,” he heard a whisper in his ear. Gabriel had no issues if he wanted to tell Dean about them, but he didn’t want it to be spilled in a fit of anger that Sam would regret later. 

“I…I’m gonna fix this,” Sam deflated. “I’ll find a way to fix this.” 

Gabriel winced. He knew that Sam was going to ask him to fix it. And he knew that he would have to say no. He never wanted to deny Sam anything, but this was something he couldn’t do. 

“How long did you get?” Sam asked. 

“A year,” Dean said sadly. 

“Okay. I’ll fix it. Don’t worry,” Sam said firmly. 

Gabriel couldn’t listen anymore. He couldn’t hear Sam’s faith in him, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to live up to that faith. The next thing Sam knew he was standing in a rather luxurious apartment and he saw Loki sitting at the kitchen table, head bowed and fingers laced behind his head. “I can’t, Sam.”

“You…can’t?” Sam asked. 

“I can’t. There’s nothing I can do,” he reiterated. 

“But…there has to be…you’re…you’re a god…You’re…”

“I can’t, Sam. I’m sorry. I would move heaven and earth for you. I would do anything in my power, give everything I have, up to and including my life, but this is beyond my ability. I’m so sorry,” Gabriel said willing his own tears away at hearing how broken Sam sounded. 

“But…why?” Sam asked as his own tears started to fall. 

“No one and nothing has the ability to interfere with a human’s free will. And this deal was made of his own free will. It can’t be broken,” Gabriel told him sadly. 

“But…you said you can play with time. You could take us back to yesterday. Stop him from making the deal somehow,” Sam grasped at straws. 

“I can play with time, but I can’t change anything that’s happened. I can go back to yesterday. I can even take you with me, but we can’t change anything. The past can’t be changed.”

“Can…can we…try?” Sam pleaded. 

Gabriel sighed. He knew it would just hurt Sam more, but he also knew that Sam had to try. That he would never let it go otherwise. “If it makes you feel better we can try. I’ll even send you back alone so you’ll know I’m not interfering in your attempts,” Gabriel offered. He knew that some part of Sam, if not now then eventually, would wonder if Gabriel wanted Dean out of the way to make their relationship easier. He didn’t want to give that thought any time to grow in the hunter’s head and if this is what it took then so be it. 

“O-okay. But what do I do?” Sam asked. 

“Whatever you want to do. Whatever you can to stop it. It won’t work, but I understand you need to try,” Gabriel told him. “You ready?” When Sam nodded Gabriel snapped his fingers. Sam would come back to him as soon as he woke up in that cabin after he was resurrected. He had sent him to Dean, 24 hours earlier.


	6. Chapter 6

Sam appeared in the room, seeing Dean staring at his dead body. “Dean!” he called as he ran over. 

“S-Sammy? But…what…” he looked back and forth between the Sam in front of him and the one on the bed before he snarled and pulled a silver blade. Obviously it wasn’t a demon because it wasn’t in Sam’s body, so it must be a shifter. Sam hissed as the blade cut him, but it didn’t sizzle. “What are you?” Dean growled. 

“I’m Sam. Just listen a sec okay. I’m from tomorrow. I will be back, but you can’t do anything stupid okay,” he begged. 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Dean asked heatedly. 

“I came back to stop you from making a mistake,” Sam tried again only to be cut off. 

“Back from the future?” Dean scoffed. “Right.”

“Damnit Dean! Listen to me!” Sam said impatiently. 

Dean figured he was hallucinating or dreaming or something so he figured he might as well listen. “Fine. Listening.”

“Look, I will be back. You don’t need to make a demon deal. I have another way to come back. You just have to give it a chance okay?” Sam told him. 

“A demon deal!” Dean said. “Why didn’t I think of that?” He headed for the trunk and started scrambling for the box they had from their crossroads case. 

“Damnit Dean! I said DON’T do it!”

“Uh-huh. And how else are you gonna come back huh?” Dean asked annoyed with the stupid hallucination. It gave him the idea he needed. It could go now. 

“Loki,” Sam gave up his biggest secret. If it would save his brother’s soul he would give it up. “The trickster. He’ll bring me back. He had my soul and I was about to tell him where my body was so he could put it back when you made your deal and pulled me back anyway.”

“Trickster?” Dean asked narrowing his eyes at his brother. “I killed you,” he said heatedly. 

“No, Dean. I’m not the trickster. I’m Sam. He just sent me back here to stop you from doing this,” Sam said. 

“Yeah, right. You’re lucky I don’t have a stake on me right now and I have more important things to do than kill you again. Now leave me alone,” Dean said heatedly as he got in the car to drive away. Towards the nearest crossroads. 

Sam jumped in the car with him. “Dean. Please. Listen to me!” Sam begged, tears running from his eyes now. “Don’t do this, Dean. Please. You can’t. You remember how it felt when Dad did that for you. Don’t do that to me, Dean please.”

Dean seemed to falter a bit, but then he steeled himself a barreled ahead. “Nice try. You’re almost convincing. I’m not letting anyone stop me from saving my brother though, so save it.”

Sam continued to beg and plead with him, offering everything he could think of, every personal detail of his life, anything to get Dean to believe him. To stop this. Even as Dean stood there negotiating with the demon, Sam was standing next to him begging, much to the demon’s amusement. She could see that he had already been resurrected by her so assumed that he must have found a time travel spell. 

Once the deal was sealed, Sam found himself back in Loki’s house as the god looked up at him through wet eyes. “I’m sorry, Sam,” he said again and Sam lost his footing as the sobs were ripped from him. Gabriel flew over to him and caught him before he could hit the floor and brought him over to the couch. He laid the hunter down with his head in his lap and ran his fingers through Sam’s hair as the hunter cried. “I would fix this for you if I could, Sam. I swear I would. If anyone could, I would find them and blackmail them or bully them or do whatever it took to make them fix it. I’m so sorry, Sam.” 

It didn’t take long for Sam to cry himself to sleep, and Gabriel transferred him to the bed so he could sleep more comfortably. He snapped up a plush armchair next to the bed, not wanting to take the step of getting into bed with the hunter without his permission, no matter that nothing was going to happen. He couldn’t bring himself to leave Sam’s side though. Not right now. Instead he used the time while Sam was sleeping to consider how much he could tell him of the destiny waiting for him and his brother. It would skirt uncomfortably close to his biggest secret, but it wouldn’t really be the end of the world if his soulmate figured him out. It didn’t mean he wouldn’t try to avoid it, but whatever happened, happened. 

Gabriel was staring out the window, lost in thought when Sam started to stir. He figured that the god was mad at him and that’s why he wasn’t lying down with him and why he looked so pensive. “Lo. I-I’m sorry…”

Gabriel cut him off though. “No, Sam. Don’t apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for,” he assured the hunter as he reached over to take his hand again. 

“Then…why are you…you know…over there?” he asked nervously. Maybe he had misread the situation between them. 

Gabriel gave him a tentative smile. “I wasn’t going to take liberties that I wasn’t offered…”

That was as far as he got before Sam yanked on his hand, toppling the smaller man into bed with him. “Consider it offered,” Sam told him. Then he realized how it seemed and he started to backtrack. “I mean…not that we have to…it’s just…”

Gabriel couldn’t help a slight chuckle as he leaned over a kissed Sam gently to shut him up. “It’s okay, Samshine. We don’t have to decide anything or define anything right now. We’re good,” he said wrapping his arms around the hunter and pulling him close. 

“It-it’s not that I’m…against it…really…I just…haven’t thought about it…and it seems like I should…you know…before…”

Gabriel ran a soothing hand through Sam’s hair. “I know Sam. I get it. There’s no rush. Really. You have rather more important things on your mind at the moment. I know.”

At the deity’s words the memories all came rushing back to the forefront of Sam’s mind and he shuddered. “It’s my fault, Lo,” he whispered guiltily. “I…I was the one who gave him the idea.”

“Oh, Samshine,” Gabriel said pulling him closer and resting his cheek on the hunter’s head. “It’s not your fault. If it hadn’t been you, it would have been something else. He always would have had the idea because he did the first time.”

“But it was me. This time it was me,” Sam sniffled. 

Gabriel sighed sadly. “This is the danger of time travel. You can’t change anything. All you can do is shift the guilt. If it helps, the version your brother remembers is the first one. Whatever or whoever gave him the idea there is the one that he acted on.”

Sam gave a half shrug from the warm cocoon of Loki’s arms. “I don’t know. I just…I can’t forget the fact that I gave him the idea. I will always remember that, whether he does or not,” Sam said sadly. “You knew that would happen?” 

“I suspected. I knew nothing would change, but you had to try. I understand that. The first time I was faced with a horrible situation I tried to go back and change it too. I went through the same thing. No one ever believes the older and wiser one that says it can’t be changed,” he said wryly. “Or more like we hope they are wrong and can’t just not try.”

Sam nodded. He was glad that Loki understood and didn’t think less of him for it, or was upset that he had asked him to do it. Sure Sam could be difficult and blame Loki for letting him in the first place, but that would be stupid. He wouldn’t have let it go without trying. Loki was right about that much. That also told him something about what their relationship would be like. Loki wouldn’t try and control him. He wouldn’t use the whole, I’m older and smarter and I know better than you, excuses. He would offer his advice and let Sam make his own decisions, his own mistakes. Sam couldn’t help but think that he would be a fool to completely discount Loki’s advice again though. He would at least put a little more consideration into it in the future. “Thank you,” Sam said, burrowing a little deeper into his soulmate’s arms. 

“Always,” Gabriel whispered pressing a kiss to the hunter’s mop of hair.


	7. Chapter 7

“So what do I do now?” Sam asked after a few minutes. 

“If I can make a suggestion?” Gabriel started and when Sam nodded against him he said, “Take some time here with me. Outside of time. Come to terms with this, and then go back and deal with it. You don’t have to take it on while it still hurts so much and you won’t lose any time with your brother anyway.”

“How do I come to terms with this?” Sam asked brokenly. “With the fact that my brother is going to hell for me?” 

“One thing you have to understand, Sammy. He’s not going to hell for YOU. It has nothing to do with you.”

“What do you…” 

“I’ll grant you that he didn’t know I would resurrect you, but even then your soul was on its way to heaven. You would have been happy and free and waiting for him when he got there. It had nothing to do with saving you. It had to do with him being afraid to be alone. If he was thinking about you he would never have considered putting the same burden on you that your father put on him.”

That sounded all well and good, and even plausible, except… “I don’t think I’d go to heaven, Lo. I…I found out that I…I have demon blood in me…”

“Oh psh,” Gabriel waved that off. “You can’t lose your place in heaven by something that someone does TO you. Only what you do yourself. You were a baby. It means nothing. All it did was link that demon with you so he could find you and mess with your head a little.”

“You knew?” Sam asked incredulously. 

“Sure I knew. I saw it in you the moment I saw you. Just like I could see the marker on Dean’s soul when he brought you back. Trust me kiddo. Your soul is as pure as the driven snow. Moreover, I know exactly who I snatched your soul from before it could move on. You couldn’t go anywhere but heaven.”

“But…” Sam cut himself off. Part of him didn’t really want to know and he didn’t want to offend Loki. Not when he was being so kind. 

“But what, Sam-a-lam. Come on. Don’t hold back on me,” Gabriel said with a raised eyebrow. 

Sam remembered the first night the hung out together at the bar when he had said that, prompting Sam to make a short joke. Hopefully this one would turn out as well. “It’s just…you’re…you’re a pagan god. Wouldn’t that…us…I don’t know…affect things?”

Gabriel had expected that, and obviously the hunter had nothing to be concerned about there, but he couldn’t exactly tell him that he was actually an archangel, so he settled for a different, but no less true, tactic. “Humans have a lot of misconceptions. The religions don’t hate each other. Don’t get me wrong, there is quite a bit of fighting among the different factions of gods, but that has more to do with the personalities involved than any religious aspects. Granted the more worshipers we have the greater our power, which is why there have been quite a few gods going nuts the last century or two…and incidentally why hunters came to start seeing gods as monsters. They didn’t always, you know, but that’s a story for another time. Fact is, where you go when you die has little to do with actual religion. You were baptized as a baby marking you for either heaven or hell. The only way you go to hell is if you’re such a horrible person that it mutilates your soul…or if you sell your soul of course. Should you want to convert at any time, to join another faith your soul would then be marked for their afterlife, not hell. You don’t really even have to practice the religion. It’s basically just deciding where you want your soul to rest.”

Sam took that in for a moment. He supposed it made sense. The other religions actually existed. Loki was proof of that. It was logical that their versions of the afterlife would exist too. Once he got his head wrapped around the idea he couldn’t help but ask, “Do you want me to? Convert I mean?” It didn’t mean he would, but given the fact that he was…something…with a pagan…he wanted to know if it was going to come up later. 

“I want you to do whatever you want with regards to that subject. I will never ask for anything different. If you ever have questions about the other options, I will answer them of course, but any decisions are yours to make, without comment or input from me or anyone else,” Gabriel said seriously. He knew that there were only two real options that the hunter would take. Heaven or Helheim, and even if he did have anything to say about Sam’s decision, he could live with either. It wasn’t like going to heaven meant going home. He would be in Sam’s heaven, not the control center, and he could keep his powers there. For the most part at least. Helheim was a little more boring and he would have far more limited powers, but he would be close to his children so it balanced out. Either way, he wasn’t going to influence Sam’s decision. 

Sam couldn’t help but smile at that. He was having trouble wrapping his head around the fact that a god wouldn’t take the opportunity to control him or push him into something. He had more power than anything on the planet. He could do whatever he wanted. To Sam or anyone else, but he just wanted Sam to make his own decisions. It was a heady thing. Even Dean rarely let him make his own decisions. Speaking of Dean, an idea struck him. “Wait. What if Dean converts?” 

Gabriel winced. He should have known that Sam would take that from his information. “Unfortunately, selling your soul is different. It’s a contract. A binding agreement. Something in return for something. Once a soul is claimed it can’t be changed. I’m sorry.”

“No. I’m sorry. I keep asking for things that you can’t do,” Sam said sadly. He knew that if Loki could help him he would. Hell if Loki knew anyone that could help him, he would, but Sam just kept poking at the wound and making the god feel bad for not being able to help. 

“No, Sam. It’s okay. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that humans have a way of looking at things that are very different from anything else. They have an ingenuity that other species lack. Just because I’m sure it’s impossible doesn’t mean you can’t think of a way it can be done. If you come up with an idea, tell me. The impossible has been done before, after all.” Truth was, Gabriel would do just about anything to get Dean out of this godforsaken deal. If Dean went to hell and broke the first seal then Sam would be in the hot seat, and protecting him would get a great deal more difficult. 

Sam started to form a suspicion. “Am I supposed to find a way to get him out of it? Is that part of the destiny you mentioned before?” 

Gabriel sighed. He should have known the conversation would come back around to this sooner rather than later. “No. You’re not. It’s a really long story, so I’ll make a deal with you. Take some time here, relax, wrap your head around the things you already know, and before I take you back I’ll answer any questions I can about your destiny.”

Sam considered the offer for a minute. It wasn’t like waiting to find out would matter much. Time wasn’t passing at all so he couldn’t miss anything and he did have a whole lot of heavy stuff to wrap his head around already. It wouldn’t hurt to let it settle first. And he did want some time with Loki. No he NEEDED some time with Loki. He needed to figure out where they were going, what they were. He had said there was no rush to define anything, but Sam wanted it defined. It would be nice having all the time in the world to figure things out. He lifted his head and kissed Loki softly, waiting until the smaller man responded before attempting to deepen the kiss for the first time. 

Gabriel gladly opened for the hunter’s probing tongue and bit back his moan at the feeling. Nothing could ever compare to being with his soulmate. It was like his grace was singing at the contact. When it was clear that Sam wasn’t intending to break the kiss anytime soon, he shifted so that he was lying down on the bed rather than leaning against the headboard, and Sam leaned slightly over him, one hand running through his hair and the other resting on his chest. 

When Sam felt Loki’s hand that was resting on his side, slide underneath his shirt, thumb tracing circles on the hunter’s skin, he came back to himself. He had gotten rather lost in the kiss. He wondered if Loki was just that good of a kisser or if it was a soulmate thing. “What are we doing here Lo?” Sam asked softly.


	8. Chapter 8

“What do you want, Sam?” Gabriel asked just as softly. 

Sam huffed a little. “I want to not be playing this game,” he grumbled. 

Gabriel couldn’t help the twitch of his lips as he fought a smile. “No games, Sam. Really. But I need to know what you want before we can decide where to take this.”

“What about what you want?” Sam asked pointedly, even as he was still leaning over the small god.

“I know that what you want won’t influence what I want. I can’t say the same for you,” he pointed out.

Sam wanted to dispute that. He really did, but he couldn’t. Truth was, he couldn’t imagine denying Loki much of anything right now. “Okay. I want…I want a relationship. Monogamy. I want to see where this goes.” He struggled with putting something like that so bluntly, but he knew the rumors about gods and their insatiable sexual appetites, and he wanted to make sure there would be no misunderstandings. 

“Then that’s what we have,” Gabriel said happily. 

“What about what you want?” Sam asked again. He didn’t like having an answer pulled from him and not getting one in return.

Gabriel gave a nervous half-smile. “What I want is considerably more, and not something that you’re ready for yet. I’m good with waiting for you to catch up.”

Sam blinked at him for a moment and considered pushing the matter, but decided against it. He knew what Loki was implying and he couldn’t deny that it was pretty scary and that was without it being spelled out. Best not to poke that hornet’s nest. At least now he knew that Loki was serious about this. About them. He was comfortable taking the next step now. He leaned back down and captured the god’s lips again, immediately deepening the kiss as his fingers started undoing the smaller man’s shirt buttons. 

When Gabriel felt Sam undoing his buttons, his hand tightened on the hunter’s side and slid underneath Sam’s shirt as he kissed him back eagerly. Was he really going to get this lucky? When Sam had all the buttons undone, Gabriel sat up a bit so that Sam could push it back off his shoulders before he grabbed the bottom of Sam’s shirt and pulled it over his head. He could sense that Sam was a little nervous and he was doing his best to let Sam set the pace here and not move things along as the hunter’s hands wandered over his chest and stomach. He could see virgins, and while Sam was obviously not a virgin in the strictest sense of the word, he did have a virgin ass and Gabriel figured that he’d never been with a guy at all given his upbringing. 

He couldn’t help the needy whimper when Sam flicked his thumb over Gabriel’s nipple, and when he noticed that he did it again more firmly before experimenting a bit with pinching, twisting, pulling, scratching, while kissing Gabriel even more enthusiastically. When Sam’s hand, finally, moved lower pressing over the large bulge in Gabriel’s pants, he couldn’t help but buck his hips up into the touch as a moan pulled from lips. He was very close to losing control as Sam rubbed him slowly through his pants for a good long time before he started fumbling with the button. Once it popped, Gabriel couldn’t hold back anymore. He flipped himself over top of the hunter breaking the kiss and moving to Sam’s neck with hard needy sucks and nips. “Shit, Sammy. Want you so bad,” murmured against the soft skin as he pressed his erection down against Sam’s happy to see that the hunter was just as hard. 

Sam had been waiting for that. Hoping for it really. He had no idea what he was doing here. Not with another guy and he wanted Loki to take control and now that he was, Sam was meeting the slow roll of his hips and wondering how it was that he could just ooze sensuality in every motion. “God, Sam, please. Please let me fuck you.” Sam’s response was to slide his hands under Loki’s pants, grabbing his ass and pulling him down harder while trying to slide his pants off. 

Gabriel so wanted to take that as an invitation, but he had to be sure. He would never forgive himself if he overstepped here. He needed actual consent. “I need…words, Sam…can I…”

“Please…yes…f-fuck me, Lo,” Sam breathed out as the god’s lips brushed down over his collarbone. Gabriel didn’t have any patience left to go slow. Not this time. He snapped his fingers removing the remainder of their clothes and slid down, taking the hunter in his mouth as a lubed finger pushed past the tight ring of muscles heading directly for the sweet spot. 

Sam arched up off the bed, one hand tightening in Loki’s hair as the other one fisted the sheets and he cried out in pleasure. He very nearly blew right then and there, but Loki was apparently expecting it and pulled him back from the edge. He didn’t know how he had lived so long without this. It was incredible. He barely felt the burn as the second finger joined the first and they began scissoring him open. When the third finger entered him, he was barely coherent, and then suddenly he was empty. “You ready Sammy?” Loki whispered as he felt the head of Loki’s impressive cock pressed against his entrance and all he could do was nod enthusiastically. As he felt the slow slide into him, filling him more completely than he ever could have imagined, he was so completely out of it. He had never felt anything so amazing. 

Gabriel leaned down to kiss Sam as he bottomed out and tried to keep himself from ending this way too soon. Being with his soulmate like this was about a hundred times more amazing than the best sex he’d ever had, and not just because of his grace bubbling ecstatically within him. He found himself very glad that a bonding had to be started before sex because he didn’t know if he would be able to hold his grace back if it tried now. It wasn’t long before Sam lifted his hips, pulling Gabriel in even deeper, in an entreaty to get him to move. He let out a strangled moan as he slowly drew his hips back before snapping them back forward, directly into Sam’s prostate, causing the hunter to keen beneath him. 

Sam’s hands were gripping and scratching and clutching for any purchase they could find against the sweat slick body moving sensually over him and in him as lips and teeth and tongue trailed over his shoulders and neck and the pace quickened and he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. He had no idea how he had lasted this long. When he felt Loki’s hand wrap around his length and start stroking him, one of his hands found the god’s hair and pulled him up into a searing kiss as they both found their release together, whimpering and grunting into open mouths as they did so, and the kiss changed from hard and desperate to soft and sweet. Sam didn’t even notice the blinding light that filled the room, figuring it was just himself nearly blacking out from the intensity. 

Gabriel stilled over his soulmate for a good long while, just kissing him softly as he tried to bring himself back under control after the explosion of grace. Thankfully Sam’s eyes were already closed or he wouldn’t have had any eyes left. He couldn’t believe he had lost control that much. That hadn’t happened since the first time he’d had sex. When he finally felt like he was somewhat in control again, he pulled his softening dick out of Sam and slid to the side, curling up next to him. 

Sam ran a hand through his lover’s sweat slick hair as he pulled him close. “That was amazing,” he breathed out, barely audible, getting a hum from Loki that obviously meant agreement. Only then did he manage to look around the room and see the devastation around them. “What…um…happened?

“I’ll…fix it in a minute,” Gabriel said still out of breath. 

“But what…” Sam trailed off. 

“Little bit of a power explosion. Sorry,” he said with as close of an approximation of a shrug as he could manage at the moment. He was very glad that Sam was human and thus, had no idea that was no pagan power explosion. 

“Is that…um…normal?” Sam asked tentatively. 

Gabriel couldn’t help but snort a laugh. “Not hardly. That was just…too perfect.”

Sam couldn’t help but grin. “Yeah. It really was,” he whispered as he pressed a kiss to Loki’s forehead and they lay there in silence enjoying the afterglow for a good long while.


	9. Chapter 9

Sam didn’t know how the words, “I love you, Lo,” managed to tumble from his lips as he lay there sated and happy, but he couldn’t actually regret it after Loki practically purred as he tightened his grip and returned the sentiment. Something struck Sam then and he couldn’t help but tense up nervously. 

“What’s up Samsquatch?” Gabriel asked nervously. He really hoped he wasn’t going to have to fight for this again. He hoped the hunter wasn’t on the verge of running or coming up with some more objections he would have to overcome. When Sam hesitated, Gabriel rolled his eyes. Once he got this taken care of he would have to address this tendency to hold back. He propped himself up on his elbow so that he could look at the hunter. “Come on Sam. Do we always have to do this? Speak.”

“It’s just…this whole tender, loving, patient thing…it just doesn’t seem like you,” he said hesitantly. 

Oh was that all? “You’re my soulmate, Sam. You get to see parts of me that no one else does. I do have a serious side. It’s not all jokes and pranks and fun, and you’ve been upset and dealing with a lot, so yeah. I’m being supportive. It’s no less me than the rest. It’s just not a part of me that anyone else gets to see, normally.” 

“Right. Okay. That makes sense. I was just a little worried…” Sam paused unsure how to finish the sentence. 

“That I was trying to be something I’m not to make you like me?” he chuckled. “I’m a little too old for those games, kiddo.” Gabriel realized this was the perfect chance to bring up his issue too. “And so are you,” he added pointedly. 

“What do you mean?” Sam asked feeling like he was missing something. 

“All this holding back, not wanting to say what’s on your mind. You keep doing that.”

“Sorry. I just…I don’t want to offend you,” he tried to defend himself. 

“Well that’s more likely to offend me than anything else,” Gabriel pointed out with a smile to soften the blow. “Trust me Sam-a-lam. I’m not easily offended. Short of throwing around baseless accusations without even asking about them, you’re in the clear.” 

Sam remembered a question that he had wanted to ask, but didn’t for that reason. “So if I asked you if you mind-controlled the monks to make them keep people prisoner?”

Gabriel chuckled. “That’s a valid question, despite it holding a bit of accusation in it, but that’s okay as long as you’re asking rather than assuming. The answer is yes and no. Technically they are under my control, but they never weren’t. They aren’t real monks. I created them to do just what they are doing. That lifestyle is the best for the purpose, but I would never ask real monks to do something so against their nature. These are little more than puppets.” 

“And when you say ‘beating some humanity into them’?” Sam asked. Had they been real monks he would never have had to ask, but given that they were completely under Loki’s control, that changed things a bit. 

“I’m not having them beaten regularly if that’s what you’re asking. The monks will protect themselves and not hesitate to whack someone with a stick if they get out of line, but that’s about it. This is about stopping their violent tendencies, not instilling new ones.” 

“Okay so you create people, but not…souls?” Sam asked trying to wrap his head around things. If Loki could create souls, why wouldn’t he have created his own soulmate or something.

“Exactly. The people I create are as empty as they are obedient. They are like extensions of myself. Souls are governed by forces higher than myself,” Gabriel told him. When it seemed that nothing else was forthcoming, he grinned as he started tracing his hand over Sam’s muscles. “So any other burning questions?” 

Sam grinned back at him. “Just one.” He waited until Loki raised an eyebrow in question before he said, “What do I have to do to get another kiss?” 

Gabriel let out a quick laugh as he bent to do as the hunter asked, capturing his lips in a deep kiss. When Sam tugged impatiently on his hips, Gabriel wasted no time straddling his lap as both sets of hands wandered eagerly and the slow roll of Gabriel’s hips was met by the hunter as their naked erections slid against each other. This time Gabriel could manage to take things slow, and slow he did as his lips moved across Sam’s jaw, to nibble on his ear, before kissing down his neck. He trailed a series of sharp nips up the hunter’s throat before kissing him again, pulling Sam’s lower lip in his teeth. 

Sam didn’t seem quite so keen on the slow idea as he was pulling Gabriel down harder and trying to speed up the pace and get more friction between their leaking cocks. Gabriel smirked as he took Sam’s hands and threaded their fingers together pinning them on the bed on either side of the hunter’s head. When Sam struggled a bit, Gabriel pulled back enough to look at his face and see if it was the kind of struggle where he should stop or not. When he saw Sam’s pupils blown with lust, he grinned, holding Sam effortlessly in place and pulling a throaty moan from the hunter. Gabriel could imagine that he wasn’t used to anyone being strong enough to hold him down and he could feel the twitching of the hunter’s cock that really liked that idea. 

Gabriel leaned over and sucked Sam’s earlobe into his mouth grazing it with his teeth as he released it to whisper huskily, “That’s my good Sammy,” causing the hunter to lift his hips more insistently. Gabriel knew that he was driving Sam crazy to he decided to speed this along, just a little. He shifted himself forward, coating Sam’s cock with warm lube in the process and began to lower himself slowly on it, delighting in the burn. 

“Oh…god…” Sam moaned at the tight heat slowly engulfing him. He fought the urge to thrust up. He didn’t want to hurt his lover, after all. 

Gabriel couldn’t help the desperate, needy moan that pulled from him. He was realizing that Sam didn’t speak much during sex, which just made it that much better when he managed to pull words from the hunter. Once he was fully seated, he started rocking his hips back and forth as he bent to take one of the hunter’s nipples in his mouth, still using his hands to pin Sam’s to the bed. He enjoyed the noises coming from the hunter so much that it took him a few minutes to realize that Sam wasn’t moving. He was just lying there and taking it. Gabriel kept going for another minute, working up the strength to stop before he pulled himself off Sam’s aching length, pressing sharp nips and hard sucks to the hunter’s jaw and neck. 

Now he was moving. He was writhing beneath him, thrusting up and trying to get more. “God…Lo…Please…” he gasped struggling to free himself from the god’s firm grip. 

“You gonna stop holding back on me?” Gabriel asked impatiently with a bite to the hunter’s collarbone. 

“God…yes…just…please…” Sam gasped and this time when Gabriel started to lower himself on the hunter’s cock, Sam thrust his hips up sharply. 

“Yes!” Gabriel hissed in pleasure, dropping himself hard on the hunter as they set a hard, fast pace. Gabriel wouldn’t let them get too close to the edge just yet though. He wanted to draw this one out. It was a good long while before he felt Sam struggling against him again and this time he loosened his grip to see what it was the hunter wanted, only to find them flipped over so that Sam was leaning over Gabriel, still holding his hands, but his cock had slipped out in the transition. He released one of Gabriel’s hands to line himself back up and slam back in, before rethreading their fingers and pounding into him. Sam’s lips moved to Gabriel’s neck, biting and sucking the soft skin there as Gabriel keened beneath him. Now this was what he was talking about. He lifted his hips to meet the hunter’s hard thrusts and he could feel the coiling in his stomach as he was about to blow. “Fuck…Sam…I-I’m…coming…oh…YES!” he cried as he spilled over, completely untouched. 

Sam could feel Loki’s cock pulsing as it was sandwiched between their stomachs and could feel the warm liquid pooling there even as the exquisite tightness around him, tightened even more and he didn’t have a prayer of holding on as he slammed hard and deep one last time as he released himself inside the god with a grunting moan. Once he was spent, he managed to collapse to the side of Loki rather than putting his full weight on him and Loki curled up to his side once more. Once he had caught his breath he managed to ask, “Was that…okay?” 

“Mmm. That was more than okay Sammykins,” Gabriel said contentedly. He figured it would take a bit to get Sam over the insecurities that his inexperience created. “That was incredible. Once you stopped holding back anyway.”


	10. Chapter 10

After a little while, Gabriel managed to snap his fingers to clean them up before asking Sam, “So what do you wanna do?” 

Sam almost made a joke about more sex, but he was pretty sure he was spent for a while, and besides, he had a lot of things to wrap his head around. “I think…” he hesitated for a second not sure how Loki would take it, but barreled ahead, remembering what Loki had said about speaking his mind. “I think I need some time alone to think.”

Gabriel smiled. Yeah he would imagine so. “Sure thing. How about I give you a quick tour so you can find your way around and I’ll show you my thinking spot and you’re welcome to use it if you want.”

“Okay. Great. Thanks,” Sam said pressing one more kiss to the top of Loki’s head before rolling out of bed. “Where…um…where are my clothes?”

“You don’t need them, but if it makes you feel more comfortable to wear something, check the right side of the dresser,” Gabriel told him. He had snapped up a whole wardrobe for the hunter once he decided to stay. 

Sam couldn’t help the warmth that flowed through him when he realized that he had a side of the dresser. It made him feel like this thing with him and Loki was real. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He really wasn’t comfortable walking around naked, but he would forgo the layers. Loki too put some clothes on, presumably for Sam’s comfort, and was wearing a pair of shorts and a t-shirt as he led them out of the room and down the winding staircase. “We’ll check out the upstairs later. For now though, this is the living room, movies and video games are in the cabinets under the entertainment center.” He led them into the kitchen where there was a meal waiting on the table. “Do me a favor and eat something before you take your alone time. You haven’t eaten since you got here.”

“Yeah. Good idea,” Sam said. Now that he saw the food his stomach was growling. He quickly filled a plate as Loki told him more about the house and how and where to find the things he might need. 

Once Sam finished eating, Loki led him outside to see a beautiful spread of flowers and landscaping that wouldn’t have looked out of place in a botanical garden. “This is the garden. It’s a nice place to think, but the real prize is this way,” Loki said leading them on. On the other side of the garden there was a clear path through the thick forest and Sam followed curiously, only to have his jaw drop at the sight that met him. “This is the crystal garden. The crystal formations are designed to aid concentration from anywhere within the clearing, but the island at the center is the focal point and the best spot to go.” 

Sam just looked around in awe as Loki’s voice rang through the clearing bouncing off the crystals as he spoke. There were so many crystals of so many different colors and sizes, from the size of his fist to as tall as his shoulder. There were flat crystals on the ground like stepping stones in a walkway leading to the clearest blue lake he had ever seen. It looked like it went down forever, but he could see what looked like smooth crystals at the bottom and was that…he blinked to make sure he was seeing what he thought he was seeing. He stepped tentatively at the edge of the crystal bridge leading to the small island in the center. “This is…incredible,” he breathed out letting the crystals amplify and carry the sound. 

“Yeah. I love it here,” Gabriel said with a smile from the entrance to the clearing, greatly enjoying the look of wonder on the hunter’s face. “Well feel free to take all the time you’ll need. If I’m not in the living room when you get back, check the lounge. Just follow the path out and if you do get lost, just shoot a prayer.”

“Loki,” Sam whispered in awe as he turned before Loki got too far. When the god turned back to look at him, Sam just said, “Thank you.”

Gabriel smiled brightly at the hunter, shooting him a wink and blowing him a kiss before he turned and left, giving Sam his time alone. 

Sam walked across the bridge and sat down in the center of the island, surprised at how comfortable the ground was here. The grass was soft and not at all scratchy. The small island simply had four smaller crystals spread evenly around the island. Sam guessed that they were in the four cardinal directions. This whole place was like something out of a dream. He could see what Loki meant about it aiding concentration too, because he found his mind clearer than it had ever been. He was able to organize the massive influx of information in his head. He still needed time to think over everything though and figure out how it related to him, what he wanted, what he could do to fix things, how it happened, and come to terms with it all. He decided to just stick with one subject at a time. He would save the more difficult stuff for later, choosing to ponder the idea of soulmates for now. He wanted to get a better handle on how his mind functioned like this before he moved on to the hard stuff. 

Sam had every intention of going inside once it started getting dark, but his breath caught as the sunset was caught in the angles and rainbows of the myriad of crystals and he couldn’t even process the beauty of what he was seeing as so many colors and glows bounced off each other and through each other and the whole area was like one big light show. Once the sun was completely gone, there was still the moon, which made the crystals glow slightly. Almost like nightlights and he was easily able to follow the path out of the woods. The outside lights of the house were on helping him to make his way through the garden and when he stepped in from the patio he saw Loki lounging on the couch reading a thick book. 

Gabriel heard the door open and finished the paragraph he was reading, looking up just in time to be captured in a deep, loving kiss and he just melted into it as he marked his place in his book and set it aside. Sam took his hands and pulled him to his feet without breaking the kiss. When it did end, Sam pulled back and said, “I love you, Loki. More than life.” It was the first time he’d said those words since they slipped out this morning, and this time was deliberate and sure. 

“And I love you, Sam. With everything I am,” Gabriel said earnestly and followed along as Sam took his hand, leading him up the stairs to the bedroom before the hunter pulled him in for another kiss, sliding his hands in the back of Gabriel’s shorts working them down and Gabriel took the hint and followed suit before breaking the kiss long enough to pull Sam’s shirt over his head, followed by his own before Sam backed up to the bed and lay him down gently settling himself over top of the shorter man. 

Sam had realized when he was out there that Loki had shown him just how much he loved him in everything he’d done since that fateful auditorium and Sam hadn’t done much more than take. He had every intention of spending the remainder of the evening worshipping Loki like the god he was, starting with his body. He leaned back far enough to get a good look at the man beneath him, sandy blonde locks fanned over the cream colored pillow, lips swollen and pink from the kissing, pupils blown wide with lust and eyes darkened to a burning amber, his golden skin flushed over the lithe muscle through his body, and he just breathed out, “Beautiful,” before leaning back down and kissing him again. 

Sam pulled himself from Loki’s lips and began kissing over his jaw and neck before he continued down over his collarbones and all the way to his nipple, taking it in his mouth as Loki’s hands moved through Sam’s hair and over his shoulders reverently as the waves of pleasure ran through his body. It was so tempting to just get to the main event, but that wasn’t the goal here. Sam took his time, kissing, licking, and caressing every inch of Loki’s chest, paying particular attention to his nipples before moving lower over the god’s soft stomach as he could hear Loki’s breathing speeding up. Sam dipped his tongue in Loki’s belly button as his chin bumped against his swollen length and Loki’s hand tightened in Sam’s hair. Sam chickened out for a minute, shifting to the side to run lips and tongue over Loki’s hips, ignoring the whimper from the man, and down to his thigh before starting up the other side as he tried to work up his nerve. He’d never done this before. 

He steeled himself and moved over to press wet open mouth kisses up his length, adding a bit of suction as he did so as Loki’s breath started coming in short pants and when Sam got to the tip he swirled his tongue around, lapping up the pre-cum before wrapping his lips around and giving a hard suck to the thick purple head. Loki arched up off the bed with a moan as his hand tightened in Sam’s hair and Sam took him as deep in his mouth as he could manage at the moment and thankfully Loki didn’t push for more. He slid a hand down and slipped a finger into the god’s tight ass, looking for the spot that would drive him crazy and he knew he found it when Loki let out a keening moan and started babbling. “OhshitSamyesgodpleasemorefuck,” came out of his mouth in one long string. 

Sam decided to use the distraction to experiment and try to figure out the whole deep-throating thing so even as his finger was moving in the god, paying liberal attention to the pleasure button his mouth was working slower and slower over Loki’s cock as he went deeper and deeper, trying to open his throat and swallowing around the massive member. Loki was a mass of whimpers and moans by the time Sam had managed to take him all the way down and he slid back up swirling his tongue around the tip and over the slit again before taking him all the way back down while pressing a second finger past the tight ring of muscle and moving hard and fast against the sweet spot. Loki tensed and his hand gripped Sam’s hair tightly. “OhshityesSam...so…so close…please…just…little more…” Sam gave a series of small shallow bobs of his head as he swallowed around the cock that was hitting the back of his throat, not stopping in the relentless assault of his fingers. “OhholyshitfuckgodyesyesYES!” he cried out holding Sam firmly in place as his cum hit the hunter’s throat causing him to choke a little before he adjusted and started to swallow. 

Sam was feeling very pleased with himself, but he wasn’t done yet. He swallowed every drop the god spilled before slowly pulling off, tongue still dancing over all the most sensitive spots and sliding a third finger into his ass as he quickly kissed a line back up his stomach and chest to his lips where he kissed him deep and slow, letting him taste himself in Sam’s mouth, pulling another moan from him. He could feel the god hardening again already against Sam’s severely neglected and aching cock. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. He slowly pulled out of the kiss and nudged Loki to turn over and once he had his knees under him, Sam lined himself up and pressed in slowly, reaching up to put his hands over Loki’s linking their fingers together as he leaned down, pressing feather light kisses to the god’s neck and shoulders. “I love you, Loki,” he whispered worshipfully as he slid slowly in and out, using his tongue to clean the drops of sweat from the god’s neck. “You are my everything,” he whispered, forcing himself to keep his slow pace. He would never forget the power he had felt earlier when Loki had cum without being touched and he wanted so badly to do that again, but he knew he had to go slow and give him a chance to recover from the last time he came. 

More foreplay would have been better, but he needed so badly to be inside Loki, so he would just have to take it slow now that he was in. It took a few minutes for him to get the angle right but the sharp intake of breath that was almost a whimper and the desperate press of his hips told him he got it right and then he was slowly and deliberately massaging the god’s prostate as he drove into him slowly, pulling all the way out before sliding back in and soon Loki was pressing his hips back needfully, moaning low with every press of his hips trying to speed up the pace. Sam quickly figured out that Loki loved feeling his lips and teeth and tongue trailing along his shoulder blades and used that to drive him to new heights as he couldn’t help but pick up the pace. He tried to wait until Loki came. He really did, but he finally spilled over with a sharp bite to Loki’s back. 

When Sam figured out how sensitive his shoulder blades were, Gabriel had to quickly tamp down his grace before his wings manifested, and as Sam continued to pay attention to them, he found himself getting closer and closer to the edge. He just hoped he’d be able to hold his wings in when he came. That sharp bite right where the wing joint would be as Sam blew inside him was very nearly Gabriel’s undoing as he came harder than he ever had before and just barely kept his wings from bursting forth. Once he was spent he collapsed face first on the bed and felt Sam settle beside him. He would very much like to clean up the wet sticky mess he was lying in, but his hands were shaking too badly to snap. He turned his head so that he was facing Sam who was just raising a hand to brush his sweat-matted hair out of his face while smiling softly at him. “Holy hell, Sam. Were you possessed by some kind of super sex god out there or something?” he joked. 

Sam laughed and was very pleased with himself for what he’d managed to do here once he let himself go.


	11. Chapter 11

Over the course of the next few months, they settled into a routine of sorts. Well as much as Loki could do routine that is. The mornings (sometimes stretching into several days) they spent together, either relaxing in front of the tv or in the lounge or having prank wars, which Sam always lost of course, but had no less fun with. Usually though, they were off seeing the world or travelling through time. They had visited the library of Alexandria, the Pyramids as they were being built, spent a few days in a Mayan village, visited ancient Greek markets, partied with Caligula, among other things. After lunch, Sam would go out to the crystal garden and have some alone time before coming back in after the sun went down to have dinner and they would spend the evening wrapped up in each other until Sam fell asleep. 

Gabriel had spent the first few nights while Sam was sleeping down in the crystal garden himself. He had also been through a lot of changes in his life recently, and while he was happy with the changes overall, they did case a whole lot of trouble for him. He never let Sam see his inner turmoil though. He knew the hunter would either take it as a rejection, or press him for answers he wasn’t ready to give yet. After the first few nights, he spent most nights with Sam, snuggled into the hunter’s arms as he slept, but he still spent one night a week in the crystal garden. 

Gabriel noticed Sam gravitating more towards the library after lunch, only going out a few days a week and gradually it tapered off to where he wasn’t going out there at all. He knew that Sam had come to terms with everything as best he could and now he was just trying to put off the inevitable. He let it go for a few more weeks before he told the hunter one morning, “So you ready to talk about your destiny now?” 

“You said before I went back. Does that mean I have to go back now?” Sam asked alarmed. 

“No. Not at all. I told you, as long as you want and I meant it. But you have dealt with everything you needed to deal with. Now you’re just hiding from it, and that’s okay. I’ve spent most of my life hiding from things so I’m hardly going to judge you for it, but I know you. You won’t want to hide forever and when you’re ready to get back out there, you won’t want to wait for anything so I figure we’ll get all this out of the way first, that way when you’re ready to go we can just go.”

Sam looked down sheepishly. He knew he was hiding. He’d gotten as far as he could by analyzing it, but that didn’t mean he wanted to face it. Being called out for it so bluntly wasn’t easy, but at least Loki wasn’t judging him for it. It did give him a new determination to stop hiding…and soon. First he would learn about his destiny though. “Okay. That makes sense. So what is this big destiny I’m supposed to have then?” 

“I don’t know how to do this except to just come out and say it so here goes…you and your brother are supposed to herald in the Judeo-Christian apocalypse,” he said and waited for the explosion. 

There was silence for one beat…two beats…three beats... “We’re WHAT!?”

Gabriel waited a moment to see if there would be any more to that but when there wasn’t he started to explain. “So the way it’s supposed to work is they get the elder brother to sell his soul and go to hell. They break him and force him to break the first seal. Then he gets pulled out of hell by the angels…”

“He’s getting out?!” 

“Yes. He will be getting out. There’s no telling how long he will be there though. How long it will take him to break and do what they want…”

“How does he break the seal? What exactly do they want him to do?” Sam asked. 

“Torture innocent souls,” Gabriel said sadly, knowing without looking that all the color had drained from Sam’s face. 

Sam gulped a few times as he tried to keep his reactions under control. Dean had trouble torturing demons and monsters, but souls? Innocent souls at that? He couldn’t live with that. Even if he came back after that, he would never be the same. “Dean can hold up under a lot of torture,” Sam pointed out. 

“I’m sure. He strikes me as that type. But he’s never been through hell’s torture. Not to mention that time works differently there. For every month that passes on earth, ten years pass in hell,” Gabriel said gently, rubbing Sam’s back as he struggled to breathe right. This wasn’t the way he planned for this to go. He should have expected that they would spend more time than he wanted to on Dean’s fate. There was something else he wasn’t expecting either…

“So you knew he was going to sell his soul? And you didn’t stop him? You didn’t tell me so I could stop him? You just let it happen?!” Sam rounded on him angrily. 

“Hey now. I tried. I tried to make nice back in Ohio so he would know he could come to me instead of a demon and he shot me down. I tried to bring you back to life before he took the plunge, but it took too long to retrieve your soul. I beat myself up for a long while for taking the time to talk to you before asking where your body was, but it wouldn’t have mattered. It still would have taken time to bring you back and then we would have had to find Dean so it would have been too late anyway. I tried, Sam.” 

“Not hard enough,” Sam snapped. “You could have told me. I could have stopped him, made him promise never to do that, done something…” 

“And how long do you think that promise would have held up? And then you would have had the guilt of knowing that you failed to stop it on top of everything else. You didn’t need that,” Gabriel told him. 

“Then you could have stopped it,” Sam snapped not willing to give up his anger just yet. 

“You’re the one that didn’t want him to know I survived. What more did you expect me to do? Not to mention getting involved in this is practically a death sentence if anyone finds out,” Gabriel said impatiently. 

“Oh so this is my fault then?!” Sam yelled. 

“No. But it’s not mine either,” Gabriel said as evenly as he could manage, losing the battle not to lose his temper. “Blame Azazel for starting this mess, blame Jake for killing you, blame your brother for making the deal to begin with, but don’t you dare blame me.”

The next thing Gabriel knew the door was slamming and Sam was storming out. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths to try and reign himself in. Well that blew up rather more spectacularly than he had imagined. He knew Sam would have to come back and talk to him eventually. It wasn’t like he had another ride out of this little pocket dimension. Hopefully the next talk would go better than this one. He sighed and snapped up his current book, not being in the mood for television, and started to read while he waited.


	12. Chapter 12

Sam stormed around the grounds for a few hours before his feet took him to the crystal garden. He sighed as he gave in and headed out to the center island to think about all this and he soon realized that this place wasn’t magic after all. It did help him concentrate usually, but when he was already so worked up it was a lot more difficult. His mind kept going in circles of anger and recrimination and guilt for a long time. He noticed the sun set, but he didn’t leave. Not even when the sun rose the next morning, did he leave. He drank from the pond, as he often had when he’d gotten thirsty out here, but he had no interest in food at the moment. It wasn’t until mid-day two days after he arrived that he finally found peace. By the time he had processed everything and realized that it wasn’t Loki’s fault; that he had only just tried to help, he realized that they had just had their first fight and he was suddenly very nervous about going back. He remembered what Loki had said back in the beginning about throwing around baseless accusations and realized that was exactly what he had done. 

Once he had found out they were soulmates he had pushed the guy away, refused to call him or talk to him for months while he tried to ‘figure things out’. When would he have told him? By the time he saw him again it was already too late. Loki had given everything for him. Done more than he could ever have asked anyone, and Sam had just thrown it back in his face. Yeah, maybe in hindsight, he could have done more, but so could Sam. If Sam had ever called him, they might have had this conversation in time. If Sam had prayed when he got in over his head, he may never have died in the first place. Loki had told him to pray if he was in trouble. How would he have known that Sam wouldn’t? He would have been caught off guard just as much as Sam was. He spent a little more time out there trying to figure out what to say; how to begin healing this breech, and it wasn’t until the sun set again that he realized there was no easy answer. He would just have to face it. 

Gabriel’s optimism had quickly faded when Sam didn’t come back that night. The longer it took Sam to come back the worse he felt. He just knew that everything was over. He had lost Sam for good. Sam would come back…he had to eventually, but it would probably be just to ask to go back to his life and never see Gabriel again. This was why he had always run away from feelings in the first place. He thought this one would be different though. This was his soulmate. This was the one person made just for him. This one could work. How wrong he was. He couldn’t even run now. He couldn’t leave Sam stranded here, and he wasn’t about to just throw him back into his life without any warning, so he was stuck here in this house, where everything reminded him of Sam. Even the damn ceiling fan reminded him of the time Sam was stretching and caught his fingers in it. This had been their home for almost six months, and now it was over. 

Being unable to run physically didn’t mean he couldn’t find a way. When Sam found him almost three days after he had left, Gabriel was sprawled on the bar, surrounded by empty bottles, and about one drink shy of completely plastered. As it was, he was still able to form intelligible words, if only barely. “I guess you want me to send you back now,” he slurred when he heard the door open. 

“No,” he heard a firm voice say as footsteps headed towards him. He couldn’t even be bothered to defend himself against anything the hunter might do, but he couldn’t stop his flinch as Sam’s hand made contact, but not to hit him. To run a hand gently through his hair. “I’m sorry, Lo,” Sam said. “I shouldn’t have blamed you. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you. I get why you didn’t tell me and I know I never even gave you a chance to. I was just hurt and scared and upset, and it’s no excuse. You’ve only ever tried to help. You’ve done everything for me and you deserve so much more than this. I’m so sorry.” Sam couldn’t keep the tears away by the end of that. Seeing the state that Loki was in; seeing what he had driven his lover, his soulmate, to…it was killing him. Loki did deserve better. Better than him, better than anything. “I…I understand if you don’t…don’t want me anymore...but I’m sorry.”

As Sam started to pull his hand away, Loki grabbed it, holding it against his face as he turned to press a kiss to the palm. “Always, Samshine. Always love you. Always want you. No matter what,” he said as firmly as he could manage given his drunken state. Sam smiled sadly, and stepped closer to kiss him softly, before he bent down and picked him up, bridal style. “Hey! What…”

“Let’s get you to bed, Lo. You need to sleep it off, and I just need to hold you for a while,” Sam told him. 

“I can walk,” he grumbled.

“I don’t care,” Sam replied as they ascended the stairs. It seemed that Sam was right, because no sooner than they got into bed, Loki was curled up to the hunter’s side snoring and Sam couldn’t help but chuckle. He’d never seen Loki sleep before and he couldn’t deny how cute it was. He pulled Loki close and sighed. He couldn’t believe how close he’d come to losing this. Of course, there was still a chance that Loki would wake up, sober, and kick him out, but he chose to have hope. He, more than most, knew that what came out when you were drunk was more often than not the uncensored truth. He was prepared to grovel if necessary though. Whatever it took to fix this. He didn’t even notice or care that he hadn’t eaten anything in almost three days. All that mattered right now was the god in his arms. Loki was always so full of life and personality that he seemed just fill up a room, but the fact that he seemed so small and vulnerable right now just highlighted the fact that Sam had screwed up…badly…and heightened his desire to do anything possible to fix it. 

When Sam woke the next morning it was to a groan. His arms instinctively tightened around Loki as he remembered what landed them in this situation. “You okay, Lo?” he whispered. 

“Not so loud,” Gabriel groaned. It took him a few minutes to remember what happened last night…and over the past few days. It had been a very long time since he’d drank enough to have a hangover. In fact, this was only the third time it had ever happened. The first had been after he left home. The second when he and Kali split. He was very glad that he had taken in as much pagan as he had over the years because it meant a sure-fire, reasonably quick, hangover cure. He snapped up a large ice cream sundae topped with candy, hot fudge, carmel, and whipped cream. He was as much trickster as archangel these days, so the sugar infusion would kick start his healing.

Sam just blinked at the sight of the sundae almost as big as Loki was, nearly hiding the god from view, as he wondered whether it was safe to speak yet. When Loki just looked at him and grunted before handing him a spoon, he figured silence was his friend for the moment and his three day long fast became very evident as he actually ate the ice cream. He generally didn’t mind ice cream per se, but Loki’s ice cream was a sugar coma waiting to happen. Give him a small bowl of ice cream, maybe with a dab of chocolate syrup if he was in a weird mood, and he was good. Sam ate a few bites before even his hunger couldn’t override the sugar explosion anymore and he just sat back and watched Loki eat. After a minute he reached out his hand and brushed a lock of hair out of Loki’s eyes as he smiled at him. 

Gabriel was halfway finished with his giant ice cream before his head was clear enough to think of Sam beyond the basic ‘he’s still here’ thought. He turned to look at the hunter who was propped on his elbow watching him with a sappy look on his face and he couldn’t help but grin before he asked, “Did you eat anything when you got back last night?” He knew there was nothing to eat out there. Not even berries or fruit. 

“I was more worried about you and fixing things with us to bother eating,” Sam said honestly.

Gabriel rolled his eyes and then winced because that still hurt a little. He snapped his fingers again and Sam had a large tray over his lap filled with all his favorite breakfast foods. “Next time, please eat,” Gabriel said softly. “At least take better care of yourself, even when you’re mad at me.”

“Next time?” Sam asked incredulously. 

“What you think we’re never going to fight again?” Gabriel asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yeah that’s probably an unreasonable hope,” Sam said with a slight chuckle. “But I’ll tell you what. I’ll take better care of myself if you take better care of yourself, Mr. drinking a whole liquor store.”

“Touché,” Gabriel admitted. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”


	13. Chapter 13

After breakfast, and Loki’s monstrosity of course, Sam asked, “You feeling better now?”

“Yep. Right as rain,” Gabriel chirped. 

“Good. Because I missed you,” Sam said pulling Loki in for a kiss and shifting the god on top of him. 

Gabriel grinned. “How about we move this to the shower?” he asked waggling his eyebrows. 

Sam couldn’t help but laugh. Now that he thought about it he probably did smell pretty bad. He didn’t care. As long as he got Loki, it didn’t matter where it was. He let the god lead him to the bathroom. He had learned over the last few months that while Loki could just snap his fingers and clean him up, he enjoyed washing Sam, and it never failed to make Sam feel cherished when he did. Part of him wanted to refuse; to tell Loki that he didn’t deserve this. Not now. Not after everything that had just happened, but the other part of him was just overjoyed that things were going back to normal. There were no hard feelings or residual anger. His apology had been accepted and it was over with. Besides, it made Loki so happy to take care of him, so Sam just smiled and allowed it. 

Gabriel undressed his hunter slowly, taking plenty of time to kiss and caress the revealed skin before he just shucked out of his clothes and stepped into the shower pulling Sam along with him. He positioned the hunter under the spray as he ran his fingers through Sam’s hair wetting it down thoroughly, before he grabbed the shampoo and started massaging it in slowly. Sam’s hands were running through Gabriel’s hair and over his face and neck as he whispered loving endearments and stole kisses while his hair was being washed. 

Once Loki started washing his body, Sam moved his hands to Loki’s body. He hadn’t wanted to get them too worked up too soon. He’d had a lot of practice at how best to do this. While Loki washed Sam’s chest and stomach and sides, Sam’s hands wandered over Loki’s, tracing the lean muscle, stopping to pinch and flick his nipples. Loki stepped closer, pressing himself against Sam to wash the hunter’s back and Sam turned his attention to Loki’s back. He had learned that while the god’s whole shoulder blade area was sensitive, there were six spots that were even more so and drove him insane. One at the top of the shoulderblade, one at the bottom and one about halfway down his back on either side about an inch off his spine. 

Sam immediately pressed his fingers in and started massaging those spots as he kissed and nipped over Loki’s neck and Loki shuddered against him and was soon trembling with need. He never got to do that for too long though and sure enough, Loki fell to his knees and took Sam’s now clean cock in his mouth causing the hunter to moan as Loki took him all the way down and he could feel the head of his cock hit the back of the god’s throat. Sam could still reach the uppermost spots on his back though from this angle and one hand wrapped in Loki’s hair as the other massaged his shoulder blades while Loki gave him one of his most incredible blow jobs ever. 

When Loki’s hand slid between his legs and a wet finger entered him, Sam fell back against the shower wall, unable to keep his balance as the waves of pleasure rushed through him. Loki quickly found the pleasure button and Sam’s hand tightened in Loki’s hair as his moans reached a new pace and by the time a second finger was pressing into him, Sam was crying out his orgasm as Loki swallowed every drop. Once he was spent, Sam turned and braced himself on the wall as Loki continued opening him up. 

Gabriel couldn’t deny that having Sam’s hands on his hidden wing joints felt amazing, his mouth even more so, and he loved every minute of it. He just couldn’t take too much or it threatened his careful control over the secret appendages. There had been more than a few close calls already, so if he was still in a position where he could reassert control he would do so. He finished opening Sam up quickly and slid himself inside the hunter, using nothing but the water of the shower as lubricant, and Sam immediately pressed his hips back looking for more with a low moan. Gabriel tangled a hand in Sam’s hair, pulling his head back as he pressed sharp bites and hard sucks to the hunter’s neck, leaving purpling bruises in his wake as the other hand reached around and stroked Sam’s cock now that he was hard again, in time with his rapid thrusts. It had been a few days after all. There was no way he was going to be able to draw this out much longer. He angled every thrust just right to hit the sweet spot, knowing Sam would need that if he had any hope of coming again so soon, but he couldn’t hold himself back anymore. 

Sam could feel as Loki got close and then as he blew, filling Sam’s ass with his cum, but Sam wasn’t quite there yet. “God…Lo…Don’t…don’t stop…please…so…so close.”

Gabriel kept pushing into the hunter as his hand picked up the pace on Sam’s cock, trying to push him over the edge before he was too soft. It didn’t take long though before Sam was spilling over, Loki’s name falling from his lips. Gabriel pressed a soft lingering kiss to the back of the hunter’s shoulder as he stroked him through it before turning him around and kissing him deeply. “I love you, my Sammy,” he whispered.

“I love you too, Loki. Forever. I’m sorry,” Sam whispered back. Loki just answered his apology with a kiss that left no doubt that he was completely forgiven. They stood there, under the spray of never-ending hot water, just enjoying the dance of their lips and the feel of their bodies pressed together for a good long while and when they finally stepped out, their fingers and toes were shriveled like raisins. 

Once they were dressed and sitting on the couch downstairs, Sam turned to him and said, “So we got a little distracted from the whole destiny talk. Dean breaks the first seal then gets resurrected and then what?” 

Gabriel sighed. Seemed their make up time was over. He tamped down his disappointment though. They’d been happy and relaxed in paradise for six months now. It was time to get down to business. “Next the first demon makes a little trip topside and starts popping seals like candy, while the angels manipulate your brother and preferably you to help save them, though they know it’s futile. It’s just a cover for their real goal because they are working just as hard to start this as the demons are.” 

“Wait…angels?” Sam asked incredulously. He had completely missed that before with the revelation that his brother would be saved. 

“You realize if you interrupt me after every sentence we’ll never get anywhere right?” Gabriel asked amusedly. 

“Right. Sorry,” Sam said sheepishly. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers handing Sam a notebook and pen. “Ask your questions after I’m done,” he said indulgently before continuing. “So angels and demons are both working towards the apocalypse, not that they will admit that to you. You were to go along with the angels thinking they were trying to stop it until it was too late. In the meantime, Lilith (the first demon),” he added as an aside, “plants an agent close to you to get you worked up into a vengeful tear once Dean is gone and get you hooked on demon blood, until the right time when she will lead you to Lilith who’s death will break the last seal releasing Lucifer who is to take you as a vessel while Michael takes your brother as a vessel, they fight, destroying most if not all of the world and the victor remakes the earth in his desired image. That’s the way it’s supposed to go down anyway. Obviously, things have changed now, so go ahead. Ask your questions.”

“Ok first…angels?”

“One word does not a question make, dear Samsquatch,” Gabriel chuckled. 

“You know what I mean,” Sam grumbled half-heartedly as his lips twitched in an effort not to smile. 

“Yes. Angels. They don’t get down here much, but with the whole end of days thing ramping up they’ll need to stay close. And put the chess pieces where they want them,” Gabriel told him. 

“How would the demon plant an agent close to me? I would never work with a demon,” Sam insisted. 

“If she told you that she defected from hell to follow you; if she told you she could get your brother out of his deal; if she tugged on your heartstrings just right, you might not trust her, but you might be willing to use her for your own ends,” Gabriel said. 

“You sure know a lot about how they are going to go about things,” Sam asked with only a little suspicion. He did trust Loki, after all, but his observation was still valid. 

“I’ve been around a long time kiddo. I know how those involved think. Know the players, know the game. The broad strokes are outlined in prophecy which they are all following, so it’s just a matter of figuring out the minutiae based on the personalities of those involved. The only question is heaven’s side. I’m not sure if Michael or Raphael are pulling the strings. They are the remaining archangels and Michael is technically in charge, but it would depend on how much of the detail he leaves in Raphael’s hands.”

“The ‘remaining’ archangels?” Sam asked. 

Gabriel winced. He really didn’t want to go there. “That’s a long story for another time maybe.”

“Okay. Sure. Just, one thing?” Sam asked hopefully. “Can you at least tell me what happened to Gabriel?” 

Gabriel was very glad he wasn’t eating or drinking anything or he would have choked. As it was it took every ounce of will he had to keep his composure as he asked, “Why?” 

“It’s just…he was always my favorite, you know. I prayed to him a lot. The archangel of justice and mercy. A pastor we used to stay with as kids even gave me a St. Gabriel medallion once and I never took it off until Dad threw it away.” 

Gabriel knew that Sam wouldn’t let it drop until he had an answer so he said, trying not to let his discomfort show, “No one knows where he is. Most think he’s dead.” He then quickly changed the subject. “but basically it’s a matter of know the players, know the game.” 

Sam could tell that the subject was closed, and wondered why Loki was so tight-lipped about it, but he was right. They were getting side-tracked. The more Sam knew about the manipulations coming at him the more prepared he could be. “So demon blood?” 

“Highly addictive and mind-altering. Gives you access to the powers of the demons at the price of your own soul. It slowly eats away at your soul until you become little more than a demon yourself, and once you start, there’s no going back. No human has ever survived the withdrawal process.”

“But I was fed demon blood…”

“That was only a few drops, and didn’t do any damage, but it will make you more susceptible to the addictive properties should you ever have more,” Gabriel assured him. 

“Right okay. Not that demon blood was ever on my agenda…just…gross,” Sam shuddered. 

“So I’m taking vengeance against Lilith…why?” Sam asked. 

“She’s the head demon and the one who holds Dean’s contract. And no, killing her won’t cancel it. It will just fall to the next in line and then the next and so on.”

“So I’m supposed to be Lucifer’s vessel? And Dean is supposed to be Michael’s? Is that like possession or something? Can angels possess people?” 

“Yes, Yes, Yes, and Yes,” Gabriel ticked off the answers chuckling at the hunter’s impatient look. “You and Dean are brothers. Directly descended from the first brothers, Cain on your mother’s side and Abel on your father’s. That’s why it’s you two. Dean as the older brother is destined for Michael, you, the younger brother, are destined for Lucifer. Angels, with few exceptions, have to ‘possess’ people to interact here on earth but unlike demons they have to have permission, another reason to keep you high on demon blood, so you wouldn’t realize what you were saying yes to and hopefully be too corrupted by that point to care.”

“This is…insane…” Sam said shaking his head. 

“Yeah, but if you think I’m ever going to let any of this happen you’re nuts,” Gabriel said with a grin. 

“So what’s the plan?” Sam asked putting his game face on. 

“Uh-uh. Not right now. Now you need to process. Then you can help me refine my plans.”

“I get a say?” Sam asked. He figured that Loki had so much time to think and plan and he was a god. Why would he want input from a human on something so important?

“Of course you do, Sammykins. You’re smart and inventive and have a way of looking at things that I lack, not to mention you’re a part of it. I would never make decisions for you without your input,” Gabriel said rolling his eyes as though it should be obvious. “First, lunch,” he said snapping up a meal. He knew that Sam would be headed out to the crystal garden after lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They'll be getting back to Dean soon. Don't worry.


	14. Chapter 14

They went back to the original schedule after that. Mornings together, afternoons with Sam in the crystal garden, and evenings wrapped up in each other. That lasted a few days while Sam processed everything new that he had learned. He was really enjoying the fact that he could take his time and really consider things rather than being thrust from one situation to the next making snap decisions on the fly. He knew he would still need to do that when he was back out in the real world, but until then, he would take advantage of his situation and really think things through. Once he had a good handle on everything he waited until they got back from pranking Alexander the Great before he turned to Loki over lunch and said, “Okay so the way I see it the first thing we should decide is how much, if anything, to tell Dean and when.”

“I agree. Are you okay with telling him any of this though? It would be difficult to explain without our relationship coming to light,” Gabriel pointed out. 

“This is a little bigger than his aversion to monsters that aren’t really monsters,” Sam said firmly. He wouldn’t deny that he was still more than a little freaked out by the idea. He had no idea how Dean would react and he would quite possibly hate Sam forever for it. The last six months here, though, had shown him that he could live without his brother. Well as long as he knew that his brother was out there alive somewhere and not being torn apart by demons in hell, that is. 

“I agree, but suggestion?” Gabriel started tentatively. As much as he wanted to stop hiding his relationship with Sam, this had to be said. When Sam motioned for him to continue he said, “We probably shouldn’t tell him anything until he gets back from hell. Wait, just hear me out. If he goes spilling things under torture…if he even lets on that he knows he’s getting out…then our element of surprise goes right out the window and everyone knows there is a major player working against them.”

Sam considered that for a moment. He hated the idea of letting his brother go to hell not knowing that he would get back out, but Loki made a valid point. Sam took this opportunity to bring up another idea he had to get Dean out of it though. “I was thinking, what if we pulled him here or to another dimension outside of time. Then he wouldn’t have to go to hell at all,” he suggested. 

“That is an idea, but there are a few problems with that. All it could do is buy him time. He would eventually die, even if it were of old age, and then we would be right back where we are now. He would break the seal, then be resurrected, and everything would get back on track, and then, same reason we shouldn’t tell him now, they would know that I’m working against them, not to mention he would have a lifetime of incriminating information to spill. Plus, do you really think your brother would accept being tucked away in a nice safe bubble the rest of his life? One foot back into the real world, at any point in time, would have the hellhounds right on his ass. If that’s the way you want to play it, I’ll back you, but I think it would be better to just get hell over with and then deal with the fallout.” 

Sam sighed. “No. You’re right. I hate it, but you’re right. Postponing it will do more harm than good. But I say once he’s back we tell him everything.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do. That means we should save the planning until after that. We can figure out how we’re going to handle the resurrection later on, and there isn’t really much to do until things kick off anyway,” Gabriel told him. 

“Yeah. Okay. You’ll be around though…once I’m back out there right?” Sam asked hopefully. 

“You bet. I’ll be invisible if anyone else is around, of course I’m not gonna be with you every second, but if you need me or just have some alone time and want to hang out, I’m only a prayer away. That mean you wanna go back now?” 

“In the morning. Let’s spend the rest of today and tonight together,” Sam said, pulling his lover close. 

Gabriel was good with that, except… “Remember it was night when we came here.”

“Oh yeah. Probably wouldn’t be a good idea to go in the morning. I would like to be somewhat refreshed though so maybe tomorrow afternoon?” Sam suggested getting a nod from Loki. “You don’t happen to remember where I was when you pulled me out do you?”

“You were still in the graveyard with your brother, he had just told you about his deal and you were promising to fix it,” Gabriel told him. 

Sam sighed. “A promise I have to break,” he said sadly. Gabriel saw no point in beating a dead horse so he didn’t respond and just pulled Sam in for a soothing kiss. “The hell gate. They aren’t going to give up on that so easy. Is there anything you can do to make sure it stays closed?” 

“I can’t put my own lock on it. It would draw too much attention. I can make sure the only available key stays hidden though,” Gabriel suggested, knowing that Sam wouldn’t like that idea.

“The colt,” Sam nodded understanding what he meant. “It’s the only thing we have that will kill demons,” he protested. 

“I can see about getting you something else that will do the job. I have plenty of things that will work really. The trick is getting them to you without being suspicious,” Gabriel told him. Angel blades were the easiest, but when the angels showed up and the hunters were wielding angel blades that would be one hell of a red flag. Not to mention how Sam would explain it to Dean. There were enchanted blades though. The only one currently in existence was in the hands of the demons, hence why he helped Colt build the gun in the first place, but he could enchant a couple more. Probably.

“Okay, but we keep it until we’re away from that area. We may need it to get out,” Sam told him. 

“Fair enough,” Gabriel agreed. 

They spent the remainder of the day and most of the next one enjoying the last of their time in paradise before they went back to the real world. Sam was a little nervous about going back. It was easy to ignore your problems when you didn’t have to face them but he was about to go back and have all of it thrown back in his face every day. He remembered what Loki had said about maybe he could find a way to keep Dean out of hell, so he would keep trying. It would just require thinking outside the box. He could do that. 

Mid-afternoon the next day, Sam pulled Loki to him and kissed him deeply. He knew they would see each other out there, and it wasn’t really goodbye, but it felt like it. Out there they would have to hide and steal time where they could. Only the fact that he knew they could come back here anytime gave him the strength to leave. He didn’t intend to make a habit of it though. Not for long periods. Maybe for a night or two though. 

“I’ll stay close until you’re out of there and safe. I’ll help where I can without drawing too much attention,” Gabriel told him. He kissed him one last time. “Be careful,” he whispered.

Sam nodded that he was ready and the next thing he knew he was standing in front of Dean again. “You can’t fix it, Sam. You can’t even try. Part of the deal was if I try to get out of it, you die.”

“So wait…if you try to get out of the deal then it’s cancelled?” Sam asked hopefully. He could get the deal cancelled and then Loki could bring him back like should have happened in the first place. 

“No. My part of the deal will still come due. Just the part where they bring you back is cancelled,” Dean told him and Sam visibly deflated. So much for that idea. 

“Okay, well, you can’t stop me thinking about it. I promise I won’t do anything stupid though,” Sam assured him. 

“Sam…” Dean said wearily. 

“That’s the best you’re going to get, so deal with it. Jesus, Dean. You know how you felt when Dad made a deal for you and then you go and do it to me and just expect me to accept it?” It felt good to get that off his chest after six months stewing. 

“Fine. Think all you want, but don’t do anything,” Dean snapped. He couldn’t help but be bitter. After everything he had done to save Sam, he could at least be a little grateful.


	15. Chapter 15

“Look. We’ve got the colt, and we know yellow-eyes is nearby somewhere waiting for his little buddies to show up. Let’s just finish this and then deal with everything else later, yeah?” Dean asked impatiently. 

“Okay. Fine. Which way did Jake come from?” Sam asked unable to remember after so long. Dean pointed and they started heading that direction. They spotted him leaning against a car on the other side of the tracks. The open door blocked their shot though so they tried to work their way around to a position to get a shot without having to cross the tracks and leave themselves open for retaliation. 

Yellow-eyes sensed them coming though. “Dean, Sam, it seems Jake wasn’t made of the right stuff after all. I suppose the position is back open Sam if you want it?” he chuckled making sure they didn’t have a clean shot without crossing the tracks. He knew there was only one bullet left and they wouldn’t risk wasting it. 

Seeing that the element of surprise was out, Sam stepped out, still staying on the right side of the tracks, trying to give Dean a distraction he could work with. “Like I would ever work with a demon,” he scoffed. 

“Well you were resurrected by one,” Azazel taunted. “Who says you came back…well…right?” He laughed. “You hear that Dean? How sure are you that your brother is still your brother? It is rather easy to…misplace a piece…after all.”

Gabriel had heard enough. He knew the demon was just trying to mess with their heads, but he didn’t want anyone putting those kinds of ideas into his Sam’s head. The next thing anyone knew a heavy crack of lightning struck the car and the resulting charge tossed the demon a few feet away and Dean didn’t hesitate to put a bullet between his eyes as soon as he hit the ground. Sam did his best not to laugh as he muttered, “Okay, THOR.” The ringing laughter echoing in his head told him that Loki had heard him. 

Sam sighed sadly when he noticed Dean coming back through the woods looking at him appraisingly, like something was wrong with him. It seemed the demon really had gotten into his head. “I’m fine, Dean. A hundred percent me. I swear,” he assured his brother. He would check with Loki to be certain later, but he was sure the god would have told him if something was wrong, or fixed anything that was wrong anyway. He knew that ‘losing’ the colt wouldn’t help his case any though, so he let Dean hold onto it and deliberately went into the motel room before he stashed it anywhere, throwing a “make sure you hide it good,” over his shoulder knowing that Loki could find it wherever. He was sure that he would still be subject to questions over its disappearance, but he could honestly say that he didn’t even know where Dean had put it. 

Dean narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Sam’s back before hiding it somewhere he knew Sam would never look. Under the front passenger side wheel well. Sam had been acting just a little bit off since the graveyard and the demon’s words were hitting him a little harder than he wanted them to. He couldn’t quite put his finger on what was different beyond the fact that he was more at ease, which wasn’t really like Sam at all. He would have to watch carefully. He headed inside to finally be able to relax a little bit. 

He found Sam spread out on his bed watching television, and he plopped onto his own and of course started an argument about what they would watch. After a few minutes Sam just rolled his eyes and threw him the remote. It was about an hour later before Sam heard a voice in his head, “Colt is gone. Ask your brother for it while he’s had you in his sight the whole time.” Sam had to admit it was a good idea. He could hardly be blamed if he had been right next to his brother the whole time. He had hoped to have an easy night without any explosions of temper though, but oh well. 

“You know…I was thinking…We might want to keep the colt close until we find a safer place to stash it,” he suggested. 

“It’s safe,” Dean said not taking his eyes off the television. 

“I’m sure it is…just…maybe at least throw a devil’s trap or something around it?” 

“Fine,” Dean sighed. Sam had a point. It couldn’t hurt. When Dean got up and headed out the door, Sam braced himself for the explosion to come. Sure enough… “SAM!” He got up and ran out the door, just as he would have if he didn’t know what was going on. This would take a little acting but he was going to have to get used to that. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked skidding to a stop out the door. 

“Where is it?!” he asked accusingly. 

“Where is what? The colt? Don’t tell me you lost the colt!?” Sam countered. 

“I didn’t lose anything!” Dean said defensively. “What did you do with it?” 

“I’ve been with you the whole time! How could I have done something with it?” Sam asked annoyed. “WHY would I have done something with it?” 

“I…I don’t…son of a bitch!” Dean exclaimed running a hand through his hair as he paced for a minute. “You think the demons got it?” 

“I hope not,” Sam said honestly. 

“We need to put a guard on the hell gate,” Dean said pulling his hair out. After everything they were still faced with the prospect of the hell gate opening. 

“Maybe not,” Sam said thoughtfully. They hadn’t considered this aspect when Loki stole the colt, but he was working out a plan. “The demons can’t get there themselves. They would have to send a human to do it, right?” He watched as Dean settled down and looked at him curiously. “We just have to make the lock unusable by a human.”

“How are we gonna do that?” Dean asked impatiently. 

“I don’t know. How about we melt down some plastic and then fill the hole. That way the gun can’t go in?” he suggested. 

“That’s…brilliant!” Dean said. “They would have to take the whole lock apart to get it all out and since it’s impenetrable without the key, no one would be able to use it.”

Sam couldn’t help but be pleased with himself. He had found a way to take the gate out of commission anyway. It would still be better if the key were lost anyway, just in case, as long as Loki could get them something else to kill demons. The more layers of protection the better. 

It was a couple weeks before Loki managed to come through. They weren’t sure if they were hunting the demons or the demons were hunting them, but there were three of them and they were cornered. Sam was just getting choked out when a knife came through the demon’s neck and it glowed orange and died, just like yellow-eyes had when he was shot with the colt. The large older man wielding the knife started rattling off an exorcism for the other two demons, which Sam and Dean joined in on since two demons couldn’t keep all three of them shut up once. “What is that?” Sam asked gesturing to the knife he was still holding. 

“Demon killing knife,” the guy grunted. 

“Where did you get it?” Dean asked in awe. “That would really come in handy.”

“Enchanted it. Don’t like using it. Kills the body too, but that one was already dead,” he said gruffly pointing at the one he’d skewered and they could see the scar on his temple that looked like a healed bullet wound. 

“You can enchant them? You think maybe we could buy a couple off of you?” Sam asked, wondering if this was Loki’s way of getting them what they needed. 

“What’s your name?” the guy asked suspiciously. 

“Dean. Dean Winchester. This is my brother, Sam,” Dean introduced them. 

“Winchester huh?” the guy seemed to perk up a bit putting both hunters on edge. “Word is a couple o Winchesters stopped a hell gate from opening. Demons are right chuffed about it to. That you two?” 

“Yeah,” Dean said slowly narrowing his eyes suspiciously. “You sure know a lot about us.”

“I hunt demons. Demons talk. At least when I get ahold of them they do,” the guy said with a cruel grin. “If I give you knives you gonna kill people along with the demons?” 

Sam jumped in there, afraid of what his brother would say, “Only if we have no other choice.”

The man looked them over appraisingly and pulled two more knives out of the back of his belt and handed them over. “What do you want for them?” Dean asked. 

“You can owe me a favor. More demons off the streets can only be a good thing long as you don’t kill people when you don’t have to.” Neither of them had any problems with that arrangement. “Good. Watch your backs. Demons are pissed,” he said before he turned and left, leaving the cleanup to Sam and Dean. 

Once they got everything cleaned up, Dean was headed out to a bar, but Sam begged off. He needed to talk to Loki. As he heard the Impala leaving the parking lot he didn’t even get a chance to pray before Loki was there pulling him into a kiss. Sam hummed appreciatively into it as he pulled his lover closer. They had been able to steal a bit of time here and there while Dean was on food runs over the last two weeks, but that was it. Dean didn’t leave Sam alone very often, but he seemed to be relaxing around him now. At least enough to go hit a bar for a few hours and Sam had every intention of ravishing the gorgeous god while they had a chance, but first… “Was that you?” Sam asked once they broke for air. 

“Sure was. What do you think? Did I play the part well?” 

“Is that really what you think of hunters? That we are big dumb brutes?” Sam asked with a chuckle. 

“Face it, Sammykins. Most of them are,” Gabriel said with an amused shrug. “Now is this really what you want to be doing in the rare moment we have alone?” he asked with a waggle of his eyebrows. 

“Mmm,” Sam said thoughtfully pretending to think about it before grinning and saying, “No,” as he crashed his lips back into his lover’s.


	16. Chapter 16

Gabriel had just barely curled up next to his hunter before he cursed and disappeared and Sam suddenly found himself alone and dressed. Sam figured that meant Dean was coming back and was suddenly very glad that his partner could disappear fast and dress him in the process because it wasn’t twenty seconds before Dean came into the room. “What you’re just gonna sit here watching television all night?” he asked. 

Dean was getting more comfortable with what that demon had said about Sam. Sure he seemed freer and happier, but that could easily be chalked up to dying and coming back. There hadn’t really been much suspicious about his brother other than that, but he had to be sure, so he made it a short night and came back well before Sam would be expecting him. He was glad to find that Sam wasn’t doing anything wrong because that meant he could finally relax around him again. 

“Yeah. I’m a little tired actually. Was thinking of making it an early night. Got banged around pretty good by the demon,” Sam said, which wasn’t technically a lie. Loki had just happened to heal him from all his bumps and bruises already. 

“Yeah. Sounds like a plan. I’m a little sore too,” Dean said as he stretched out to watch television with his brother for a while before bed. 

The next morning, they headed out for another case. Men were having the most insane accidents and ending up dead in a small town in Indiana. When they ran across Dean’s ex, Sam did a double take at his brother and the kid. They looked a lot alike and even acted alike, and when Dean confirmed the timeline matched up, Sam was suddenly sure that he had a nephew out there. Even when Dean told him that Lisa denied that Ben was his, Sam couldn’t shake the feeling. They had more important things to worry about right now, though. Namely the changeling that was kidnapping children and replacing them with her own. Sam knew that Loki was watching when the flamethrower shot into his hand just in the nick of time. He breathed out a quiet thank you before he went to help Dean get the rest of the kids home and Dean’s ex found out exactly what he did for a living. 

Sam couldn’t help but slip her their emergency numbers. If what he suspected was true and Winchester genetics ran their usual course, she may need their help again. They stopped a few towns over for the night or maybe a few depending on when they found another case and Dean dragged Sam out to a bar with him. “Come on, dude. You haven’t gotten laid in forever. It’s not healthy,” he urged. Sam just rolled his eyes. If only he knew. Sam went along, not that he had any intention of picking anyone up. 

The best laid plans go to waste though as they weren’t there for twenty minutes before a busty brunette sidled up next to him and started flirting heavily. Sam couldn’t exactly push her away too hard with his brother right there, so he was polite and distant for a while. Right up until she winked at him and he saw the blue eye turn gold for a moment and he nearly snorted his drink out his nose as he tried not to laugh at the god’s antics. Well that was one way to throw his brother off the trail. When Sam started to respond to her flirting rather awkwardly, Dean just clapped him on the shoulder and headed off to find his own conquest for the night. 

Once Dean ditched them, Gabriel grabbed Sam’s hand and led him to a booth where he sat very close and practically purred at the hunter. He laughed at how uncomfortable Sam was. “What’s wrong Sammykins? It’s just me.”

“I know. It’s just…you don’t look like you and it’s throwing me off,” he said sheepishly. 

Gabriel laughed again. “It’s hard for me to understand how you humans function only able to see the surface of things. At least I know I don’t have to worry about you straying. You were positively frigid until I gave myself away.”

“Were you ever actually worried about it?” Sam asked only slightly believing it was a possibility.

“Nah. Not really. It’s nice to have confirmation though,” Gabriel said tangling his hand with Sam’s. 

“Speaking of seeing beyond the surface though, you were paying attention on that hunt right?” Sam asked. He wondered if Loki had only showed up for the fight or if he was in the background the whole time. 

“Mostly. I popped in and out, and I can guess what you’re wondering and yeah. The kid’s definitely a Winchester. I can tell, and more importantly any demon will be able to tell, as well as any vamp or werewolf and a whole host of other things that have ever gotten your scent,” Gabriel told him. 

“The demons are pissed as hell at us right now. Dean’s off limits because of his deal, I’m off limits because I’m supposed to be the boy king or whatever the hell they’re calling me, but if they run across the kid…” Sam said alarmed. 

“I know. That’s why I tossed some wards over the area. Another monster comes within ten miles I’ll know,” Gabriel told him and Sam couldn’t help but lean over and kiss him soundly for that before he pulled back and grimaced a little causing Gabriel to laugh again. “So how soon is too soon for you to take me somewhere and ravish me?” 

“It’s too soon still. Dean would never buy my leaving so quick with some random girl. Let’s give it another half hour or so. You will look like you again once we’re alone though right?” Sam asked hopefully. 

“If you want. Or I can look like someone else. Whoever you want.” Gabriel wasn’t really keen on the idea too often, but it could be fun to mix things up from time to time. 

“I want YOU,” Sam told him earnestly. 

“Oh come on. There’s gotta be someone you always fantasized about. Actress or musician or high school teacher. One-time offer. Anybody you want.” 

Sam rolled his eyes and leaned close to whisper in his ear, “You are ‘everything’ I want, Lo. Just be you. Always.”

Gabriel couldn’t help but grin. “Whatever you say, my Samshine,” he purred as he twirled a lock of Sam’s hair around his finger. He couldn’t deny the warmth he felt at that declaration and the denial of his offer. 

“Oh forget it. Let’s go,” Sam said grabbing Loki’s hand and pulling him out the door, catching Dean’s eye and waving on his way out. It was a long standing tradition that the first to leave with a girl got their room for the night and the other had to either go to hers or get another room. 

As Gabriel lay there naked, curled up next to an equally naked Sam as they basked in the afterglow, he decided to expand a little on their discussion earlier. “So when are you gonna tell me about some of your fantasies?” he asked.

“Loki…” Sam said wearily. 

“Oh come on. How am I supposed to fulfill all your fantasies if I don’t know what they are?” Gabriel whined. “I mean sure I could just read your mind and pluck them out that way…”

“Then that’s just what you’re gonna have to do,” Sam interrupted as he turned to kiss him. 

That was all the invitation Gabriel needed and as Sam kissed him, part of his consciousness delved into the hunter’s head to see all the juicy fantasies he had. By the hunter’s refusal to discuss the matter he was expecting some really juicy stuff but there wasn’t anything there that made his top hundred on the kink factor. There were a few things he could work with though. He did enjoy the fact that even the threesome fantasies that everyone who hasn’t had a thousand mass orgies had, included two of him. That could be interesting. They could work up to that one though. 

For the first time since they’d come back to the real world, Sam got to spend an entire night with Loki and the god seemed to really enjoy the ‘walk of shame’, in the same woman’s body as he had been in last night, as he left while Dean was coming in. The next couple months were a haze of cases, just one after another, from cursed rabbit’s feet to ghost ships to homicidal hunters it was like they couldn’t get a break. Before Sam realized it, Christmas was upon them and for the first time since they were kids, Sam wanted to make sure Dean had a real Christmas. A happy Christmas. Because soon he would be in hell for god knew how long and he wanted to give him some happy family memories to hold onto.


	17. Chapter 17

Sam wasn’t about to ask Loki to help him set up a nice Christmas for his brother. Given that he was a pagan god, it didn’t really seem like his kind of thing. It really didn’t help when they ended up with a case too. At least it was a Christmas themed case, so that was something. Whenever he wasn’t working on the case, he was trying to get things set up for Christmas. He didn’t think much of it when the perfect tree ended up being on sale and the lot just happened to have a sale on ornaments too. They managed to finish up the case on Christmas eve so Sam had a little while to get everything set up while Dean hit a bar for a few hours. It wasn’t until Loki popped in holding a wrapped gift that he realized it had all been a little too perfect and he suddenly felt bad for not including him. “You do Christmas?” Sam asked. 

“Not usually, but humans do. I know this is a big Christmas for you and your brother, so I get that you want to spend it with him, but I thought I would help things along a little bit,” he said with a shrug. “Here. Go ahead and open it. It’s for the tree,” he said. 

Sam opened the present and found a beautiful porcelain and lace angel with six golden wings and wavy blonde hair for the top of the tree. He hadn’t seen too many male angel tree toppers, but that was okay. He kinda liked it. In fact, if he squinted a bit it almost looked a little like Loki. 

“I remembered what you said about Gabriel so I got one that looked kinda like him,” Loki explained. “I noticed that humans have a lot of traditions and I kinda liked the whole special ornament every year thing, so maybe, once we’re out in the open and can spend Christmas together that can be one of ours,” he babbled nervously. This was rather outside of his comfort zone. Not so much the whole Christmas thing, though that was slightly uncomfortable, but giving Sam a Gabriel tree topper was way out there. He wanted it to be something special though and he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep it a secret from Sam forever, so when he did find out it would mean even more. He hoped so at least. “I know you can’t really take it on the road with you or anything, but I figured I could take it home once Christmas is over and keep it for next year,” he continued babbling until Sam shut him up with a searing kiss. 

“It’s perfect, Lo. Thank you. Really. I like the idea of special ornaments every year too, but mostly I just like the idea of celebrating many more holidays with you,” he grinned happily. Sam had only let him babble so long because he had been feeling a little guilty about shutting him out and not even thinking of spending Christmas with him. “We can do Christmas twice though. I can do it with Dean and then we can go home and do it up there too,” he suggested. 

“That’s okay. This one should be about your brother. It would be nice if he could be there too when we celebrate together for the first time. Make it a family thing. I know things may be rocky and he may not want to but we could give him the option, you know?” Gabriel was looking forward to being able to be open with their relationship and hopefully have something resembling a family again. He had meant what he’d said back when they first met too. He liked Dean. It would be nice to have him as a brother in law. 

“Are you sure you don’t mind?” Sam asked. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m choosing him over you or anything.”

“I’m sure Samsquatch,” Gabriel assured him. “You can make it up to me later.” He waggled his eyebrows at the hunter and Sam laughed. Gabriel kissed him quickly and said, “Love you, Sammykins,” before he disappeared as Sam heard the Impala pull up outside and he rushed to put the new topper on the tree. 

Sam enjoyed the gob smacked look on his brother’s face as he came in and saw the tree and all the decorations. Loki had thankfully taken the wrapping paper from his present with him when he disappeared and Sam once more marveled at the little god’s attention to detail. He would have gotten them caught a hundred times by now if it were up to him. He supposed if anyone knew deception it would be a trickster though. Sam grinned at him and held out a cup of Winchester special egg nog. Five parts whiskey one part egg nog. 

Dean rolled his eyes and played along. He wasn’t much in the Christmas spirit this year as he had tried to tell his brother a hundred times, but he understood Sam’s desire to have one last Christmas as a family so he was going to humor him. He couldn’t deny that by the end of the night he was actually feeling the holiday spirit after all, though that could be the egg nog talking. He was very glad the next morning that he was mostly immune to hangovers, and it seemed that Sam hadn’t drank much because he was bright eyed and bushy tailed too. No sooner than he came out of the bathroom, something hit his chest and he caught it instinctively seeing that it was a present. He couldn’t help but smile as he grabbed a package out of his bag and tossed it to his brother too. 

The gifts would be considered tacky and even insulting in any normal family, but it worked for them. Part of Sam had been tempted to use the card that Loki had given him and give his brother a really great Christmas but it would raise far too many questions. He would make it up to him next year when everything was in the open. All in all, it was a nice Christmas. For them, it was a perfect Christmas. Once it was over, Sam couldn’t help but feel more down than ever though. He had always heard of the post-holiday blues, but had never really been afflicted before. The guilt of everything was weighing on him. Hiding so much from his brother, neglecting Loki, keeping a whole part of his life a secret from everyone. He understood the necessity, but that didn’t make it much easier. He wanted to have Loki take him home for a while, but he didn’t want that to become a crutch. It had been hard enough to leave last time. 

Sam usually managed to beg off going to bars with his brother, choosing instead to steal the time with Loki, but then even when he did get roped into going he usually just picked Loki up anyway in the guise of different women. He still laughed when he pictured the look on his brothers face when he picked up a woman who was even taller than him, weighed about three times as much and had an angry looking face. It was a few weeks after Christmas and they had just finished up a case dealing with witches, and he got dragged to a bar again. He was expecting it really. Dean hated witches with a passion and after nearly dying before Sam ‘miraculously’ found the hex bags, it wasn’t surprising that his brother wanted to get blind drunk. 

This time they got a table rather than sitting at the bar. Sam thought that would be a better idea than trying to keep his drunk brother from falling off the barstool. When they had been there for about half an hour, Loki came by, this time in a petite blonde, to try and chat him up, but Sam just smiled and said, “Not tonight sweetheart.” His brother needed a babysitter tonight. When Dean got up a few minutes later to go get them some more drinks, Sam suddenly felt a hand sliding up his thigh. “Loki…” he whispered in warning. 

“Shh. Just relax, Samshine,” Gabriel whispered invisibly in Sam’s ear. He knew from what he’d glimpsed from the hunter’s fantasies that he had always dreamed of doing something like this in a public place, but been too afraid to actually act on it and this was the perfect chance. They were at a table that was low enough that anyone would have to lean over to look under the table to see anything. It was dark enough and loud enough to cover anything up. Having his brother sitting across from him would just make it that much more exciting and if anything went wrong he could easily modify any necessary memories. 

“Dean’ll be back…”

Gabriel bit Sam’s earlobe. “I said…Shh.” If Sam insisted that he stop then he would, but he really wanted to make some of the hunter’s fantasies come true. When Sam gave a slight whimper as he shuddered and he could feel the hunter’s cock start to harden, he figured Sam wasn’t actually going to stop him so he started rubbing him a little more insistently as he slid under the table. He made it so that he was immaterial even to everyone except Sam so even if Dean kicked him when he got back it would just go right through him. 

Dean came back and plopped down, sliding a beer over to Sam. “Man I really hate witches,” he grumbled as he downed half of one of the beers be brought himself in one pull. 

“Y-yeah. Me t-too,” Sam stammered as he felt Loki’s nose nudging against his now hard cock. 

“You okay, Sammy?” Dean asked narrowing his eyes trying to see if something was wrong with him. “You look a little flushed.”

Sam tried a little harder to hide his reactions and managed to get out, “I’m good. You’re drunk,” without stuttering and trying to make it seem like Dean’s perceptions were off. He could feel the god’s hot breath through his jeans and he couldn’t deny how insanely turned on he was at this whole thing as he tried to make conversation with his brother, or more like listen to him and give occasional short answers to what he said, not that he had much idea of what he was saying. He bit his lip so hard it nearly bled when he felt the button on his jeans pop open and the zipper slide down. Was Loki seriously going to suck him off right here in the middle of a bar with his brother right across from him?

Loki’s hand slipped into Sam’s boxers and pulled his aching erection out and gave it a few strokes while Sam’s breathing sped up at the thought of having his cock exposed in public. When he felt Loki swallow him down to the root in one quick movement he bumped the table so hard all the beers fell over. “S-sorry,” he said quickly and tried to look as unaffected as he could. 

Apparently he managed to look innocent enough because Dean just rolled his eyes. “Whatever, bitch. I’ll go get some more.”

Sam didn’t respond. He couldn’t respond given the talent that Loki was blowing him with under the table. As soon as his brother was far enough away with his back turned, he let his head fall back against the back of the booth and let out a quiet moan as his hand tangled tightly in Loki’s hair. “Fuck, Loki,” he breathed out. “You’re killing me here.” He felt the vibrations as Loki hummed around his cock and his hand tightened in his hair. 

He was hoping that Loki would get him off before Dean got back but it wasn’t to be as it seemed like no time at all before Dean was sliding back into place across from him and handing him another beer. “Don’t spill it this time,” he said gruffly. 

“I won’t. Sorry,” Sam gasped out. He was very glad that his brother was half drunk already or he would have noticed his breathing that he was failing to keep even and his speech that he was failing to keep normal. “I-I’m kind of hungry,” he said quickly grabbing one of the menu’s at the back and putting it in front of his face as Loki kicked things up a notch, pulling his balls out and getting them in on the action and Sam was so damn close to blowing…in public…in front of his brother…and it was so fucking hot he couldn’t stand it. He could taste the coppery blood in his mouth as he bit his lip when he came and gripped the table so hard his knuckles were white. If Loki had been human he was sure he would have snatched out all his hair. And of course his brother chose that moment to grab the menu that he’d propped up in front of him and ask him what was going on. He could feel Loki’s laughter even as he swallowed what the hunter was still spilling and Sam gasped out. “N-nothing. S-stomach ache.”

“Well go to the bathroom then, dude. Jesus,” Dean said impatiently. 

“In…in a sec…” Sam couldn’t remember the last time he had cum so hard or so long, but Loki was finally milking him for the last few drops before he tucked him back in his pants and did them back up. 

“Meet you in the bathroom gorgeous,” he heard a low voice in his ear. It was a minute before Sam felt like his legs would work, but then he took his brother’s suggestion and headed for the bathroom as fast as he could. 

When he got in the bathroom he saw Loki, in his usual appearance, leaning against the wall with a smug smirk firmly fixed on his face. Sam grabbed him and pinned him hard against the wall kissing him roughly, tasting himself in his lover’s mouth. “That was fucking hot,” he whispered in Loki’s ear. 

“I’m glad you think so,” Loki said smugly as he pushed the hunter to his knees and reached down to undo his own pants. 

“But…here?” Sam asked looking around at how exposed and in the open they were. This was a public bathroom for crying out loud. Anyone could walk in. 

“Yes, Sammy. Here,” Loki said slipping his hand into Sam’s hair, but not forcing anything. Sam looked at the hard leaking cock bobbing right in front of his face and moved forward taking the head tentatively in his mouth. “Mmm, yeah, Sam,” Loki moaned softly using the hand in his hair to urge him on. Just as Sam started getting up a good rhythm the door opened and someone walked in. Sam tried to pull back but Loki held him in place, even when he choked. “Uh-uh. Don’t stop,” he whispered. 

The man glanced over and just rolled his eyes as he headed for the urinals, and Sam’s cock started twitching again. Sam could feel the guy glancing over at them and that just made him even more turned on as he began sucking Loki even more enthusiastically. “Shit…Sam…I’m close…” Loki breathed out as the door opened again and someone else came in and unabashedly stopped to watch. Sam could feel Loki tense and then grunt as the stream of warm salty liquid hit the back of his throat and Sam swallowed profusely, trying to get every drop. Once Loki was spent, Sam stood back up and the other people went about their business like it never happened and Sam grabbed Loki in another kiss as he tucked the god’s softening cock back in his pants and did them up for him. 

“What if Dean had come in?” Sam asked alarmed as he was coming down from his high.

“We don’t look like us to anyone else,” Gabriel told him. “Don’t worry. I wouldn’t risk us that way.”

“Good,” Sam said kissing Loki one more time before starting to head out the door. Loki grabbed his arm though and put something in his hand. 

Sam looked down curiously and Loki explained. “Breath mint. Don’t want to go back with dick breath,” he said with a cheeky wink as he disappeared.

Sam chuckled as he headed back out to Dean, who hopefully hadn’t managed to get himself into too much trouble in the ten minutes Sam was gone.


	18. Chapter 18

Sam ended up spending the rest of the night trying to wrangle his drunk brother and managed to get him back to the room before he passed out. He swore part of the reason he hated witches was because of how they affected Dean and having to deal with the fallout of that. He wondered if he would ever find out exactly why his brother had such an irrational hatred of witches. Not that they didn’t deserve hatred of course, but there were plenty of other things to hate. He just shrugged it off and collapsed into bed, not noticing the silent watcher that soothed his dreams and purged enough alcohol from both his and Dean’s systems that they wouldn’t wake with hangovers. 

A few weeks later, after saving Bobby’s bacon from a dreamwalker, Sam was looking for cases and saw an article about a guy disappearing at the Broward County Mystery Spot. He knew it was thin, and there were better things they could be doing, but occasionally these things could be legit. He wasn’t driving all the way down to Florida on a hoax though so he waited until Dean went out and called Loki. “Got a potential case in Broward County Florida. Mystery Spot. Is it legit?” he asked. He knew that any holes in the fabric of reality would be on Loki’s radar. 

“Nah. Don’t take that one. It’s just me playing. Don’t worry. The jerk will be back with his family in a few days,” Loki told him. 

“Do I wanna know?” Sam asked with a raised eyebrow, not that Loki could see him over the phone. 

“Putz said he didn’t believe in wormholes so I tossed him in one,” Loki laughed. “You wanna know why, do a little research into him. Should be easy enough to find.”

“I might do that,” Sam laughed with him. Wormholes. Really. It couldn’t be too bad if Loki would have him home in a few days though. It wasn’t really any of his business, but curiosity had him looking up Dexter Hasslebeck and he found himself grinning at how fitting the punishment was. Sam did end up finding another case soon after that though and they headed to Monument Colorado. There were some major demon signs going up there. Sam would be lying if he said he didn’t have a particular vendetta against demons. He wanted every one of the bastards dead or back in hell, so when he found demon signs they went after them. 

This time though, they seemed to have bitten off more than they could chew. They ended up with over thirty demons on their trail and they were running. They had been cut off from the car and they were in trouble. It wasn’t until Dean skidded to a stop, falling down, he was so desperate to stop, so Sam followed suit just as he saw a steep cliff behind them. Dean looked down and gulped, before getting to his feet, pulling Sam up with him. “Guess we make a stand,” he said facing the oncoming horde. 

“Jump, Samshine,” Sam heard in his head and he didn’t hesitate to grab his brother’s arm and pull him over the edge. Dean screamed like a girl for a moment before they landed in a pair of beds, Dean unconscious. Sam looked around trying to figure out where they were and saw a takeout menu. It seemed that they were in a motel room a few hours away from where they had been. 

“Lo?” Sam said aloud to the room at large as he tried to get his shaking under control. 

“Sorry, Sammykins,” Loki said appearing behind him. “I couldn’t let them see me so I had to grab you from somewhere out of their line of sight, hence the jumping. You good?” 

It took Sam a moment in his adrenaline filled haze for the arrival of his lover to register and he grabbed him in a tight hug, unable to form words just yet. Loki wrapped his arms around Sam and rubbed his back as the hunter came down from the high. Once Loki’s words registered, Sam said in a shaky voice, “Yeah. I’m good.” He took a few deep breaths and stepped out of Loki’s embrace. “I just…jumped off a cliff,” he said in disbelief. 

Gabriel couldn’t help the twitch of his lips as he said, “Kinda brings new meaning to the human saying ‘if your friends told you to jump off a cliff’ huh?” 

Sam blinked at him for a moment before he burst into laughter, holding his sides. Gabriel’s almost laugh was wiped from his face at that as he saw the signs of shock from the hunter. He knew that Sam wasn’t a big fan of heights and he wouldn’t have had him jump off a mile high cliff if he’d had a choice and it seemed this was the last straw. Gabriel had seen him running himself more and more ragged over the last few months. They were running out of time before Dean went to hell and Sam wasn’t doing nearly as well as he wanted everyone to believe. Gabriel had been giving him his space, waiting for him to ask for help, trying not to pry, but this breakdown was a long time coming. He made sure that Dean was out cold. It seemed he was going to be here a while and the last thing they needed was him waking up to find the supposedly dead trickster there. 

Sure enough, he was there to catch Sam as the laughter turned to tears and picked him up and carried him, bridal style over to the bed as he sat down and pulled him close. “It’s okay, Samshine. I’m here. I’ve got you,” he whispered running a hand through the hunter’s hair as the other rubbed his back. 

“Lo?” Sam asked in a small voice through his tears. 

“I’m right here, Sammy,” Loki whispered pressing a kiss to his head. 

“Can we…go home…for a while? I just need…” Sam trailed off, unsure what he needed or how to put it in words. It didn’t matter though. 

“Whatever you need, my Samshine,” he said softly as the scene shifted and they landed on their bed in the home they had spent six months in. It didn’t take long for Sam to cry himself to sleep and Gabriel wondered absentmindedly if they would ever come here at a time when Sam wasn’t crying himself to sleep the first night. At least this time, he was able to hold him, and hold him he did. He kept the hunter tucked to his side all night and when Sam blinked awake when morning came, he was met with a concerned smile from his lover. 

“I’m sorry, Lo,” he said embarrassedly. 

“Uh-uh. Nope. Apology not accepted. You have nothing to be sorry for. You’ve been running yourself ragged for months. You were due for a breakdown. Overdue really,” Gabriel told him. 

“I just…”

“Tried to shoulder everything yourself and broke under the weight,” Gabriel interrupted him not wanting to hear any excuses. “I get that time our time was limited, and our relationship has mostly been about sex when we could manage to steal time lately, but if you had talked to me, we could have taken a few hours or a day or as long as you needed away, and I could have helped you. I’m supposed to be your partner, Sam. You have to let me help you carry these things. Dean is your partner too, in a different way of course. If you don’t want to burden him given what he’s facing, I understand that, but let me help you. Lean on me.”

“It’s not your problem, Lo. Dean’s my brother. It’s my problem. You shouldn’t be burdened with it,” Sam said not looking at him. 

Gabriel couldn’t help but feel hurt at that. At being shut out so completely and basically being told that Sam’s life wasn’t his problem and that hurt colored his response. “Well then,” he said shortly. “Here I’ve been thinking we’ve been working towards something permanent with us, but I guess I was a lot more serious then you were. I get it. I have no place in your life. You live your life, I’ll live mine and next time you want a roll in the hay give me a call. I might come if I’m not too busy,” he snapped as he stormed out, slamming the door behind him and leaving Sam blinking at the now empty room wondering what the hell just happened.


	19. Chapter 19

It took a second for Sam to realize what Loki had said, and while he had no idea where that outburst had come from, he knew that he couldn’t let this happen. He couldn’t let this end. Not like this. He scrambled out of bed and raced out the door. “Loki!” He called seeing the god at the bottom of the stairs, headed towards the door. “Lo!” he called again catching up to him and grabbing his arm, spinning him around to look at him, taken aback at the tear wiped angrily from the powerful being’s face. 

“Stop it, Sam. I can’t...can’t do this halfway. Not anymore,” he said firmly.

“Okay. That’s okay. Whatever this is about, let’s just sit down and talk about it. We can work it out. Don’t just…don’t walk away from me. From us. Please.”

“Whatever this is about? I thought it was pretty damn clear. I have been watching you run yourself into the ground for months, waiting for you to come to me. Waiting for you to open up, but you never did. You just shut me out. Oh I was good for a fuck when you could find some time for me, but that was it. You never once even asked me to take us somewhere for a night or two. Some time for us. I get that I’m some dirty little secret you’re keeping from everyone, and I can live with that, but this…this wall between us…I just can’t…I’m sorry,” he snatched his arm away and resumed walking. 

Sam stood there wide-eyed as he swallowed around the lump in his throat and realized that Loki was right. He had been shutting him out. He had been pushing him away. He felt the tears prickling his eyes as he watched his lover’s back disappear into the woods. He was still here. That meant that Loki would talk. Or he would at least let Sam chase him down. He didn’t want to just go after him and start denying everything though. Not now that he knew it was all true. He needed to get his own thoughts in order. He needed to figure out what was wrong with him, and get a handle on just how badly he had screwed up. 

He took a few deep breaths to center himself and headed towards the couch before his eyes lit on something on the mantle and he changed course. It was the Gabriel Christmas tree topper. Sam ran his fingers over it as he remembered when Loki had given it to him. Sam had never forgotten Loki’s discomfort when Sam brought up Gabriel that day, but he had gotten him a Gabriel tree topper. Just because it would make him happy. He remembered how nervous Loki had been when he gave it to him. He had thought it was just because of the gift, but looking back, could it have been something more? Sam hadn’t invited him to share any Christmas stuff with him. Was he afraid he was stepping in somewhere he wasn’t wanted? Sam remembered offering to do go away with him and do Christmas just the two of them after his Christmas with Dean, but he had worded it like it would have been a favor to Loki, instead of like he actually wanted to. What the hell was wrong with him? Loki had been there. Constantly. Supporting as much as he could. Practically begging, as much as his pride would allow, to be let in, and Sam just kept his distance. 

He picked up the ornament and went to sit down on the couch with it, hanging his head as he turned it over in his hands. It had been a long time since he’d prayed. Part of him had felt that since he was with a pagan god, it wouldn’t be right, but praying had always helped him make sense of things before. Like saying them aloud helped him understand. Loki had said that they didn’t care about those kinds of things though, so maybe it would be okay. As he looked down at the image of Gabriel in his hands the words just started to flow. 

“Gabriel, I know it’s been a while, but I need some guidance. I screwed up. Big time. I’ve been seeing this guy, well not really a guy, more like a god. I don’t know if that’s a big deal to you. Loki said it wasn’t, but apparently you haven’t been around for a while and I know things can change, but anyway, I screwed up. Did I say that already? I don’t know. I’ve just been dealing with some stuff. Really major stuff and I guess I’ve been shutting him out. I didn’t even realize I was doing it, but now he’s all upset, and he should be, but I’m afraid I may have lost him and I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know why I did it beyond the fact that I’m just an idiot who has to ruin the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Gabriel was sitting in the crystal garden meditating when he heard the prayer coming through and his eyes snapped open in surprise. Sam hadn’t prayed to him…Gabriel…before. Not since they met. He knew that he should go to Sam. To interrupt him before he heard something he wasn’t supposed to hear, but he couldn’t move. Maybe it was the shock of it. Maybe it was some part of him that wanted to hear. That wanted to know. To know if there was anything worth salvaging. To know why. To know where Sam’s head was in all this. 

Sam sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe…maybe I just don’t want to burden him. He’s just…so perfect. He’s like…made of pure joy and laughter and I shouldn’t be pulling that down with my problems. He’s so much more than I could ever be. I…I should be fitting myself to him, not bringing him down with me.” Now that he was starting to hit on the crux of the matter he found it was becoming clearer and clearer. “He’s just…he’s a god. He’s so strong and confident and how can I be worthy of someone like that if I can’t even deal with my own problems? He said…he said he was my partner, but how can we partners if I’m so much of nothing compared to him. He said he wanted something permanent with me, and I want that too. More than I’ve ever wanted anything, but how can I accept that from someone so much better than me. I…I think I just wanted to prove…prove that I could be strong too. That I could be strong enough to stand beside him, but I’m not. I can’t be and I don’t know how to deal with that.”

Sam started as he felt a hand carding through his hair and he looked up to see sad golden eyes looking at him. “I’m sorry, Sam,” Loki said softly. 

“How…how much did you hear?” he asked in a small voice. 

“Pretty much all of it,” he said honestly. He would let Sam draw what conclusions he would from that. He wouldn’t come out and say it, but he was done trying to hide it. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised when Sam didn’t even consider that he hadn’t been standing there for a while and might have heard the prayer as a prayer. The hunter did have a rather lot on his mind right now. 

“Why are you sorry?” Sam asked. “I’m the one who screwed up.”

“You’re not the only one who screwed up. I should have talked to you before. I should have said something before it boiled over. I’m the one who let it get this bad,” he said sadly. “And I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” Sam whispered. “For everything.”

Gabriel, in an effort to lighten the mood a bit before they started talking about the heavy stuff, said, “I hope not everything. There’s plenty you definitely shouldn’t be sorry for,” and added a little eye waggle and Sam snorted a giggle. Gabriel gave a small smile as he got up off his knees and sat on the couch next to Sam. “So it seems we have some issues to work out,” he said, pausing to give Sam a chance to speak first if he wanted, even though he’d already said quite enough. And apparently he thought so too, either that or was too embarrassed about what Loki had heard. Needless to say, he had to take the reigns here. “First of all, one thing I want to make absolutely clear, beyond a shadow of a doubt, you are worthy, Sam. You are more than worthy. I know they say love gives you rose colored glasses or something like that, but I’m not the saint you apparently think me to be. I can be cold and callous. I have a cruel streak a mile wide…uh-uh. I’m talking now…I choose to exercise that against people who deserve it but that doesn’t change facts. I’m selfish…in so many ways…and I have more than a little bit of cowardice in me. My point is. I’m not perfect and neither are you, but we were made for each other Sam. Literally. You don’t have to fit yourself to me or expect me to fit myself to you. We already fit. You just have to let me in.”

Sam thought about that for a long while. He remembered how great things were when they were here before. How well they worked together and he knew that Loki was right. They did already fit. It was just a matter of figuring out how they fit out there. He wanted to dispute Loki’s disparaging remarks about himself, but he stopped himself. Loki hadn’t said it in a self-depricating way but more of a self-enlightened one, so he was obviously okay with it and that would be a side argument they could get back to later. There were more important things to discuss right now. “The reason I didn’t ask you to take me away wasn’t because I didn’t want time for us, it was because I didn’t want to use you as a crutch when things got tough. I…I didn’t even think of it in terms of taking time for us, and I should have.”

“I should have asked for what I wanted instead of waiting for you to ask,” Gabriel countered. “I jumped to conclusions that I shouldn’t have when you didn’t.”

“They were valid conclusions,” Sam assured him. “Once you said it, I realized how stupid I was to not see it.”

“Still. We talked at the very beginning about you talking to me before jumping to conclusions and making accusations and then I turn around and do that to you. I don’t want any double standards here, Sam. Despite the difference in our powers, we are equals in this relationship. Partners.”

“Yeah. Okay. I…I get that. It’s just hard with…you know…” Now that Sam realized what his subconscious was thinking he was having trouble getting past it. 

“We both have our strengths and our weaknesses, Sam. Just because my strengths are flashier doesn’t mean you don’t have just as much to offer.”

“Like what?” Sam scoffed. 

“Your heart, for one. You have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known, human or otherwise. You always see the best in people, no matter how deeply it’s hidden. I don’t think you realize just how cold I was before I met you. You taught me how to feel again, Sam,” he said softly running a hand through the hunter’s hair and stroking his cheek. “You don’t know how amazing that is.” One side of Sam’s lips quirked up in an almost involuntary smile and Gabriel smiled back at him. “Your mind,” he continued. “Sure I know more facts than all the humans on the planet combined. I can do calculations that make your brightest mathematicians look like kindergarteners. But you, Sam, you have an ingenuity that I will never have. You have a way of looking at things and taking them apart and seeing angles that I couldn’t dream of. You do it all the time. You take the smallest thread of fact and follow it to the correct conclusion.” Sam ducked his head, blushing at the praise, but Gabriel just hooked a finger under his chin and forced his face back up. He would teach the hunter to take a compliment if it was the last thing he did. “The most remarkable thing of all about you though, is your soul. Your entire life has essentially been engineered by heaven and hell alike to make you just like Lucifer. To make you his perfect vessel. No matter what crap got thrown at you, you came through it a better person. You retained that beautiful heart and incredible mind against all odds and no one could have counted on that. And that is why we will win, Sammy. Not because of my power. But because of you. Because of your heart and mind and perseverance. We will get through these hurdles just like you’ve made it through all the others, and we’ll do it together, because we’re stronger together.” Gabriel realized he was getting away from the main point of the discussion, but it needed to be said anyway. Or maybe it was the main point. It was what this whole thing stemmed from after all. Either way they could always circle back around later. “I cover your weaknesses and you cover mine. We fit,” he reiterated. 

“I’m an idiot,” Sam said sheepishly. 

“We’re both idiots, Samshine. And now we both know it. And now we can fix it,” Gabriel said earnestly. 

Sam reached out and pulled Loki close and the god just sank gratefully into his arms as Sam rested his cheek on his head. “Does it really bother you that we are a secret? Because if it does, then we will go tell everyone. I don’t care.”

Gabriel smiled and squeezed Sam’s waist. “No, Samshine. Not really. In conjunction with everything else, it just seemed like one more piece of proof that you didn’t want me, but by itself…well it was my idea to begin with. At least until, Dean gets back, we need to be a secret. The less information they can torture out of him the better, and he shouldn’t be in a position to have to try and keep those kinds of secrets.”

“There’s more you’re not saying,” Sam prompted. Now that he was paying attention he could tell.

“It’s just…he’s your family...and I want to say that means he’s like my family, but I don’t know…I mean…would that be too much? I just feel like I’m taking liberties I shouldn’t be by thinking of him that way,” he said uncomfortably. It was one thing to blurt out all his insecurities in a fit of temper but actually talking them out calmly was far more difficult. He felt…exposed…and he didn’t particularly like it. 

“Loki, I love you. With everything I am. Forever. You mentioned wanting something permanent and I want that too. More than anything. My family can be your family, and yours can be mine. If you have any that is. Never worry about ‘taking liberties you shouldn’t’. If, somehow, you ever happen to go too far, I’ll let you know,” Sam told him before smiling and saying, “Don’t hold back on me, Lo.”

“Hey, that’s supposed to be my line,” Gabriel said with a chuckle. 

“You can have it back when I don’t need it anymore,” Sam countered with his own laugh. 

“Touché.”


	20. Chapter 20

Since the conversation was headed that way, Gabriel steeled himself to do something that he had been thinking about before everything went bad, and his heart was beating out of his chest with nerves as he said, “So when you say you want permanent…how permanent are you thinking?”

Sam could tell Loki was nervous, and now that they were actually talking about specifics…at least he assumed that was where this was going…he found himself getting nervous too. No matter his nerves, there was only one answer though. “As permanent as possible,” he managed to say without shaking. “Why? What were you thinking?” He wanted to get on the same page.

“Well we could…um…bond…if that’s something you wanted…I mean I don’t need an answer now…just…something to think about…you know…”

“Okay, but…um…what is it?” 

“Right…yeah…you might need to know that. Well, it would basically bind our souls for all eternity. Kind of like marriage but without the death escape clause and the possibility of divorce. Nothing would really change day to day, you wouldn’t get any powers or anything, except immortality. You would still be able to be killed, but you wouldn’t get old and die that way. If you did die, I would join you in whatever afterlife you went to…”

“I wouldn’t join you?” Sam asked. 

“Human souls are the only ones with a choice, so they are the ones who take precedent,” Gabriel explained. He had taken in enough pagan that he would have gone to Helheim despite his grace imploding in the event of his death, but if Sam wanted to bond with him then it wouldn’t matter. 

“So I have to choose for both of us?” Sam asked nervously. 

“No, Samshine. You have to choose for you. I’d happily follow you anywhere. It doesn’t matter to me.”

“Still…this is…big…” Sam said as he tried to wrap his mind around it. 

“I know. That’s why I said I don’t need an answer now. I just…wanted you to know it was an option…if that’s something you ever want.”

Sam lifted Loki’s head up and kissed him deeply as he tried to choose his words carefully. When he knew what he wanted to say, he ended the kiss and rested his forehead against the god’s. “I love you, Lo, and there isn’t a doubt in my mind that I want forever with you, but this is big. It needs more than a few minute’s thought. My answer will most likely be yes, and soon. I just need to be sure before I say.”

Gabriel smiled and burrowed deeper into the hunter’s arms. “Take all the time you need, my Samshine. Offer’s always open.” Gabriel just enjoyed being there with Sam again for a little while before he said, “Okay so now that we’re fixed, let’s work on you.”

“Actually I think I’m good, Lo,” Sam told him as he just held his lover tighter and breathed in his scent. 

“Sam…” he said wearily. 

“No, really. I mean everything’s been piling on and coming at me so fast that I can’t keep up, and I can’t think. That’s why I couldn’t see what was happening with us, but this is exactly what I need. You and time. In that order.”

Gabriel relaxed at the explanation. “Well that you can have as much of as you want,” he said with a smile. 

“Thank you, Lo,” he was sure the god knew that he meant for more than just his presence and the time. “And I promise that if I need to talk or vent or anything, I will.”

“Good. Because I’m always here,” Gabriel assured him. 

Sam answered that with a kiss, and while part of him was tempted to take things to the bedroom, he knew that wasn’t what he or they needed right now. Part of the problems they were working through now stemmed from sex at the exclusion of all this, so he kept it short and sweet. “Out of curiosity, did Dean pass out on his own or did you knock him out?” Sam asked. If Dean really did pass out from jumping off the cliff he would never stop teasing him. 

“I knocked him out,” Gabriel told him. “He will wake up with the memory of being knocked unconscious during the fight. You’ll have to come up with some story of how you escaped.”

“That’s not gonna be easy,” Sam said. “We were facing down a horde of more than thirty demons with our backs to a cliff. I still can’t believe you made me jump off a cliff,” Sam grumbled good-naturedly. 

“I didn’t ‘make’ you, Sammykins. I just told you to,” Gabriel pointed out with a chuckle. 

It suddenly hit Sam and his eyes widened. “I just heard your voice in my head and I didn’t hesitate. What if it had been a demon messing with me?” 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Why do you think I called you Samshine? What demon is gonna call you Samshine?” 

“Right. Yeah. Good point,” Sam said relaxing. “But we can never tell anyone else about that nickname just in case.”

“Like I’m gonna go around broadcasting my soft side to people? Please.” Sam couldn’t help but laugh at that. It did seem rather improbable. “Gotta say, it does feel pretty good to know that you trust me so much.”

“Of course I trust you, Lo. Completely.”

On second thought, maybe it didn’t feel all that good. “I do have secrets, Sam. Big ones. Ones that I’ve never shared with anyone.” 

“Obviously. I mean you’re what? A billion years old? Like I could possibly know everything. I know that you would never hurt me or allow me to be hurt. You would never put me in danger without my knowledge, and you would do anything you could to protect me. That’s all I really need to know,” Sam told him. 

Gabriel smiled softly. He just hoped that attitude held when his biggest secret came out, because it would eventually. Gabriel was resigned to it. He knew he should just tell Sam before he found out another way, but he couldn’t bring himself too. Maybe if they bonded he would be able to. Yeah. That was a good plan. Once they were bonded he would share everything. It wouldn’t be right to keep secrets then anyway. 

Sam spent most of the next week with Loki, cuddling and talking, they hit a few parties in ancient times and, at Sam’s request for curiosities sake, even went to Woodstock. They spent their nights making love until Sam fell asleep. After the first week, Sam started to spend a few hours a day in the crystal garden though. He needed to re-center himself and work through all the things that had been piling up for so long. It was amazing how quickly one could get used to having time to think and work through problems. That had been part of the reason he had been so hesitant to take time away from the real world. It would be too tempting to do it all the time. Got a tough split second decision to make? No worries. Go to some paradise where time doesn’t pass and take a few months to think about it then pop back in all refreshed and ready to go. It felt like a cheat. Not taking advantage of it at all obviously wasn’t working though so he needed to find some middle ground somewhere. 

They quickly settled back into the easy rhythm they had found the first time they had been here, and neither were in a rush to leave. Sam couldn’t help but feel torn. Part of him never wanted to go back to the real world. The world where his brother was about to die and go to hell for god only knew how long. Where forces far beyond him were trying to use them as pawns to start the apocalypse. The world filled with monsters and hunting and violence all the time. He knew he had to though. And soon. There was one thing he wanted to decide on before he went back though, and a few months later he had an answer. 

As he was headed back to the house just after sunset, he came in and found Loki sprawled on the couch watching a movie. He walked over and shoved his feet playfully off the couch and sat down, only to find said feet back in his lap as was routine. Sam took a deep breath to calm his nerves before he said, “Can we talk?” 

Gabriel immediately looked up at him with a frown and the television turned off as he sat up with a serious look on his face. “What’s up?”

“I…I’ve decided…about the bonding thing…I wanna do it…the answer is yes…” he hesitated a moment and Loki seemed to sense there was a but there. “But…I want to wait…until Dean gets back…even if he won’t accept it…I want him to know before…you know?” 

Gabriel smiled. The way the hunter had been so serious and hesitant he had thought it would be something bad. “That’s okay. I’d wait forever for you Samshine. You know that. As long as you know that the ceremony itself is a very private thing. I mean we can do like a human wedding with vows and stuff that other people can come to if you want…just not the bonding.”

“I don’t know. We’ll see how the chips fall before deciding on a wedding,” Sam told him. There was no point in having a wedding if no one would show up after all. 

“That sounds good,” Gabriel said, watching Sam as he seemed to be processing things. 

A wide grin broke out on Sam’s face. “We’re getting bonded,” he said in awe. “for all time.”

“Yeah,” Gabriel’s grin joined him. “As long as you’re sure…”

“I’m sure,” Sam said quickly interrupting him. 

“There’s no going back. Ever. No matter what,” Gabriel pointed out, still grinning. 

“Good,” Sam said grabbing him and pulling him in for a kiss. They didn’t make it up to the bedroom that time, but the next two times before Sam fell asleep they did.


	21. Chapter 21

The next morning, Sam was woken, per usual, with a kiss from his lover and he grinned. “Good morning, husband to be,” he said happily. 

“Mmm. I like the sound of that,” Gabriel said contentedly as he snapped his fingers and they had a great breakfast in bed. 

“I could definitely get used to this,” Sam chuckled as he dug in. 

“Oh Sammykins, you can have every meal in bed if you want,” Gabriel said with his own laugh. 

“That might be nice, except then I would never get out of bed and will all the good food you feed me I would end up five hundred pounds and then how would I keep you interested without this gorgeous body?” he joked. 

“Hmm. Good point. I mean without the body, what good are you?” Gabriel teased getting a fork in the arm in response before they both laughed. 

The remainder of breakfast was spent much the same way, teasing and laughter, until Sam turned to Loki and said, “We should probably go back.”

Gabriel sighed. He knew that was coming. “I know,” he said sadly. “Did you think of a story for your brother yet?” 

“Not a good one, but I don’t think there is a good one that would work in that situation,” Sam said ruefully. 

“I could always do a little extra memory modification if you want. Instead of thirty demons it could be three?” Gabriel suggested. 

“It won’t hurt him any will it? Changing his memory so much?” Sam asked. 

“If it would, would I do it?” Gabriel asked pointedly. 

“No. I guess not. Then yeah. Three will make it much more believable. But if you’re gonna do that, take out the running away part. We’d never run from only three demons.”

Gabriel laughed and shook his head as he agreed. “Whatever you say kiddo. So you wanna go now or wait until this afternoon?” 

“Now would probably be best. I don’t know if I’ll be able to make myself leave if we wait,” Sam said sadly. 

“I know the feeling,” Gabriel said pulling Sam into one more deep, longing kiss. “I love you, my Samshine.”

“I love you too, Lo. Always,” Sam whispered back before he found himself in his motel room as his brother was groaning and waking up and he put on his game face. “It’s about time you woke up,” he said annoyed. “I was about to take you to the hospital if you didn’t wake up soon.”

“What the hell?” Dean asked confusedly. 

“You got knocked unconscious. I had to drag your ass out of there, and then in here. I think you need to go on a diet,” Sam quipped. Okay so maybe he had been spending a little too much time with Loki. 

“I got…knocked out?” Dean asked squinting like he was trying to remember. “Oh come on,” he suddenly exclaimed. “I got knocked out by three demons in pink jogging suits? Seriously?” 

Sam tried not to laugh. He really did. He failed. Miserably. He nearly fell off the bed laughing so hard. Once he managed to control himself he played it off by saying, “Really Dean? That’s the detail you remember? Not the black eyes or the beating us senseless, but what they were wearing? And you say I’m the girl?”

“But…pink jogging suits, Sammy! What kind of self-respecting demon wears a pink jogging suit? And they weren’t even women!” Dean protested. And Sam was gone again. Only Loki. By the time Sam managed to pick himself up off the floor, Dean had his arms crossed pouting like a child. “Whatever, bitch. We gotta get a move on soon.”

“Where? We can’t possibly have another case already.”

“Morton house? Remember? It’s almost that time. We missed it last time when Dad thought he had a lead on the demon. I don’t want to miss it again.”

“Oh. Right. Of course,” Sam said. He had forgotten. One thing about spending time outside of time, it made it easy to lose track of time. And with that thought he almost managed to confuse himself. He shook his head to bring himself back to the present and started packing his bag, seeing that Dean was doing the same. 

When they encountered the ghostfacers there, Sam couldn’t help but roll his eyes and he waited until Dean went to sleep that night and called Loki. “Think you can manage to scare these idiots out of the business before someone gets hurt?” 

“I get to play on one of your cases? Really?” Gabriel asked hopefully rubbing his hands together in glee.

“As long as you don’t make the actual case more difficult than it has to be,” Sam qualified. They only had one night to get this thing after all.

“I’ll tell you what. I’ll make sure you get your answers and get the job done and I get to play unrestricted. Deal?” 

“Yeah. Okay. Deal,” Sam said. “But if I burst out laughing in the middle of a hunt I’m gonna slap you,” he said amused. 

“Hey how is it my fault if you have no self-control?” Gabriel asked with a laugh. 

“Pink jumpsuits, Lo? How’s a guy supposed to keep a straight face at that?” Sam asked laughing. 

“Gotta have a little fun with the guy,” Gabriel said with a cheeky wink at Sam. “Now what say I make sure Deano there doesn’t wake up and we have a little fun.”

“You weren’t already keeping him asleep?” Sam asked knowingly. 

“Obviously,” he rolled his eyes. “So we might as well take advantage of it hmm?” he asked, pushing the hunter back on the bed slowly and climbing on top of him. 

“Like I could ever say no to you,” Sam said fondly, pulling Loki down for a kiss. He didn’t stick around for long though. Sam needed to get some sleep. They waited until early morning to go to bed knowing they were going to be up all night working this case so they would sleep late. 

What followed was complete insanity, in every way. Ed and Harry ended up so traumatized the vowed to stay away from the supernatural world forever and their assistants…well they weren’t even speaking. Sam was sure that the death echo, apparition, whatever it was that had given him all the answers he needed was Loki’s doing, as was the utter chaos surrounding them, but they managed to get the bodies burned and everyone laid to rest, including the sick freak that started the whole mess in the first place and as they left they both vowed to each other to never speak of the experience again. And Sam vowed to himself to never invite Loki to play on one of their cases again. 

They wanted so badly to get the bad taste of that one out of their minds that they jumped on the next thing that came up, thin as it was. All they had was Bobby’s gut that the guy was no suicide, but hey. They’d taken worse. Sam started getting very suspicious when it came up that people were getting calls from dead loved ones trying to talk them into killing themselves and when Dean suddenly got a call from Dad, Sam refused to believe it for a second, but he couldn’t just dismiss it with no thought, much as he may want to, so when Dean went to sleep that night, he called Loki. “Could Dad really have a way out of the deal for Dean?” 

Gabriel knew the elder Winchester was in hell so he considered it for a moment. “No. I mean, if it weren’t for the whole apocalypse thing there might be a chance, however slim, that he made some sort of deal to get Dean out of his, but there is no way in…well…hell…that they would let Dean go. He’s their entire lynchpin. Not to mention the likelihood of him communicating from hell…over a telephone no less…is so improbable it’s nearly impossible and you know that’s not a word I use lightly.”

“Nearly impossible,” Sam repeated. “So there is a chance…” 

“Tell you what, I’ll stick close so I’m here next time it calls. I should be able to get a better read on what’s going on then, but don’t get your hopes up Sam-a-lam.”

“I won’t. And thanks, Lo.”

In the end Loki managed to tip Sam off just in the nick of time. Just in time to keep Dean from going after the ‘demon’ and they managed to kill the Crocotta, but Sam was a mess. He’d tried not to get his hopes up. He really had. He called Loki again that night. “Can we go home for a while, Lo?” he asked wearily. 

“Anytime, my Samshine,” he said running a hand through the hunter’s hair as they appeared back in their living room. “You wanna talk about it?”

“It’s just…hearing something else trying so hard to get Dean out of the deal, scam or not, just kinda threw it back in my face that I’m doing nothing. I can’t do it. I can’t think of anything. All that ingenuity you think I have is worthless. I’m just spinning my wheels.”

“Hey, Sammy, shh, it’s okay,” Gabriel said pulling the hunter close. He should never have told Sam that he might be able to think of something. He hadn’t realized then the weight that he was putting on the hunter’s shoulders. “It was always a one in a billion shot, you thinking of something. And your ingenuity is far from worthless. It will be the game-changer later. This is just one thing that even you can’t fix. I’m sorry, Samshine. I never meant to give you false hope.” Once again, Sam cried himself to sleep the first night there, and Gabriel had no illusions the next time would be any different. There wasn’t long left before Dean would be gone. He doubted they would be back here before then. But he would try to keep Sam here at least a week this time. Give him a chance to recharge. He knew any longer and it would just drag this last stretch out too long, but the hunter was fraying. At least he wasn’t shutting him out anymore, though.


	22. Chapter 22

As was usual, Gabriel stayed with Sam overnight as he slept. He used his grace to ease the hunter’s dreams while carding a hand through his thick hair as he wondered how he ever got so lucky. When Sam started to stir the next morning, Gabriel woke him with a kiss and Sam melted happily into it. 

Sam felt a little bad about always falling apart on Loki every time they came here and he wanted to make it up to him, so he shifted the god beneath him without breaking the kiss. When he felt Loki’s erection against his own, he moved his lips to the smaller man’s neck as he rolled his hips, pulling a pleased hum from the ethereal being beneath him. They were both wearing nothing but their boxers, as they always did when they slept so there wasn’t really much in the way of clothes to shed. Sam took his time as he trailed lips and teeth and tongue over his lover’s chest and stomach before sliding his boxers down and taking his length in his mouth. 

One hand slid between them and when he pressed one of his finger’s lightly against Loki’s tight hole, he found his fingers lubed. They had long worked out all the kinks in the process and Sam slid his finger in, going straight for the sweet spot. Loki arched up off the bed with a moan as his hand tightened in the hunter’s hair. It wasn’t long before the second finger joined the first and Sam was putting all of his considerable skills to use with both his mouth and his hands. He wanted to taste Loki first. By the time the third finger was sliding into the god’s tight ass, Loki was thrusting up into Sam’s mouth as his breathing sped up exponentially and Sam knew he was close. He started moving his fingers fast and hard into Loki as he took him down all the way to the root and swallowed around him giving a little hum and that was all it took to pull Loki over the edge. Sam slowed his fingers down, but didn’t stop. He was still going to fuck Loki after all. He would give him a minute to recover though. 

Sam had noticed that Loki always got super worked up with he played with the sensitive spots on his back, so much so that things finished far sooner than they normally would have and Sam had been working on a plan to make sure his lover got maximum pleasure. Once Sam had swallowed everything that Loki spilled he moved back up to kiss Loki soft and slow while he caught his breath and once Sam figured he had the strength he flipped him over and Loki quickly got his knees under him. Sam quickly stripped out of his boxers and slicked up his neglected cock before sliding slowly into the tight heat waiting for him. 

Once he was fully seated, he leaned down and started pressing soft kisses and licks over the sensitive spots on Loki’s back while both hands went to work on them as well. He started slow and gentle; light massages, soft brush of fingers and gradually increased the pressure as he increased his speed until he was moving over the god’s back with sharp bites, hard sucks, the scratch of fingernails, and deep rough massages and Loki was keening and moaning beneath him as Sam tried to draw it out as long as he could, but the way Loki was throwing his hips back into Sam with every thrust was working against him. 

After a while he noticed Loki’s movements change as he started to squirm and gasped out, “Wait…Sam…stop…” he hadn’t even finished the last word before the room was nearly filled with glorious golden wings and Loki let out a sound that Sam wasn’t even sure was human. “Fuckfuckfuckfuck…don’t…don’t stop…Sammy…please…fuck…” he changed his tune. Sam had stilled and his eyes went wide as the wings appeared, be he was brought back to reality with Loki’s whimper of, “Please…Sam…more…don’t stop,” as he pulled forward and pressed himself back on Sam’s still rock hard cock. 

Sam couldn’t help but reach out and touch the wings tentatively as he started moving in and out of his lover again, more slowly than before as his big brain was suddenly fighting for dominance. The sounds coming from Loki when Sam touched his wings were enough to shut the big brain up as he picked up the pace, burying his hands in the impossibly soft feathers as his lips and teeth and tongue continued working over the wing joints in Loki’s back. Sam had no idea what language was falling from his lover’s lips as he drove into him…if it even was a language and not just nonsensical babble. The more he found his footing the more he was able to drive Loki crazy and after a particularly sharp bite to one of the uppermost wing joints, Loki threw his head back and screamed as he came, the tight clenching around his length pulling Sam over the edge too and when they were spent, Loki collapsed on his stomach onto the bed, heaving his breaths, but rather than lay down with him, Sam pulled out and started backing away as his big brain finally took over. 

One look at the sprawled out being with the three sets of golden wings and the blonde hair splayed on the bed and only one thing came to mind. “Gabriel,” he breathed out, and he saw his lover wince at the name, before the wings disappeared, and he flopped over to his back with a pained look on his face. 

“Well I guess that cat’s out of the bag,” he said morosely. 

“But…what…why…why was the cat ever IN the bag?” Sam asked as his mind tried to keep up. 

“It’s a long story,” Gabriel sighed. 

“You know what…never mind. I…I can’t do this right now,” Sam said grabbing for his clothes. 

“Sammy…” Gabriel pleaded. 

“I just…I need some time to think…I…I’m sorry…Just…” that was all Sam could get out as he walked out of the room in a daze, still buttoning his pants, shirt thrown over his shoulder. 

As Sam walked out, Gabriel sighed and fought the tears prickling his eyes. He had known that it wouldn’t go over well when Sam found out. He knew that he should have told the hunter before. It just wasn’t something that was easy for him to talk about. At least Sam hadn’t seemed mad really. That was a good thing at least. He would be back. Gabriel had to believe that. He snapped his fingers and cleaned himself up, not bothering to replace his clothes as he sat up and rolled his shoulders, manifesting his wings again as he pulled them around to look at them for the first time since he had left heaven.


	23. Chapter 23

Sam headed out the door, not even realizing where his feet were taking him, but he wasn’t surprised at all when he found himself sitting on the island in the center of the crystal garden. It had become as much his thinking spot as it ever was Loki’s…Gabriel’s. Sam pinched the bridge of his nose. He really wasn’t mad. Not exactly. He didn’t know what he was, but he didn’t think it was mad. Hurt definitely. Confused, absolutely. But not mad. His lover was an archangel. His favorite archangel at that. The one he had spent most of his life praying to. And he had never told him. He had hidden something so big from him. He had hidden ‘himself’ and Sam didn’t know how to deal with that. 

Beyond the hurt and confused though, there was something more. The fact that he was an archangel instead of a pagan god brought all of Sam’s old insecurities to the forefront again. It was hard enough for him to accept being good enough for a pagan god, but an archangel? That was a whole different situation. He forced himself to remember everything that Loki…Gabriel…had said to him before. He reminded himself that while he may not have known what his lover was, that didn’t make him mean it any less, but how could he have really meant it…how could he have meant anything when he didn’t even trust Sam with the most basic information about himself. 

Sam sighed. He hadn’t come out here to analyze Gabriel’s motives or his feelings. He would talk to the archangel for that much. He’d come out here to try and wrap his head around the fact itself and figure out what he was feeling so he ‘could’ talk to Gabriel about it. It said a lot about how far they had come that the idea of not talking to him never even crossed his mind. Sam thought back on their interactions and he could see the signs now that he was looking for them. The way he had tensed up when Sam first asked what happened to Gabriel. They way he’d said ‘most’ thought he was dead. The fact that the tree topper he’d gotten Sam looked so much like him. The fact that he’d heard Sam’s prayer to Gabriel. He suddenly wasn’t sure just how invested he’d been in ‘hiding’ the fact. If he really wanted to hide something, Sam knew he wouldn’t even leave the slightest hint. 

That caused Sam to think harder and he remembered Gabriel’s wince when he’d said his name back there and the pain in his eyes as he looked up at Sam. At the time he’d thought it was just because he’d been caught, but he remembered the same wince and pain filled eyes the other two times the subject of Gabriel came up. Even when he’d given him the tree topper. Sure, it could have been worry about getting caught, but Sam didn’t think so. There may just be more to this than he knew. It didn’t make him any less hurt and confused. He didn’t think anything would. It did make him more determined to hear Gabriel out though. He would get everything out in the open and then make a decision about where they went from there. 

He had only been gone for about an hour and when he got back to the house, he headed back up to the bedroom when he didn’t see anyone in the living room. He hadn’t closed the door when he left and so the door was still open when he stepped into the doorway and he stopped short at the sight that met him. All he could see was a mass of wings on the bed. Apparently Gabriel had them wrapped around himself in a sort of cocoon and he could see them quivering and didn’t want to think about what that meant. “G-Gabriel?” he said hesitantly and even with the wings he could see the wince. 

He heard a heavy sigh as the wings slowly peeled away before disappearing and he finally saw Gabriel sitting there, hugging his knees to his chest with one hand while the other wiped tears from his face. “I haven’t been Gabriel in a long time, Sam,” he said in a haunted voice. 

“You lied to me,” Sam said more gently than he would have a moment ago.

“No. I didn’t. When I left heaven, I took in enough pagan to become one. I took on the name of Loki. I ‘am’ Loki. I ‘used to be’ Gabriel,” he told him. 

Sam sat gingerly on the far side of the bed as he considered that. “That doesn’t change the fact that you hid something so big from me. I feel like…I didn’t know your real name or even your real species…how real could any of this be?” 

Gabriel’s head snapped up to look at Sam as his heart started beating out of his chest in fear. Fear that this was the end. That this was the moment he lost the most important thing in existence. “This has been the most real thing I’ve ever known, Sam. Whatever else you think of me, please believe that.”

“But you didn’t trust me enough to tell me the truth. You didn’t respect me enough. You got upset when I was shutting you out but what do you call this?” Sam asked sadly. 

“It wasn’t about trust or respect, Sam,” Gabriel assured him. “It’s not easy for me to talk about…to even think about. The number of beings in existence that know that Gabriel is still alive are now two. Including me. Gabriel is…more like a nightmare from the past that I can’t completely shake,” he said with a shudder before he turned back to Sam with a slightly stronger demeanor. “But you can never say I shut you out. I gave you everything of me. Everything I am. I opened myself completely to you; more than I ever have with anyone. Even before…”

Sam was taken aback at the fire in those words and that more than anything else made him accept them. “Before what?” he asked gently. 

“Before everything went wrong,” was all he said as he laid his forehead on his knees. 

Sam couldn’t stand to see him so sad and broken and scooted over to him and placed his hand on the back of Gabriel’s head, running his fingers gently through his hair. “Were you ever going to tell me?” he asked softly. 

Gabriel nodded not lifting his head. “When we bonded…there should be no secrets between bondmates and then I could at least protect the information in your mind.”

“What do you mean protect the information?” Sam asked curiously. 

“When Dean gets back from hell you will be surrounded by angels, some of the strongest demons in hell will be walking the earth, and any of them can read your mind. They can pull any information they want to out of your head. Including who and what I am.”

Sam blinked a moment at that, hand stilling in Gabriel’s hair. Why wouldn’t he have led with that? Why go through all this when he had the perfect excuse? Sam couldn’t help the lump that formed in his throat as he realized why. He didn’t use the excuse because that’s all it would have been. An excuse. Not the real reason. He was being completely, blindingly honest. Baring his soul to Sam, and asking forgiveness. And he knew what he had to do. He gathered the archangel in his arms and rested his cheek on Gabriel’s head. “I forgive you. Not because of what you would have risked by telling me, but because of everything before that. Because I love you and you were right. You’ve given me everything of yourself and the only things you’ve hidden were the things you were hiding from yourself too. I get it. Really. I love you, no matter what your name is and no matter what you are. I love you for WHO you are and that hasn’t changed.”

Gabriel sighed with relief, but was too overcome to form words at the moment, so he just wrapped his arms around Sam and burrowed into his chest as the hunter laid them down on the bed and just held his lover close. There were no more words as they just lay there together and drank in each other’s presence coming to terms with everything that had changed and soothing the raw edges of their emotions. 

It was a few hours before the peaceful silence was broken by the rumbling of Sam’s stomach. Gabriel sighed. “I thought we had a deal. Even when we’re fighting you take care of yourself,” he said sadly. 

“I missed one meal,” Sam said with a fond smile at how much Gabriel worried about him. “It’s not like before when I didn’t eat for days. I miss meals all the time,” he pointed out. 

“Not here,” Gabriel said. “Not when I’m around.”

Sam kissed him softly. “I know. You always take such good care of me. I’m lucky to have you,” he placated his lover. 

“Damn straight,” Gabriel said with the beginnings of a smile. “So let’s go get you some lunch.”

“Whatever you say,” Sam chuckled following him out of the room.


	24. Chapter 24

Sam ate quickly before pulling Gabriel over to the couch and wrapping his arms around him and he hesitated a minute before he asked, “Will you tell me about it?” 

“About what exactly?” Gabriel asked wearily. 

“About what went wrong. Why you’re hiding,” Sam asked gently running a hand through Gabriel’s hair soothingly. He knew that the archangel didn’t want to talk about it, but he couldn’t shake the feeling that it would help him. Getting it off his chest. If no one else had ever known he was alive, then he couldn’t have had anyone to talk to about all this before. That was a long time to bottle things up. 

Gabriel sighed. “You wanna hear the real story of heaven and hell?” he asked skeptically, wanting to be sure the hunter knew exactly what he was asking for. “You realize that it will destroy any idealism you may have left on the subject.”

“I know, I do,” Sam said tightening his arms around his lover reassuringly. 

“Well the best place to start is the beginning. When I was created, I had three older brothers, a father and an aunt. Auntie though was a real piece of work. Hated everyone and everything. Just wanted to be left alone in the dark to brood. Dad had already created heaven, but it was small. Basically like this little pocket of the universe, though far grander. Or less grand depending on how you look at it. Think of it like a cross between the gardens here and an island paradise and multiply it by twenty. That’s where we all grew up. Michael and Lucifer were twins, though Michael always considered himself the elder since he was created first by a few seconds, and they were the best of friends. Michael tended to be a bit of a stick in the mud though. He was always trying to be dad, even when dad was still there,” Gabriel started. 

Sam already had a hundred questions but he held his tongue. Now that Gabriel was talking he needed to get it all out. He didn’t want to risk interrupting and have Gabriel shut down again. He would wait until the end to ask his questions. If the archangel didn’t need his support so much he would grab his notebook and start writing them down like before when he’d gotten the low down on the apocalypse, but Gabriel needed him right now. 

“Despite that, he was a good brother. He always looked out for us and helped us. He and Lucifer taught Raphael and I everything we knew. Lucifer was the best though, and I know that you humans think of him as some kind of villain, but he wasn’t then. He was the perfect big brother. He taught us how to have fun, play pranks, and just be kids. He was a being of pure joy. The light bringer he was called because he brought light and laughter everywhere he went. He and Michael were the perfect balance. Two sides of a coin. Just like father created them.” 

“Next came Raphael. He was just a few years, relatively speaking, older than me. Michael and Lucifer were approximately the equivalent of ten year olds when he came around and they took him under their wing. It had been the first time father had created something without a balance. Everything needs a balance as he learned as Raphael grew up. He was…difficult…to say the least. Michael was the only one who could keep him the slightest bit in line. Dad wanted to fix his mistake by creating me to balance him out the way Michael and Lucifer kept each other balanced, but it didn’t work as well as he wanted. It had been too long. Raphael was cold and cruel. He was more like Dad’s sister than anything else. Maybe that’s where the issues first started. The balance started shifting further apart.” Gabriel could tell that Sam was confused so he tried to explain. “Think of it as a line. Not good and evil, but dark and light. Michael and Lucifer were on either side of that line, but close to the line. Close enough to keep each other tethered. Raphael didn’t have any such tether, so he drifted further away so by the time I was created he was too far away for my existence to affect him so much. Dad and Auntie were both about as far from the line as they could get and Dad wanted to prove that you could have balance without going to extremes and that’s why he made Michael and Lucifer.”

Gabriel realized that he was getting way off track so tried to refocus. “So anyway, Raphael was off the rails and then I came into the picture. I was a lot like Lucifer. Light and love and joy and they took to me right away. Raphael was insanely jealous though. Michael always felt a little more of a responsibility towards him as the only one he would listen to, and as the representation of what Raphael should be, so a lot of his time was spent with Raphael, so Lucifer was the main one to raise me, though Michael helped as much as he could and Dad was always around and we were happy. It was truly heaven and it lasted for a long time. Billions of years if time had any meaning back then, but even Dad couldn’t fight his nature forever. He was creation in its purest form, so he created. He created worlds and galaxies and life, but Auntie, content to leave us be in our little corner of the universe, objected heavily to the expansion and took to her own nature of destruction. Everything dad created she destroyed.”

Gabriel sighed. They were getting to the beginning of the end now. “Finally dad had enough. The four of us started training to fight her. We trained for more than half our lives before the battle. I was always the weakest. The same lack of tether that affected Raphael, affected me too. Where he tended toward cruelty, I tended toward gentleness. I wasn’t a fighter, but I had to do my part. I…I nearly died. I was pulled into the darkness and Lucifer dived in after me and brought me back. In the end, we managed to get her locked away, and Dad entrusted the key to Lucifer. A binding to his grace holding her door forever closed. No one knew that in one last act of revenge she had turned the key into a curse.”

Sam’s arms tightened around Gabriel as he could guess what was coming. “It took a long time for it to take him. None of us noticed. Father kept creating, more worlds, more stars, more angels. It wasn’t until the creation of this world, when Dad created humans; created souls and asked us to love them and care for them. Lucifer refused. That was the first clue. Lucifer was always filled with love. For everything. Dad sent him down here to live among the humans. To learn first-hand why they deserved love, but he still refused. It was Michael that figured it out. That realized that it was the mark corrupting him. Dad refused to listen. He was stubborn. He wanted nothing to do with Lucifer until he ‘came to his senses’. Raphael didn’t care at all. He never liked Lucifer. Saw him as competition. Michael and I though, we cared. We came down to earth, only time Michael ever went against orders, to talk to Lucifer. To explain what was going on.”

Gabriel took a deep breath, steeling himself for the rest of the story. “Lucifer had an idea. He wanted to come home. He wanted to be better. Most of all though, he realized the danger of his kind of power going bad, so he found a human, Abel, the jealous younger son of Adam and Eve and started trying to convince him to take the mark from him. His brother Cain, caught Abel talking to Lucifer though and offered to carry the burden himself to save his little brother from it. Lucifer agreed and gave Cain the mark, glad to be free of it. He wasn’t free though. It was turning Cain, yes, but it still had a hold on him as well. He wasn’t getting any better. He was still getting worse. When Cain snapped and killed his brother…the brother he worked so hard to protect, what was left of the real Lucifer got scared. He built the cage, put hundreds of locks on it and locked himself in. He left a way to open it in case we were ever able to find a cure and sealed himself away from everyone and everything in the world, expecting it to be forever. The idea of killing one of us, one of his brothers, terrified him that much.”

“Things got worse though. When Cain died, he woke again as a demon. His soul was shriveled and blackened and he had powers to rival a seraph’s. He took to creating more like him. He would find and tempt souls. Turn them away from heaven and tear them apart and rebuild them as demons. By the time Dad stepped in and locked them away in hell, it was too late. They were strong enough to slip past the gates, in small numbers, to continue their work and since the concept of free will came with the nature of the soul, there was nothing Dad could do about the people who chose hell. Dad…he blamed Michael and I because of our interference and he left. No one has ever heard from him since. Michael shifted that blame to me because it had been my idea. I had been the one who talked him into it. He threw himself into being the perfect son. Obedient to a fault. He took all of Dad’s plans and started working towards their completion, even ahead of schedule. He believed that if he could finish what Dad started he would come back. He would forgive him.”

“Michael, having lost his own tether, started to go the way of Raphael, but where Raphael had no purpose, just blind hate and cruelty, Michael had a single-minded vision, damn who or what he destroyed in the process. The seraphs became an army, waging war against so many worlds in so many far reaches of the galaxy. Everywhere sentient life had cropped up, ‘destroying’ our father’s perfect vision of those worlds with their buildings and their tools and their technology. Our happy loving family had become cold and calculating. They were able to ‘re-educate’ the seraphs, meaning brainwashing, but as an archangel they couldn’t do that to me so they had to resort to other methods. It was…I don’t even have words. I couldn’t take anymore so I faked my death and ran. I’ve been running ever since.”

Gabriel was trembling by the end and the tears had been falling on Sam’s arms and shoulder for most of the story, but Gabriel had kept talking. It seemed Sam was right. He needed to get it off his chest. Sam’s tears were flowing by the end of the story as well and just held Gabriel tight and whispered, “I’m sorry, Gabriel.”

“Don’t…” Gabriel started to say. 

“Just listen to me for a second…please.” Gabriel stopped talking and Sam shifted them so that he could look Gabriel in the eye. “It sounds like you are the last TRUE angel. The last of what your father sought to create. You shouldn’t run from that. I understand running from heaven and from your brothers after all that and you know I’ll always back whatever play you make, but don’t run from who you are. From WHAT you are. YOU are your father’s legacy. The last one. Don’t throw it away, Gabriel. Embrace it.”

“I can’t stand against them, Sam,” Gabriel said brokenly. 

“I’m not asking you to. I’m not asking you to tell the world who and what you are. I’m not asking you to put yourself on the line. You’ve been working from the shadows and you should keep doing so. I don’t want to risk losing you. Not for anything. Not even if it means the end of the world. You keep yourself safe. That’s the most important thing.” Sam wanted to make sure that was completely understood. He wanted no confusion on that point and when he saw Gabriel accept it, he continued. “What I am asking is for YOU to accept who and what you are. And let me accept it too. Don’t hide from yourself and don’t hide from me. The rest of the world is up to you.”

“I…I can try,” Gabriel said softly. Sam made a lot of sense. Having it all out there. Having someone understand. It made a difference. A big one. 

“Thank you…Gabriel,” Sam said the name pointedly and the archangel gave him a tentative smile. 

“No, Sam. Thank YOU.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My power is back yay! and four days earlier than predicted. I didn't get as much writing done as I had hoped, but I have a few chapters for you once I get them typed up, so look out for incoming in the next few hours :)

Gabriel managed to keep Sam at the house for a week like he’d planned, and this time Gabriel was the one to suggest going back to the real world. He wanted to get these last two weeks over with and deal with the fallout. “Hey Gabe, can I ask you something?” Sam asked before they went back. 

“What’s up Samsquatch?” 

“I know that when we come here, time doesn’t move at all, but can it if I want it to?” 

“Yes and no. This is a different dimension. This is outside of the normal time stream so time doesn’t really exist here. I can pop us back into the time stream at any point after we left, the only thing is that once we go to a forward point, that future is fixed and we can’t change anything that came before it,” Gabriel explained. 

“So let’s say for example, I wanted to jump forward to when Dean came back, as far as anyone knows I would be missing until then?” Sam clarified. 

“Exactly. If we were to go now to the time that Dean comes back, he would live these last two weeks without you. Of course that would be assuming that we knew exactly when Dean would be back,” Gabriel told him. 

“Would it be possible to shift this dimension in the normal one for a while?” Sam asked. 

“What are you thinking?” Gabriel asked curiously. If he knew exactly what Sam wanted, it would be much easier to figure out a solution. 

“Well once Dean is…gone…and we come back here, I was hoping we could stay on normal time until he gets back,” Sam explained. 

Gabriel thought for a second. “I should be able to create a link between this dimension and the normal one. An anchor of sorts,” he paused as he considered the idea. “I know. I’ll set it up where your phone will work and the phone signal should keep us linked with the real world and give him a way to contact you when he gets back.”

“That would be great!” Sam said as cheerfully as he could manage when talking about such a grim subject. That decided, they headed back to the real world that night and Sam went to bed. 

The next morning Dean looked at Sam suspiciously. This was the third time that he had suddenly seemed to completely destress overnight and it was just weird. It quickly got put out of his mind with the next case though. They thought their father had killed old doc bennet years ago, but apparently that wasn’t the case. It did give Sam an idea though. An outside the box idea. He wouldn’t risk becoming a monster to save his brother, but maybe Gabriel could help him instead. Once they had the old doctor locked up underground in an old fridge, he waited until Dean went to bed again and called Gabriel. 

“What if we were able to keep Dean alive? I mean he has to die to go to hell right? Is there any way you could keep him alive?” Sam asked. 

“It won’t work,” Gabriel told him. The hellhounds will come for him. The only way to keep him alive would be to put myself right in their path and keep healing him as they tear him apart and I couldn’t keep that up forever and even if I could he would still feel the pain. He wouldn’t be much worse off in hell and that’s if the hellhounds didn’t turn on me. Angels and hellhounds aren’t exactly the best of friends. Even if there were a long term way to hide him from the hellhounds, the soul isn’t created to live forever on this plane. It will start to deteriorate the longer it’s here and he will become little more than a monster. The only way around it is to bind his soul to an angel in the marriage bind like we will be.”

“And I’m guessing that’s not an option,” Sam said defeated. 

“Nope. Even if I did still know any other angels, the chances that we could trust them is pretty slim, not to mention their willingness to risk their lives and become the most hunted being in the universe by both heaven and hell. Besides, it would have to be done completely willingly by both parties, and it’s not something that should EVER be used as a means to an end.”

“Right. Yeah. I get that. Just grasping at straws,” Sam said seeing how offended the archangel was at the idea. 

“I know, Samshine. It’s okay. I just don’t like the idea of something so pure and special being used like that,” Gabriel told him understandingly. 

“Make sure Dean doesn’t wake up and stay with me?” Sam asked hopefully. 

“Anytime, Samshine,” Gabriel said with a smile. He knew that they wouldn’t be sleeping together tonight. Sam just needed him to be there, and he didn’t mind a bit. He propped up on his elbow next to the hunter and ran his fingers through Sam’s hair as he drifted off to sleep. 

When Dean came up with the idea to go after the demon that held his deal, Gabriel told Sam specifically not to do so under any circumstances and Sam managed to talk his brother out of it. Barely. Though it did result in a huge argument where Dean accused Sam of not caring that he was going to hell which caused Sam to rail at him again about making the deal in the first place. Neither of them wanted to fight this close to the end though so it boiled over quickly enough. 

When the day came, Dean brought up something that he had deliberately waited until the last minute to bring up. “You can’t be here Sammy.”

“The hell I can’t,” Sam said indignantly.

“I mean it Sammy. I can’t have you here. When…when the hellhounds come for me…you’ll try to interfere. I know you will. I would. And I can’t worry about what will happen then. If they’ll turn on you too. If you’ll get hurt trying to uselessly save me.” Besides, Sam really didn’t need to see that. Dean didn’t want that to be Sam’s last memory of him. “Please Sammy. Consider it my dying wish if you have to, but please go.”

Sam sighed. He knew Dean was right. The idea of leaving his brother to die alone though…he hated it. He reluctantly agreed and wrapped his brother in the tightest hug he could as the tears started to fall. Sam was only slightly surprised when Dean returned the hug with just as much vigor. Sam could tell that Dean was only trying to hold it together for his sake. 

That was another reason Dean needed Sam to leave. He was on the verge of falling apart and he didn’t want his little brother to see him like that. “Take good care of my baby, Sammy,” he whispered, that being the most volume he was capable of at the moment. “Have a good life,” he said even quieter. 

Sam nodded against Dean’s shoulder before he reluctantly let go. He couldn’t resist one last piece of advice, even though he knew his brother wouldn’t take it. “Don’t be difficult. Don’t make things harder than they have to be. Just keep your head down and do what you’re told. Do whatever they want. Make it as easy on yourself as you can. Please. For me,” Sam begged through his tears. 

“I will, Sammy,” Dean lied. He planned to make those bastards wish they had never encountered Dean Winchester. Telling Sam that right now wasn’t really an option, though. He would tell his brother what he needed to hear right now. 

Sam felt horribly guilty that he couldn’t tell Dean that he would be getting out. That all he needed to do is exactly what they said and then he would be free. He knew why he couldn’t. He knew that it could destroy everything, including the world. He had given Dean as much as he could. He just hoped when everything came out later that his brother would understand that. As Sam drove away, he didn’t get more than a few blocks before he called Gabriel who appeared next to him in the car and pulled him close. “He wouldn’t let me be there,” Sam said brokenly. 

“I know, Samshine. He’s right though. You shouldn’t be there. You don’t need to see that. You don’t need that on your shoulders,” Gabriel said softly as he ran his fingers through the hunter’s hair soothingly. “Do you want to go home for a while?” he couldn’t help asking even though he knew it would be a very bad idea. 

“No. I need to see this through first. Get everything taken care of. Then we can go home and I can fall apart,” Sam said, the words alone giving him the strength to do so as he sat up and wiped his tears and started driving again. 

“I’ll be right here, Sam. The whole time. I’m not going anywhere,” Gabriel told him, squeezing his hand reassuringly. 

They got to another nearby motel, and they ended up sitting on the bed with Gabriel holding Sam as the hunter just watched the clock in silence. Waiting for midnight and wishing it would never come. Gabriel went into meditation while Sam was occupied with that, not wanting to pull him away from his silent vigil and needed to brace himself for the coming storm as well. He would freely admit that Sam would have it worse, but this would hurt him too. 

Gabriel was jerked out of his meditative state by the sound of the alarm blaring at midnight and Sam jumped up and headed out the door leaving Gabriel to follow. The archangel ended up having to fly into the front seat because he wasn’t quick enough to get there before Sam left. He wasn’t offended at being forgotten though. He wasn’t here for attention. He was here to be whatever Sam needed. 

When they got back to the other motel, Gabriel said, “Meet you inside,” and disappeared. He didn’t want Sam to see his brother in the state he would be in right now. As it was he just barely had enough time as Sam came barreling in the door just as the last of the gaping wounds closed and Dean almost looked asleep. “You didn’t need to see that,” Gabriel said softly. 

Sam didn’t say a word as he lifted his brother’s body from the floor, ignoring the claw marks on the carpet and pointedly not wondering which ones were from Dean trying to get away. As he laid his brother out on the bed and fell to his knees beside the bed, Gabriel knew he had to take the reigns here. He took Sam’s phone from his pocket and called Bobby, in Sam’s voice of course, to tell him it was over and where they were. He knew Sam wanted the old man here and if anyone was going to get through to Sam right now it was him. 

Bobby arrived about an hour later. They hadn’t been far from Sioux Falls, and he quickly took over while a now invisible archangel ran his fingers through Sam’s hair and rubbed his back soothingly, making sure the young hunter knew that he was still there. He was glad Bobby backed off as quickly as he had when Sam refused to allow a hunter’s funeral for Dean. He was also glad that the old man didn’t question the pristine state the body was in. Oh Gabriel wasn’t blind. He could see the questions burning in his mind, but he apparently realized that this wasn’t the place or time for them. 

After they got Dean in the ground, somewhere reasonably close to a phone and vehicles to hotwire, not that Bobby knew that was why Sam chose that spot, Sam turned to his father figure and said, “I’m gonna take off for a while.”

“Sam…” Bobby said warningly. 

“I won’t do anything stupid or reckless, Bobby. I know better. I just need…I need some time away,” he told him. 

“Keep your phone handy and check in from time to time?” Bobby asked gruffly and more than a little concerned. 

“I will. And feel free to call me if there’s an emergency,” Sam told him. An emergency like my brother rising from the dead, he didn’t say. 

“Where are you going?” Bobby asked, feeling a little better about the situation now. 

“I don’t know yet. Just…away,” Sam said haunted. 

“Okay. Take care of yourself kid. And don’t be a stranger,” Bobby told him, pulling him into a hug. 

“I won’t Bobby. Thank you,” Sam told him, hugging him just as tightly.

Once Bobby left, Gabriel reappeared at Sam’s side. “Home now?” Sam asked hopefully, on the verge of another breakdown. The next thing he knew, he was in their bed and Gabriel was holding him resolutely as he sobbed.


	26. Chapter 26

This time it was a few days before Sam snapped out of his funk. He had been walking around like a zombie, doing everything on automatic, not saying a single word and Gabriel was right there next to him, making sure he ate and slept and showered, rubbing his back or his hair or his hands in still moments, not bothered at all that he went completely unnoticed. He was just a silent beacon of support. If this went on too long he would step in and do something about it, but Sam needed time to grieve. He would give him that time. 

In the end, it was something so minor and was a complete accident that snapped Sam out of it. When Sam had been sleeping at night, Gabriel would take an hour or two away, while keeping an alert on Sam’s dreams of course, to deal with his own grief down in the crystal garden. Sam happened to wake up during one of those times and panicked. Gabriel popped right back as soon as he felt Sam start to lose it, but the hunter just grabbed onto him tightly. “I’m sorry, Gabe. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to shut you out. I’m sorry.”

Gabriel realized that when Sam woke up alone he had assumed the worst. That Gabriel was abandoning him and latched onto the first reason he could think of, i.e. the same reason they had fought before. “Hey Samshine,” the archangel said soothingly. “It’s okay. We’re okay. There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he assured his distraught lover. 

It took a few minutes for that to register with Sam, before he started to relax and calm down a bit. “So you’re not…mad at me?” he asked in a small voice, hating himself for it, but knowing that if it weren’t for Gabriel he would have nothing to keep him going. He desperately needed his angel right now.

“No, Samshine. I’m not mad at you. Not at all.”

“Where…um…where were you?” Sam asked, not wanting to make it seem like Gabriel had to be at his side every second, but still wanting to know. 

“I was just down at the crystal garden. Thinking.”

That was when Sam remembered Gabriel talking about how much he liked Dean and thought of him as a brother and realized that Gabriel would be hurting and grieving too, and Sam had just been ignoring him. “I’m sorry Gabe. I…I never thought how you would be feeling. I should have…”

“It’s okay, Sammy. Really,” Gabriel assured him. 

“No. It’s not,” Sam said firmly. “From now on we grieve together. Like we should have been all along.” Gabriel just nodded as he held the hunter tightly. 

After that, things changed. They spent a few hours a day together at the crystal garden, talking about Dean. Sam did most of the talking of course, but Gabriel did have some to contribute with his unique insight and the rest of the day was spent together. Neither of them were up to much fun and most of it consisted of moping, but at least they were doing it together now. Over time though they started to move on. They started going out more, and now that they were keeping in touch with time, Gabriel could take Sam out places in the modern world too. They quickly found that Sam wasn’t as big a fan of the whole rave scene as Gabriel was. It wasn’t much different than some of the parties they had been to in the past, but at least then Sam had the historical part of it to take in and amuse himself as well. They started going to more sedate night clubs and bars that they could both enjoy and saved the raves for the parties in ancient times. 

Despite getting better, Sam was still on edge. He realized by the end of the first few weeks that Dean wasn’t doing what he said he would do or the seal would have broken already. Gabriel had assured Sam that he would know when the seal broke and it hadn’t yet, which meant that Dean was being difficult. Sam wasn’t really surprised. He had figured his brother was just fobbing him off with that promise, but it still drove him crazy. He kept in touch with Bobby, calling the old hunter every few weeks just to check in. He was always vague about where he was, and when he did give a location it was usually the last town he and Gabriel had hit on one of their nights out. He was glad to hear that Bobby was doing better too. Part of him felt bad for disappearing on him like that, knowing that Bobby would be grieving too, but he knew the old man preferred to grieve alone. Sam could at least give him the peace of mind of knowing that Sam wasn’t going off the rails. 

It was about three months since Dean had been taken when Sam and Gabriel had been dancing at a club and the archangel stumbled and grabbed his head. Sam helped him to the nearest booth as he waited for Gabriel to collect himself. Sam was pretty sure he knew what that meant but he needed to hear the words. It was a few minutes before Gabriel spoke and said, “The seal has been broken. The garrison has been sent to get him.”

“How long?” Sam asked on tenterhooks. 

“I don’t know. Depends on how much resistance they meet. A few weeks? A month tops,” Gabriel told him. 

“But wouldn’t they just let him go now that he’s done his part? Isn’t he needed alive for the rest anyway?” Sam asked curiously before looking around and remembering they were in public. 

Apparently Gabriel had the same thought because the next thing he knew they were sitting on their couch. “Well for one thing, only the highest level demons know of the plans and they won’t be in on the fighting. The rest will just know that angels are coming down to try and steal one of their souls. Besides, the ones who do know of the plan want Lucifer to win and the best way to do that would be to deny Michael his true vessel so that he has to make due with a substandard backup.” Gabriel saw the worry starting to creep into Sam’s face so he quickly added, “Don’t worry. The angels will win. One way or another. It’s just a matter of how long it will take and how many they will lose in the process.”

Gabriel hadn’t been able to keep the sadness out of his voice as he said that and Sam picked up on it. “You mean how many of your brothers and sisters will be lost…lost trying to save my brother.”

“They aren’t my family anymore, Samshine,” Gabriel said morosely. “They bear no resemblance whatsoever to the family I loved. You’re my family now. You and Dean and even the old man.”

Sam knew that Gabriel really meant that, but he didn’t buy for a second that the archangel didn’t care about the angels that could and would be lost. They were his little brothers and sisters. He had raised them, taught them, nurtured them, and no amount of brainwashing on their part could ever erase that from Gabriel’s mind. Sam knew better than to bring that up though so he just held Gabriel close and tried to comfort him as best he could. 

 

Over the next few weeks, Gabriel would often zone out like he was listening to something and he would get frequent headaches. Sam would wait patiently for him to refocus and sometimes he would share what he heard, but other times he would keep quiet and Sam didn’t push. He knew what Gabriel was listening to. He was rather concerned about the headaches though. “Should you be getting headaches like that? Do all angels get them?”

“I’m a rather special case. I’m not really used to it anymore. My head has been relatively silent for millennia. I even have a filter for prayers. I only hear the most desperate and the ones from people I’m specifically attuned to like you and your brother and the old man. I’m also trying to listen without being noticed which takes a bit more effort. Add to that the fact that all the pagan essence I’ve taken in tends to react badly with the angelic stuff so yeah I’m not surprised that I’m having headaches and no, other angels don’t.”

Sam wasn’t going to ask why he bothered listening if it hurt so much. He knew. Gabriel had to know what was going on. How his family was doing. How many were dying and he wanted to be the first to know when Dean was back. Having long covered the subject of there being nothing Sam could do to help with the headaches, the hunter turned to the next issue. “We should probably figure out how we’re going to do this once Dean is back.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. I was thinking, as soon as I get word that he’s back, I’ll bring him here. They have no sense of tact and would make him dig his way out of his own grave and that’s not a memory anyone needs. I’ll stop time again and do all the explanations and once we’re all settled, I’ll plant an illusion of him crawling out of the grave for the benefit of the watchers and then I’ll send him back and we can continue like normal.”

“Will they be fooled by the illusions?” Sam asked curiously. 

“I can weave an illusion strong enough to fool any seraph. The only issue would be if Mikey or Raphy were watching, but that’s unlikely to the point of absurd, and even if they were, they wouldn’t be able to tell who did it,” Gabriel explained. 

“Okay. That all sounds good, but for the explanations let’s not tell him who and what you really are. At least not at first.”

Gabriel raised a curious eyebrow at the hunter. “Not that I’m complaining because I was going to suggest the same thing, but why do you say that?” He had expected the hunter to argue the opposite point thinking that it would be easier for his brother to accept help from an archangel than from a monster.

“Until we know how he’s going to react, I don’t want to take any chances with your life. You say the angels are going to be around for a while and if he gets pissy and blabs your secret then you will be at far too much risk,” Sam explained. 

Gabriel couldn’t help but kiss him soundly at that. That had been the very point he’d been planning to make, but the fact that Sam cared more about Gabriel’s safety than his brother’s comfort just brought to mind again just how much Sam loved him. “I was also thinking when he gets here, I should be out of sight. Let you two have your reunion and then come back for the explanations. Or you could do the explanations also and I could come back later. However you think is best.”

“I’ll want you there for most of it, but maybe the initial you’re out of hell because the angels want to use you part I could do and then you could come help explain the details?” Sam suggested. Gabriel easily agreed. That all decided, they had nothing left to do but wait.


	27. Chapter 27

It was only a few days later and they were curled up on the couch watching a movie when Gabriel suddenly tensed and sat straight up. “He’s back. Incoming,” he said quickly and the next thing Sam knew Gabriel was gone and Dean was standing in the middle of the room looking confused. Sam immediately swept his brother up in a hug and Dean hung on for dear life. 

“S-Sammy? W-what…how…” he stammered for a moment before he jumped back like he’d been scalded. “What did you do?” he asked alarmed. 

“Nothing, Dean. It wasn’t me. I swear,” Sam assured him. 

“Oh yeah? Then why don’t you seem surprised to see me?” Dean asked accusatorily. “I swear to god Sam if you traded yourself for me…”

“I didn’t! I’ll explain everything if you’ll give me a chance,” Sam said trying to calm his brother down. 

“Okay. Fine. Talk,” Dean said skeptically as he sat gingerly in the armchair across from his brother. 

“I’m not surprised to see you because I knew you would be coming back. Not because of anything I did, but because you and I are both being used. You went to hell for a reason and when you did what they wanted they pulled you back out,” Sam told him. 

Dean just sat there and blinked at him a moment. “You knew…how long did you know?” Dean asked gearing up for a rant. 

“Since I found out you made the deal in the first place,” Sam said bracing himself. 

“And you didn’t tell me?! Damnit Sam! How many times have I told you not to keep shit from me!? You didn’t think I deserved to know?!” 

“Just shut up and think for a second!” Sam snapped and Dean did so more out of surprise than anything else. “If you had known you were getting out, you would have had to try to keep the secret under torture or risk all of them knowing that we knew more than we should and then that would blow everything.”

Dean narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “How did you know?” 

“I had help,” Sam said trying not to let his nerves show. “We have been working to minimize the damage, but we wanted to wait to make any further plans until you came back and could be part of it.”

“What help? Who’s we?” Dean asked dangerously. 

“That would be me,” Gabriel said sauntering into the room. 

“YOU! You bastard I killed you!” Dean said charging at the little god only to find his brother in the way. 

Gabriel laughed. “I appreciate the thought, Sammykins, but you know he can’t hurt me,” Gabriel said smugly as he walked out from behind Sam and plopped down on the couch. 

“That doesn’t mean I want to watch him try,” Sam retorted, staying between his brother and Gabriel, causing the archangel to shake his head fondly. 

“How are you not dead?” Dean asked hatefully. 

“Please,” Gabriel rolled his eyes. “I AM the trickster.”

“Look, Dean,” Sam started firmly. “Are you going to calm down and listen or do we have to send you back to play right into their hands?”

“You would do that?” Dean asked incredulously. 

“We’re trying to stop the apocalypse here, Dean. The one that your idiocy started. That’s a little more important than old grudges don’t you think? If you can’t play nice then we’ll just have to do it without you.”

“The apocalypse? How the hell did ‘I’ start it?” Dean asked skeptically. 

“We would be happy to explain it all if you want to sit and let us,” Gabriel made his foray into the conversation.

“Any why should I trust anything you have to say,” he narrowed his eyes at the god sitting there with his feet on the table. “You ARE a trickster.”

“Actually, I’m THE trickster. Loki, Norse god of mischief at your service,” he said with a slight bow. “But even I know that there are some things beyond jokes and pranks.”

“You should trust him because I do, Dean. And because you trust me,” Sam said knowing that wouldn’t help in the slightest. 

“And why would you trust him?” Dean asked suspiciously. “And why are you helping us?” he asked Loki just as suspiciously. “I get the feeling I’m missing something here.”

“I’m helping because I realized when I met you mooks back at that college that Samsquatch here is my soul mate and I couldn’t just let Lucifer have him,” Gabriel said realizing that he was just dropping a bomb here, but they had to get over this before anything else could be hashed out.

“Wait a minute…so you two have been…together,” he said the word disgustedly, “since then?” 

Gabriel started to open his mouth to protest his attitude, but Sam waved him off. “I got it, Lo,” he said before turning to Dean. “First of all, I get that you’re being blindsided with this whole thing, but that tone is uncalled for…”

“Uncalled for? You’re sleeping with a monster, Sam!” Dean said heatedly. 

“He has never killed anyone, so the only thing that would make him a monster is the fact that he’s not human and if that’s what you think then we have some serious problems,” Sam said firmly trying to remember the fact that Dean didn’t know that no one actually died. 

“The professor and the researcher? Remember? He killed them,” Dean pointed out. 

“Actually, I didn’t. Professor rapist and torture researcher were just sent to a nice little out of the way place where they can be taught to mend their ways and hopefully their souls before they end up where you just came from. The dead bodies…and parts…were just illusions I created so no one would be looking for them,” Gabriel said lazily. 

“What kind of place,” Dean asked suspiciously. 

“A secluded monastery,” Gabriel said with a smug smile. 

“So you’ve never killed anyone?” Dean asked with narrowed eyes. 

“Not a soul,” Gabriel said seriously meeting the hunter’s eyes. 

“But you’re a trickster,” Dean said trying to understand. 

“One thing you have to understand about us old gods. We’re not the murderous creatures you think us to be. We used to have a very symbiotic relationship with humans. We got power from their worship of us and we used a portion of that power to take care of them; give them good crops, keep them from storms, heal plagues, and it was all well and good. Then when people stopped believing, we got less and less power. Most of us learned to conserve what we had, but in the last couple hundred years some of them have gone crazy and started taking blood instead of worship to get more power, which was always forbidden, and that’s when hunters started thinking of us as monsters. Hell I used to work with hunters from time to time when one amused me enough. I even helped Samuel Colt build that neat little gun you used to have.”

“That gun…” Dean started. 

“Is hidden somewhere that no one will ever be able to use it again. I swear I could have wrung his neck when I found out he had used it as a key to a hell gate. That’s why I got you the demon killing knives instead,” Gabriel told him. 

“And you…you knew all this?” Dean turned to Sam. 

“Yeah. I did.” Before Dean could work up a good head of steam again, Sam cut him off. “Contrary to what you believe, we didn’t get together at the college, just because I was afraid of what you would think and I didn’t like the idea of hiding it from you. When I died, Loki had just tracked down my soul and was bringing me back when you sold yours and then you were on your way to hell and I couldn’t tell you about him when it could be tortured out of you. If they knew that we had someone powerful on our side trying to keep us out of their hands everything would be a thousand times harder. But that’s when we got together.”

“So you just let me go to hell because you knew I would get back out?” Dean asked incredulously. 

“If you think for one second that we didn’t work our asses off and do everything in our power to stop it you’re nuts,” Sam snapped. 

“And when exactly have you two been sneaking around? You were always with me,” Dean asked. 

“Time doesn’t pass here unless I let it. I could pull Sam out and then pop him right back in at the same moment he left. We have been together more than two years that way. A year and a half here, outside of time, just the two of us.”

“In fact, we are going to bond,” Sam chimed in, wanting to get this out of the way. “We wanted to wait until you got back. It didn’t feel right taking such a permanent step while keeping it secret from you. I wanted you to know first.” 

“Bond like…married?” Dean asked wide-eyed. 

“Yep. But a little more permanent,” Gabriel told him. “Basically, Sam wouldn’t age and if he or I were ever killed, we would share his afterlife. It’s forever.”

“But…that’s…” Dean sputtered. He was finally starting to realize exactly what this little being meant to his brother and he knew that he couldn’t compete with that and would have no choice but to accept it. 

“I think your brother has a lot to process. Why don’t you show him the gardens? We can get to the rest later,” Gabriel suggested and Sam nodded and shuffled Dean out the door.


	28. Chapter 28

As they walked through the main garden towards the woodline, Dean turned to Sam. “One thing I don’t get. If he really is a good guy, why couldn’t you just talk to me about it then? I might have accepted it knowing all that.”

“I probably would have before Cold Oak happened. I was still trying to wrap my own head around it and figure out what, if anything, I wanted out of all that. If I had decided to have something with him, I might have talked to you about it, but before I could get anything figured out, you sold your soul and then I couldn’t tell you for all the reasons we said.”

“But you’re happy?” Dean asked. 

“I am, Dean. Very happy. Even more so now that you’re back,” Sam said clapping his shoulder. 

“I’m not sure how I feel about all thi…” Dean trailed off as they stepped into the clearing with the crystal garden when his jaw dropped in awe. 

Sam grinned, remembering that he’d had the same reaction the first time he came here. And a few times after that if he was honest. “The island in the center is the best place to think. The crystals are set up to help with mental clarity. Just follow the trail back to the house and if you get lost just pray to Loki,” Sam told him as his voice rang off the crystal. “Oh and the sunset is incredible out here so feel free to stick around for it if you want.”

When Dean started to walk forward to the lake, Sam smiled and turned to head back to the house. Once he got there he swept Gabriel up into a crushing hug that would have probably broken a few ribs if the archangel had been human. “Dean’s back. Everything’s gonna be okay,” he said happily. Gabriel didn’t have the heart to tell him that now the real work began, so he just let Sam enjoy his moment. They could start the tough conversations when Dean got back. For now, they could celebrate. 

When Dean came back, shortly after the most incredible sunset he’d ever seen he stopped short outside the large glass doors at the sight in the house. The little blonde god was feeding his brother strawberries, while playing with his hair with a sappy look on his face that he could only imagine was returned by Sam. When Sam pulled him in for a kiss and it looked to be getting rather heated, Dean made some noise as he walked in. There were some things he just didn’t need to see. He had seen enough to know that their happiness was no act and he had made peace with that out there in the crystal garden. “Okay, so you said something about stopping the apocalypse?” he asked as he plopped down in the armchair. 

“Well once the first seal was broken it set a few things in motion…” Gabriel started. 

“Wait…the first seal?” Dean asked suddenly getting the feeling that he was a little behind. 

“The seals are what hold Lucifer in his cage. The first seal was broken when you shed blood in hell,” Gabriel told him bluntly. 

Dean recoiled like he’d been slapped before he put his head in his hands. “I just needed to hold out a little longer,” he said brokenly. 

“No, Dean. It wouldn’t have mattered. They never would have come for you before the seal broke. It just took them a while to get to you. The seal breaking was their signal to come get you,” Sam told him reassuringly. 

Dean looked up, realizing that his brother had known all along what he would have to do. “That’s why you told me to just do what they wanted. You knew I would have to anyway and wouldn’t get out until I did.”

“Yeah,” Sam said sadly. “And no one here is going to judge you for anything.”

“I judge me,” Dean said. 

“You shouldn’t,” Gabriel chimed in. “It wouldn’t have mattered how long you held out. No one can resist forever. You held out longer that I would have guessed. We know how time works down there. Thirty years is a lot of torture for anyone to bear, especially one as young as you. And not a word. Compared to me you’re practically an infant. I’ve seen gods break under less.”

Dean had to admit he did feel much better after that. It dawned on him that they knew exactly when it broke. He had been there forty years, but Loki had said thirty. “How did you know when…”

“I could feel it. All immortals could feel it and I told Sam so he would know it was almost over,” Gabriel told him. 

Dean took a deep breath and tried to refocus. “Okay so the first seal is broken out of how many?” 

“Sixty-six have to break out of six hundred and sixty six. Most of them can be any of them. The only one we can stop now is the last. The one that Sam has to break by killing Lilith,” Gabriel told him. 

“Wait…so that’s why you said we couldn’t go after her?” Dean asked Sam. 

“I didn’t know that her death was a seal, but Loki told me that under no circumstances could we go after her,” Sam said with a shrug. He should have guessed it was something like that. 

“Damn right. Sam needs to stay as far away from Lilith as possible. In fact, everyone needs to stay as far away from Lilith as possible. Prophecy says Sam will do it, but I can’t guarantee that no one else would work. The reason Sam is supposed to be the one to do it is so that he can be poised to take in Lucifer when he gets out.”

“Take in Lucifer?” Dean asked disgustedly. 

“Lucifer is an archangel. They require vessels to interact in this plane of existence. Vessels go through bloodlines. That’s why you two are the keys. Michael and Lucifer’s vessels have to be brothers at the end. Your mother carried Lucifer’s bloodline and your father Michael’s. As the elder brother, you are Michael’s vessel and Sam as the younger is Lucifer’s, but angels, unlike demons, need permission, so even if the box does get popped, just keep saying no. Both of you.”

“But we’re gonna make sure the box doesn’t get popped,” Sam half-asked.

“Absolutely. But we have to be vigilant. They will use anyone and anything against you to force you into it,” Gabriel told them. 

“Okay…angels?” Dean asked skeptically.

“Yes, angels are real. They have been forbidden from interacting with humans which is why you’ve never seen them, though there have been enough that broke the rules for humans to learn of them,” Gabriel said tiredly. 

“Shit,” Dean said with a heavy exhale as he sat back in the chair. “So that’s how…” he trailed off getting lost in thought. 

“Yes. It was angels that rescued you from hell and its angels that are going to be watching you and manipulating you where they want you for the foreseeable future,” Gabriel told him. 

“So what do we do? Is there any way to hide from them?” Sam asked. 

“There is, but let’s save that as a last resort because that might as well throw a beacon that I’m here and helping you,” he said. “Can I talk to you alone for a second, Sam?” 

Sam followed him outside and Gabriel made sure they couldn’t be eavesdropped on. “We should tell Dean,” Gabriel said. 

“Are you sure?” Sam asked nervously. 

“He’s taking all this very well, he seems to have accepted our relationship, and at this point if we keep hiding it from him it will cause serious problems down the road when he does eventually find out.”

“Yeah. I guess you’re right. I’m just worried,” Sam said. 

“I know Sammykins. So am I. But we need to go all in if we’re going to succeed here and since he’s willing to work with me and trust me I need to do the same.”

“Yeah. Okay. We’ll tell him.” 

They headed back in and Gabriel said, “Okay so there’s one other thing you need to know about me and it’s about as secret as secret can get. Other than myself and Sam, there is not a single being in existence that knows this and it has to stay that way.” He waited until Dean nodded. “Before I was Loki, before I was a pagan god, I had another name, another species. I was…Gabriel.”

“The archangel,” Dean asked shocked. 

“The one and only,” he said with a nervous smile. 

“And no one knows…” he trailed off.

“As far as everyone else is concerned, Gabriel is dead. Has been for millennia. There is a long story, but let’s just say that heaven started looking a little too much like hell and I had to leave so I faked my death and ran. I was ‘adopted’ so to speak by a kind pagan god, Odin, took in enough pagan to fool everyone else and hide my archangel side behind and started a new life as Loki.”

“And you weren’t going to tell me,” Dean said not missing what that little conference was about outside. 

“We wanted to wait to see how you would react. Telling you if you were pissed and refused to accept all this just for you to go running back and tell someone or even leaving your mind open to be read would have had him hunted to the ends of the earth and killed. We couldn’t risk that,” Sam told him. “As long as you were reasonable and willing to listen we were going to tell you.”

Dean forced calm and realized that Sam was right. Maybe it was the lingering tranquility from the crystal garden, but he managed to actually think things through. There was no point in taking any unnecessary risks. Not when things would already be difficult enough. “Okay. So what now?” 

“Now…we play along,” Gabriel said with a smug grin.


	29. Chapter 29

“Play along how?” Dean asked. 

“Well they are going to have you jumping through hoops trying to save seals. It’s pointless in the grand scheme of things but saving seals saves lives so you might as well. Don’t let them try and guilt you into it though. Make sure you word it as you’re helping them rather than them helping you. It’ll put them on the defensive. They are counting on your guilt for breaking the first seal to have you doing anything, including allowing Michael to use you as a vessel, to fix it. They won’t play that card until they have to though,” Gabriel told them. 

“So I’m helping them stop the seals from breaking not the other way around,” Dean clarified. 

“Exactly. They know that they can’t all be stopped, but they won’t tell you that,” Gabriel told him. “Sam is going to be their first clue that something hasn’t gone according to plan, but we can’t help that. I’d die before I let him get addicted to demon blood to further their game. It will make things a little harder, but we could possibly swing it to work in our favor.”

“Demon blood?” Dean asked disgustedly. 

“Sam is supposed to be hooked on demon blood by now to help him take down Lilith and get him primed as Lucifer’s vessel,” Gabriel explained.

“How can we swing it to work in our favor?” Sam asked. 

“If it comes up, play dumb. Like you have no idea what they are talking about. That way it looks like Lilith didn’t do her part. They’ll be suspicious, but not nearly as much. The big thing will be that I won’t be able to be around. I can bring one or both of you here away from their prying eyes, but if they spot me near you, we’re all screwed.”

“Yeah. I get that,” Sam said sadly. 

“Don’t worry so much Sam-a-lam. I can bring you here every night if you want, and I’d suggest weekly meetings with all three of us to see how things are going,” he suggested. 

“Yeah I want, and the weekly meetings sounds like a good idea too,” Sam said. 

“Great. Now just one more thing. I need to put a block in your mind so their telepathy can’t get any information about me or any of this,” Gabriel told Dean. 

“What about Sam?” he asked indignantly. 

“Sam’s mind will be protected by our bond,” Gabriel told him. 

“Handy, that,” Dean grumbled, but waved his hand for Gabriel to do what he needed to do. 

As Gabriel did so he suddenly frowned and furrowed his brow. “Do you notice anything different since you woke up?” he asked suspiciously. 

“Different how?” Dean asked nervously. 

“Any new markings, maybe a handprint somewhere?” 

“I don’t know. Haven’t really checked,” Dean said with a shrug. “Why?” 

“I thought I felt something off when I touched your shoulder,” Sam piped up. “I didn’t really think anything of it at the time.”

Dean rolled up his sleeve to find a raised handprint on his shoulder and as soon as it was visible, Gabriel said, “Fuck!” and got up and started pacing. 

“Gabe? What does that mean? How bad is it?” Sam asked nervously. 

“I don’t know how bad it is yet. I need to think and consider how this factors into our plans. Apparently you aren’t the only brother with an angelic soulmate and putting his soul back together formed a partial bond,” Gabriel explained. 

Both hunter’s jaws hit the floor. “Soulmate? Who says I even want a soulmate? What does that mean?” Dean said in a voice much higher than his usual one. 

“You don’t have to act on anything you don’t want to. It just means that is the person…or being, however you want to look at it…that was made just for you as your perfect match. It also means that it’s highly unlikely your soulmate knows you’re being played which may work for or against us. I don’t know yet.”

“What…um…what are the chances my soulmate is a girl?” Dean asked curiously. 

“If you like I can try and read the grace in it and see if I recognize it,” Gabriel offered. When Dean nodded, Gabriel went over and placed his hand over the handprint and closed his eyes for a moment. “It’s Castiel. Cassie was always gender neutral. I’m not familiar enough with his bloodlines to know whether he would have a male or female vessel currently alive though.”

“Gender-neutral? That’s a thing?” Sam asked curiously. 

“Sure. Some angels consider themselves strictly male or female and tend to be very picky about vessels taking that into account. Others don’t really have a preference. We don’t technically have genders in our natural forms,” Gabriel explained. He saw the question in Sam’s face that he probably couldn’t figure out how to word so he answered it anyway. “I’ve always considered myself male as has Michael. Raphael has considered himself more female, but he’s not horribly picky about it, and Lucifer has always been gender-neutral. We usually use masculine pronouns just to make things easier though.”

Sam nodded as he tried to take in this new aspect of angels that he’d never considered before, so Dean was the one to speak, “So there’s no telling if I’m gonna be stuck with a guy or a girl?” he asked. 

“Well you won’t be ‘stuck’ with anyone. Like I mentioned, you always have a choice. If you’re against the idea of a relationship with a man, there are options. You could just be friends, or he could try to find a female vessel instead, or create a female vessel if you wouldn’t mind waiting a couple decades, or even just not have anything to do with him,” Gabriel told him. 

“Well it’s not that I’m against it, per se. I just…I don’t know,” Dean said uncomfortably. 

“Why don’t we just table this discussion until there is one to be had?” Gabriel suggested seeing how uncomfortable the idea was making the hunter. 

Dean gave him a grateful look, and asked, “So what now?” 

“Now, I’m sure you could use some more time to think, unless you’re tired in which case the guest bedroom is the first door on the left at the top of the stairs. Sammy and I are headed up to our room, and we can talk more tomorrow,” Gabriel said grabbing Sam’s hand and pulling him upstairs as the bemused hunter followed him while the one left behind just rolled his eyes, trying desperately not to think about what they would be doing up there. 

Once they were ensconced in their room, Gabriel turned to Sam, “Do you still want to bond with me?” 

“What now?” Sam asked suddenly more nervous than he had been before.

“It doesn’t have to be now, but you did say after Dean came back and we told him, which we did. It can wait though if you’d rather…”

“No,” Sam interrupted him. “Now is good,” he said quickly. Too quickly. 

“Sam…” Gabriel said firmly. “If you’re not ready…”

“No. I am. Really.

“Sam,” Gabriel said shortly to get his attention and when Sam looked at him he said, “Just sit and let me talk for a minute?” Sam did as he was asked and Gabriel took a deep breath. “I’ve had a lot of relationships over the millennia. Some of them lasting a long time. The longest was almost a thousand years with a goddess. Now you need to understand that while every being has a soulmate, the odds of meeting them are astronomical. They can be born anytime, anywhere, on any planet, in any dimension even. So few ever come to fruition. Still, when they asked me to bond, no matter how happy we were, I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to make that kind of commitment for anyone except THE one. I wasn’t going to settle for any less than my soulmate and, quite understandably, no one wanted to live with that. With being second best. With knowing that any day now I could meet my soulmate and be gone. My point is, Sam. I’ve waited forever for you and now I have you. I can wait a little longer for forever.”

“I get it Gabe and I am ready…no, it’s my turn to talk now...I AM ready. It’s just…this is big. Really big. And a little scary. Not like an I’m not ready and I’m have doubts kind of scary. Just like a this is going to change my life forever even though it’s a good change kind of scary. I want this Gabe. I want forever with you. No doubts. No second thoughts. Okay?” Sam assured him. 

Gabriel scrutinized the hunter for a moment, trying to read him. He waffled for a minute on whether or not to read the hunter’s mind but decided that this was too important not to be sure. He made sure to do so heavy handedly so that the hunter would feel it, but Sam just smiled and his mind seemed to open up more. As Gabriel saw exactly what Sam said, he couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face too. “Okay,” he said with finality. “You memorize this while I ward the room,” he said handing Sam a slip of paper. 

“Ward the room for what?” Sam asked curiously. 

“You remember that little power surge the first time we slept together?” Sam nodded. “Consider that a flare gun and this is gonna be fourth of July. If the room isn’t warded it’ll fry your brother.”

“Right,” Sam said gulping. “But I’ll be…”

“Protected by the bond,” Gabriel finished his sentence. Sam nodded and turned his attention to the paper in his hands. 

“Loki?” Sam asked looking up at him and took a quick mental note of the wards he was going to ask the archangel to teach him later. 

“We don’t want to bond you to my archangel grace. Just my pagan side. If I ever decide to be an angel again, we can do that part later, but right now, any angel in the world would be able to see an angelic bond and other than that there is literally no difference between the two,” Gabriel explained.

Sam knew that Gabriel was just as much Loki as he ever was Gabriel. Maybe even more so, which meant he didn’t feel like he was binding himself to someone else. He had been concerned that it was another instance of his soon to be bonded trying to hide from his past, but that explanation calmed that worry so he returned to memorizing the words.


	30. Chapter 30

Dean was a little tired. Apparently being pulled from hell and resurrected was exhausting, so he passed on the crystal garden and went to bed. He couldn’t help but overhear most of Sam and Gabriel’s conversation since they were in the next room and he really hoped the archangel thought to soundproof the room or something before they did anything other than talk. He wasn’t as surprised as he thought he should be that they planned to bond tonight. It had seemed like the only thing slowing them down was wanting to tell him first and now they had. He was glad to hear that Gabriel wasn’t trying to push Sam into it though. 

When Gabriel explained just how rare it was finding your soulmate, Dean wondered what the odds were that he and Sam would both find their soulmates and that they were both angels. He would ask Gabe about it tomorrow though. When he heard nothing but silence coming from next door he closed his eyes and tried to sleep. Tried being the operative word. He just had way too much running through his mind. Everything from Sam having a secret relationship with an archangel for years, to the impending apocalypse that they were to try and stop, to his own elusive soulmate and the gender questions. Even when he did get to sleep he slept fitfully, dreams haunted by visions of hell and Sam with black eyes from demon blood and Lucifer breaking out of his cage. 

 

When Gabriel was finished with the warding he asked, “Got it memorized Samshine?” Sam nodded, still more than a little nervous as Gabriel pulled him to his feet and started unbuttoning his shirt. 

Sam buried his hands in Loki’s hair and tilted the archangel’s face up to look at him. “I love you, Gabriel. More than life,” he whispered as he lowered his lips and kissed him lovingly. 

“And I love you my precious Samshine. More than all of creation,” Gabriel said back softly as the kiss ended and he was sliding the hunter’s shirt off his shoulders before he stripped off his own shirt. Neither of them knew much about what this would feel like having, obviously, never done it before, and those who had were notoriously tight-lipped about it, so they were both going into this blind. Sam knew as much as Gabriel did.

Once they were naked from the waist up, Gabriel reached forward and placed his hand over Sam’s heart and Sam did the same, resisting the urge to trail his hands over the silky skin and lean muscle beneath it. Loki spoke first, voice even and clear, even seeming to take on a new ethereal quality as he said, “I, Loki of the house of Odin, give myself to you, Sam Winchester. Body and mind. Heart and life. I am yours for as long we exist.”

Sam felt a warmth spreading through his chest, a sense of completeness, and it took him a second to speak through that. “I, Sam Winchester, give myself to you, Loki of the house of Odin. Body and mind. Heart and Soul. I am yours for as long as we exist.” His voice was just as clear as Gabriel’s though there was a bit of a tremble in it due to his nerves. 

Gabriel’s hand trailed up Sam’s chest, revealing the Norse rune it left behind, as it made its way to the back of the hunter’s neck to pull him down for a kiss and both of them whimpered at the intensity of feelings flooding through them. There were no words to describe the pure joy and love and wholeness they felt. One of the things that Gabriel missed most about heaven was this feeling, but even that was pale in comparison. Like comparing a candle to the sun and neither of them ever wanted it to end. 

They held the kiss as long as they could, until Gabriel could tell that Sam needed air and he reluctantly pulled his lips away from the hunter’s and began trailing them down his jaw and neck and collarbones as their still clothed erections slid against each other. Neither of them were in a hurry to get there though. The feeling didn’t decrease as the kiss ended. If anything, it continued to build as a bright light filled the room that neither of them noticed, too wrapped up in each other. One Sam had caught his breath, Gabriel returned to his lips. 

Sam gently rolled them over so that he was resting on top of the archangel. He knew how he wanted to do this, and Gabriel let him take control. When he needed to breathe again, it was his lips trailing Gabriel’s soft skin, hands in their wake. He lovingly caressed every inch of the glowing golden skin with his hands and lips and tongue as he made his way slowly down the archangel’s body, all traces of nervousness having fled him as soon as they kissed. 

By the time he finally reached the waistband of Gabriel’s pants, he slowly unbuttoned them and slid them down, moving his loving attention to the archangel’s hips and thighs before finally trailing a line of soft kisses up the weeping shaft and taking him in his mouth, pulling a breathless moan from the otherworldly being beneath him. He had used the ample amount of the archangel’s pre-cum to lube his fingers, neither of them wanting Gabriel to use any powers for this, and he slid one slowly inside. He alternated between sucking Gabriel and pressing wet open mouth kisses over his body and kissing the archangel deeply as he slowly and reverently worked him open. 

Once he had three fingers going comfortably inside, he nudged the archangel to flip over, which he did after a moment of hesitation. Sam knew what he was thinking but there was no way he was going to do this so impersonally. Not now of all times. And he knew better than to make Gabriel’s wings come out during a pagan bonding. He kept Gabriel leaned over until he was fully inside before he pulled him up, back against Sam’s chest as his hands began to roam over his chest and stomach and his lips caressed the archangel’s neck and shoulders. 

One of Gabriel’s hands moved down to caress Sam’s leg as the other went up to tangle in the hunter’s hair as he turned his head for a kiss. The light had visibly increased when Sam had entered the archangel, enough so that they both noticed it now and would have burned Sam’s eyes out if he hadn’t been protected by the bond. They could still see each other, such was the nature of the bond, but everything else, including the bed they were on, was just an open sea of white. When their kiss broke and Sam’s lips returned to Gabriel’s neck and shoulders, Gabriel took one of Sam’s hands and kissed it, before trailing kisses as far up his arm as he could reach. 

As much as they both wanted to drag this out forever, it had to reach an end sometime, and Gabriel could sense that Sam was starting to have trouble holding himself back so he took the hunter’s hand and moved it down and Sam took the hint and started stroking him as he increased the pace. Sam buried his face in the archangel’s neck as he came and both the feelings and the light crested, Gabriel’s head falling back against Sam’s shoulder as he joined him in his release. Sam leaned back and they stayed like that for quite a while as they rode out the high. 

The rest of the world was just starting to come back into focus when Gabriel laid them down and curled up to Sam’s side happily. “I love you, Gabe…my sweet angel,” Sam whispered, voice trembling from being so overcome with emotion. 

“And I love you, my perfect Samshine. Thank you,” Gabriel whispered back, just as overcome as a few tears leaked from his eyes. He had his soulmate. Forever. And he would fight any war, any enemy, even his own brothers, to protect this perfect human. HIS perfect human. 

They had managed to drag the bonding out for nearly two hours, so Gabriel wasn’t the least bit surprised when Sam fell asleep soon after and Gabriel didn’t move from his side all night. He didn’t think about the pending apocalypse, or any problems that could face them in the future. He just reveled in Sam’s presence and counted his blessings that he got to have this. Finally.


	31. Chapter 31

When he woke the next morning, there were still traces of the feelings that had been evoked by the bonding ceremony and Sam grinned. He was bonded. Forever with his angel. He had never been happier and he hoped this feeling would continue. He pulled his lover tightly against him as Gabriel kissed him slow and deep. “Morning Samshine,” Gabriel said happily, but couldn’t help the slight nervousness that irrationally worried that Sam would regret last night. 

Sam blew that worry out of the water though when he smiled brightly. “Good morning, my angel,” he said pulling Gabriel into another kiss. 

“Mmm. Always yours,” Gabriel murmured contentedly. 

“For as long as we exist,” Sam whispered against his lips. 

“Absolutely,” Gabriel said kissing him yet again. When it broke, Gabriel sighed. “Much as I would love to continue this all day, we do need to get up.”

“Do we have to?” Sam groaned, tightening his arms around the archangel. 

“We do have company remember?” Gabriel reminded him. 

“I know,” Sam sighed. 

“And I should take some time at the crystal garden before he wakes up and wants to use it so I can figure out how this whole him and Cassie being soulmates affects our plans,” Gabriel pointed out. 

“I know,” Sam sighed again. “Just don’t be too long?” he asked hopefully. 

“I won’t,” Gabriel said kissing Sam again and followed him downstairs so they could have breakfast together before he headed out. 

Sam was almost finished with a movie when Dean stumbled downstairs to find what was left of the breakfast spread Gabriel had put out and he grabbed a plate and plopped on the couch next to his brother. “Where’s the pixie?” he asked as he started stuffing his face. 

“In the crystal garden. Trying to figure out how your whole soulmate situation plays into our plans,” Sam told him. 

“Oh…okay,” Dean said somewhat uncomfortably. That comment brought the whole thing to mind again, and Dean couldn’t help but ask, “What was the bonding like?” When he realized what he’d said he quickly backtracked. “Not the sex stuff or anything. Just…the rest.”

Sam chuckled a bit before he said, “It was…” he trailed off for a second. “There are no words. Now I understand why no one who’d been through it would explain. It’s indescribable. The most incredible thing I’ve ever experienced,” he said wistfully. 

Dean couldn’t help but want what his brother had, especially now, but he covered that up with a, “Whatever, Samantha,” and turned back to his breakfast. Sam rolled his eyes. He knew his brother well enough to know that he’d struck a chord with him, much as he tried to cover it up. As he ate and pretended to watch the movie his mind couldn’t get off of his mystery soulmate. He had pretty much come to the conclusion that he didn’t really care if Cas, he refused to call him or her Cassie because of his ex-girlfriend, was in a male or female vessel. He was still pretty scared of the whole sex with a guy thing, having never done anything like that before and no really knowing what he was doing. He refused to ask his brother for advice on that though. He was resigned to giving it a shot once he actually met Cas. Hearing how rare it was to meet the one being made just for you was enough to get him over any reluctance on that matter. He almost felt like he was given a gift and he wasn’t going to just throw it away without any consideration. 

Dean had just finished eating when Gabriel waltzed back in and plopped himself in Sam’s lap, pressing a chaste kiss to his bonded’s lips, mindful of their audience. “So what’s the verdict? How screwed are we?” Sam asked. 

“Maybe not at all. It’s possible we could work this in our favor. We’ll have to be careful, but we should be able to get him on our side if we’re subtle about it. Undo some of that brainwashing he’s been through. A soulmate can be a strong influence,” Gabriel said looking at Dean. 

“I don’t know how I feel about influencing someone like that,” Dean said uncomfortably. 

“Oh, unclench Deano. I’m not asking you to seduce him and use it against him. Just be yourself. Question everything. Make him think, really think, about what he’s doing and why. That’s all. I would suggest not getting in too deep until he’s firmly on our side, but that’s up to you. You just have to be sure not to let on how much you know or what we’re doing.” 

“I…can do that,” Dean said thoughtfully. “I should probably…” he trailed off motioning to the door. 

“Make sure you’re considering what you’re going to do and how you’re going to act when you go back too,” Gabriel told him. 

“Am I going back today?” Dean asked curiously. 

“That’s up to you. You can stay as long as you want,” Gabriel shrugged. “I just want to make sure you’re prepared is all.”

“Right. Okay. You’re not gonna…um…put me back in that box are you?” he asked nervously. He would never admit that he might have a slight claustrophobia issue. 

“Oh please. I would never make a man dig his way out of his own grave. Especially not my own brother in law. There will be an illusion of you climbing out for the benefit of those watching and you’ll take the illusions place standing next to it,” Gabriel said dismissively. 

Dean couldn’t help but smile at the thought that Gabriel…an archangel…thought of him as a brother…well, brother in law, but Dean could read between the lines as well as any hunter. “Thanks, Gabe,” he said as he headed out the door, missing the smile on the archangel’s face at the easy acceptance and the nickname. 

Once Dean was firmly ensconced in the crystal garden, Gabriel decided to take his bonded on a honeymoon. They left Dean a note and Gabriel whisked Sam away to renaissance Paris, the archangel saying that it was the most romantic time and place in all of history and they spent three weeks there before they returned that afternoon to find Dean sitting on the couch eating a sandwich. “Where’d you go?” he asked curiously. 

“We just had a three-week honeymoon in Paris during the renaissance,” Sam said happily. 

Dean blinked at him for a moment, both for the gratuitous time travel and the fact that they had spent three weeks in a morning. They had mentioned spending time outside of time and in the past and all, but he hadn’t actually been there for it so it was easier to put out of his mind. After a moment though he just shrugged and said, “Cool.” After a moment he said, “So I was thinking…it would probably be better for me to go back sooner rather than later. The longer I have to get comfortable and put hell behind me the better the chance that I will slip up somewhere. Sammy here wasn’t exactly subtle when he would suddenly be relaxed and refreshed overnight.”

Sam chuckled as Gabriel said, “Okay. That’s understandable. But once all this is over, you’re due a nice long vacation. How’s that?” 

“Sounds perfect,” Dean said gratefully. 

“It can wait a few hours at least though,” Gabriel said plopping down on the couch and pulling Sam with him. 

About an hour later something struck Dean. “Can we tell Bobby about all of this?”

Sam’s eyes widened. He hadn’t even considered that. Keeping something like this from him wouldn’t be fair at all and he looked to Gabriel waiting for his answer as well. Gabriel sighed knowing there was only one right answer here. “You have to be careful. Put this sigil up somewhere in blood and then take it down when you’re done,” he said handing them a piece of paper with a sigil drawn on it. “It will keep anything from eavesdropping without drawing too much suspicion. Don’t tell him who or what I really am though. As far as he’s concerned, I’m Loki. At least for now. When all this is over we can revisit that idea.”

“Fair enough,” Dean said as Sam took the paper and put it in his pocket. They couldn’t risk it being found on Dean. 

After the movie was over, Gabriel turned to Dean and said, “You ready?”

Dean nodded rigidly. It was time to get his head in the game. Gabriel snapped his fingers and Dean disappeared. Sam pulled his phone out knowing that he would be getting a call soon and ready to play his part. They had decided that Sam would be an hour away. Close enough to get to him relatively quickly, but far enough not to be suspicious, then they would head to Bobby’s. 

When Sam’s phone rang ten minutes later, he heard a broken, “Sammy?” on the other end and he secretly marveled at his brother’s acting skills. 

“Dean? What? How? Where are you?” he asked pretending to be confused. 

“I’m back, Sammy. I don’t know how. I’m at a gas station near where I’m guessing I was buried,” Dean said. 

“I’m about an hour away. I’m coming to get you,” Sam said quickly and hung up. Gabriel pulled him into a kiss before snapping his fingers and the hunter appeared in the Impala an hour away from Dean and he started driving.


	32. Chapter 32

Dean had remembered how hungry and thirsty he’d been when he’d showed up at Gabe’s so he played that up and by the time Sam pulled up he had an armful of water and energy bars. The shattered glass and bleeding ears hadn’t been part of the plan though and he planned to take it out of someone’s hide as soon as he found out who was behind it. Sam jumped out of the car and grabbed him in a tight hug which Dean returned gratefully. It was annoying playing a role for invisible surveillance, but they would do what needed to be done. 

They mostly made small talk on the way to Bobby’s where, after the old hunter had done every test imaginable on both of them, they wasted no time putting up the sigil and sitting down to business. Bobby’s only response was, “Balls. Can’t you idgits ever go anywhere without life-changing events following you around?” Not much was said about Sam’s relationship after he assured Bobby that Loki was actually a good guy and not a killer. That was good enough for Bobby. No one mentioned Dean’s link to the angel that rescued him. No point stirring that pot until there was something there to tell. Once everything was asked and answered, Dean removed the sigil and they all headed up to bed. It was pretty late by that point. 

True to his word, Gabriel pulled Sam home and they spent the night and the next day together before he sent him back to the same moment he left and he spent a night and day with his brother and they continued like that for a few days, but nothing was happening on the angel front and Dean was getting frustrated and impatient. When he went to Gabriel that night Sam told him the problem. “Well there is a way to summon him without it looking like he knows what he’s summoning. It won’t yank him there like a true summoning would but it would be difficult to resist,” Gabriel told him and then taught him the spell to use. “Make sure your brother knows not to be reckless and put any wards up that he normally would when summoning something unknown.”

“Got it,” Sam said rolling his eyes. He knew that it needed to be said, but sometimes it was almost annoying how Gabriel kept reminding them to play their parts. This wasn’t their first time deceiving people. He reminded himself though that it was their first time playing such a constant level of deceit and Gabriel was the master with millions of years of experience. It was only natural for him to play it safe. Especially when there was so much at stake. It couldn’t be easy for Gabriel to trust other people with such an important game after all. That settled, Sam and Gabriel just enjoyed the rest of their night and day together. 

Sam was starting to get whiplash spending a day in each life, but he wouldn’t give up this time with his bonded for anything and he had to be in the real world. He wanted to ask Gabriel to keep him here longer for a few weeks or even a few months, but he didn’t want to do that too often and risk losing touch with the real world. When all this was over there would be no more reason to hide and Sam couldn’t wait for that day. 

When he went back to the same time he left, he suddenly sat up in bed and said, “I have an idea.” When Dean looked over at him curiously, he said, “I remember reading about this summoning spell that could summon anything. All we need is a name. I’m sure Bobby knows a psychic or something that can at least get a name and then we can summon it.”

Dean didn’t need to ask where the sudden burst of inspiration came from. He figured that his brother must have just come back from seeing Gabriel. “Yeah. That sounds good. We’ll get on that in the morning. It would require a little more work pretending that they didn’t know Castiel’s name but they could manage. 

The next morning, they were heading towards a psychic named Pamela who happily agreed to find out what she could. She got the name pretty quickly, but when she tried to go further and get a look at him, she was apparently warned off. She tried to keep going but Sam told her to stop. He didn’t want anything to happen to her. She still didn’t want to stop, but then Sam broke the circle and the connection. She glared at him but Sam just said, “All we needed was the name. There’s no need to put yourself at risk for more.”

She just shrugged at that and gave them no further trouble. They headed back to Bobby’s which wasn’t far away and started painting warding sigils all over the barn. He made sure not to use any of the Enochian that Gabriel had taught him or anything else they didn’t already know before Gabriel came into their lives just to be safe, but the barn was still covered. Sam and Bobby stood there nervously as Dean did the summoning, knowing it would carry a bit more punch coming from him. 

The barn started shaking and then the lights started flashing and popping as a man in a business suit and a trenchcoat with a bad case of bedhead strolled in like he was ready for battle, but the three hunters just watched him nervously. Well Dean with a bit more than nerves and Sam struggled to keep his amusement from showing as he wondered if he’d had the same look in his eye when he met Gabe the first time. 

Dean tracked the entrance of Castiel, and he felt his heart rate speed up for a reason that had nothing to do with fear. He was just transfixed. He remembered the game they were playing at the last minute, and said, “W-who are you?” He couldn’t stop his eyes from trailing over the angel’s body though and flickering back to his lips as he answered. 

“I’m the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition,” the angel said seriously. 

Dean had to fight not to laugh or show any sign of being about to laugh. Who the hell talked like that? “Yeah, thanks for that,” he said sarcastically. 

Castiel took that opportunity to spin and press two fingers to both Sam’s and Bobby’s heads as they crumpled to the floor. Dean rushed over to them to check their pulses. He was sure they were okay or there would be some furious archangel smiting going on right about now, but he needed to check. Beyond that, he would have been expected to check. “We need to talk, Dean. Alone. They are alive.”

“Who are you?” Dean asked again. He wanted to get these questions out of the way before he inadvertently let something slip that he shouldn’t have known. 

“Castiel.”

“Yeah I figured that much. I mean WHAT are you?” 

“I’m an angel of the lord,” Castiel said stoically. 

“Get the hell out of here. There’s no such thing,” Dean said just as he would have before he met Gabe. 

“This is your problem Dean. You have no faith,” Castiel said and suddenly lightning flashed and there were shadows of large wings along the back wall of the barn and Dean gulped as he tried to hide his bodies reaction. 

“So I’m guessing all the ear bleeding was you then?” he asked. 

“My real voice can be…overwhelming…to humans,” he said almost apologetically. 

“That was you talking? Buddy, next time lower the volume,” Dean said as a tense joke. He was finding it far too easy to relax around Cas. 

“That was my mistake. Certain people…special people…can perceive my true visage. I thought you would be one of them. I was wrong,” Castiel said sadly. 

Dean knew what he wasn’t saying. Special people like soulmates. He ignored the voice in his head as he said, “And what visage are you in now? Holy tax accountant?” 

“This? This is a vessel,” Castiel explained. 

“You’re possessing some poor bastard?” Dean pretended to be indignant. 

“He’s a devout man. He actually prayed for this,” Castiel explained. 

Dean actually believed him, knowing from Gabe that angels had to have permission, and saw no point in arguing further so he moved on. “So why would an angel rescue me from hell?” He wanted to see just how much, if anything his supposed soulmate would tell him. 

“Good things do happen, Dean,” Castiel told him seemingly losing his battle with stoicism as he was now staring just as openly at Dean as the hunter was him. 

“Not in my experience,” Dean struggled to keep his voice even at the change in dynamic. 

“What’s the matter? You don’t think you deserved to be saved?” Castiel asked tilting his head to the side curiously. 

Dean had no qualms about answering this one honestly. “Hell no, I didn’t. I can count on one hand the number of people on this planet that actually deserve that. So why’d you do it?” 

“Because God commanded it. Because we have work for you.”

“Of course you do,” Dean scoffed. “The question is, why should I help you?” 

“You will,” was all Cas said as he disappeared and Dean huffed as the other two woke up. 

Sam got up and looked at the thoroughly dissatisfied look on his brothers face and couldn’t help but chuckle. “So did you kiss him?” he teased. 

“What?! Of course not!” Dean said indignantly. 

“You looked like you were about to when he knocked us out. Figured he just wanted some privacy,” Sam kept needling. 

“No he didn’t. He just kept dancing around my questions and then left when I apparently asked one too many,” Dean said annoyed.


	33. Chapter 33

Castiel left Dean and appeared back in his favorite heaven on that peaceful Tuesday afternoon as the thoughts and feeling whirled through his head. He had felt that the elder Winchester was his soulmate as soon as he touched his soul in hell, but seeing him like this, whole and in person…it was harder than he had anticipated. He was no fool. He knew what Dean Winchester’s destiny was. They were trying to stop the seals from breaking, but if they failed…if Lucifer walked the earth…Dean was Michael’s vessel. He was off limits. But maybe…maybe if he did a good job…maybe Michael would give Dean to him when he was finished with him. It was a hope. A slim one, but a hope all the same. In the meantime, he would keep his distance unless it was relevant to their mission.

When he heard about the rising of the witnesses, his vow was pushed to the back of his mind. He needed to see that Dean was safe with his own eyes. He couldn’t help going to him. “Excellent job with the witnesses,” he said relieved that the hunter was still in one piece. 

“You were hip to all this?” Dean asked, clearly annoyed. 

“I was…uh…made aware,” he stumbled over his words. 

“Well thanks a lot for the angelic assistance. You know, I almost got my heart ripped out of my chest,” Dean snapped. 

“But you didn’t,” he said relieved. 

“I thought angels were supposed to be guardians. Fluffy wings, halos…you know, Michael Landon. Not dicks,” Dean said harshly trying to snap him out of his idiocy. 

“Read the bible. Angels are warriors of god. I’m a soldier,” he said defensively. 

“Yeah? Then why didn’t you fight?” Dean pushed. 

“I’m not here to perch on your shoulder. We had larger concerns…” Castiel started to get annoyed at the implications. 

“Concerns? There were people getting torn to shreds down here!” Dean realized that this conversation was deteriorating fast and he needed to get something back on track so he added, “And, by the way, while all this is going on, where the hell is your boss, huh? If there is a god.”

“There's a God,” Castiel snapped. 

“I'm not convinced. 'Cause if there's a God, what the hell is he waiting for, huh? Genocide? Monsters roaming the earth? The freaking apocalypse? At what point does he lift a damn finger and help the poor bastards that are stuck down here?” He needed the angel to understand. To at least start to think. To plant some sort of doubt in his mind. 

“The Lord works...”

“If you say "mysterious ways," so help me, I will kick your ass,” Dean said heatedly. He didn’t need to hear the party line. He didn’t want to hear the brainwashing. He wanted to know what Cas thought. He knew he wasn’t going to get there tonight though, so he set to clearing a few other things up that he wasn’t supposed to know before but were okay now. “So, Bobby was right... about the witnesses. This is some kind of a... sign of the apocalypse.”

“That's why we're here. Big things afoot,” Castiel said relieved that they were back on some sort of even footing. That he was being asked instead of challenged. 

“Do I want to know what kind of things?”

“I sincerely doubt it, but you need to know. The rising of the witnesses is one of the 66 seals.”

“Okay. I'm guessing that's not a show at Seaworld,” Dean said wearily. He’d been dying to make that joke since the subject first came up, but now that he could it didn’t seem as funny as he’d thought it would be.

“Those seals are being broken by Lilith,” Castiel ignored the joke and barreled on. 

“She did the spell. She rose the witnesses,” Dean half-asked for confirmation.

“Mm-hmm. And not just here. 20 other hunters are dead.”

Dean hung his head. He should have known. They wouldn’t have gotten off easy. “Of course. She picked victims that the hunters couldn't save so that they would barrel right after us.”

“Lilith has a certain sense of humor.”

Dean didn’t know on what planet that could possibly be considered humor, but he ignored it. “Well, we put those spirits back to rest,” he said triumphantly. It was a small consolation, but at least they had gotten vengeance for the hunters that lost their lives and got the innocent souls who were forced to do it back to rest.

“It doesn't matter. The seal was broken.”

“Why break the seal anyway?” Dean wanted this out in the open so they could talk about it freely.

“You think of the seals as locks on a door.”

“Okay. Last one opens and...”

“Lucifer walks free,” Castiel told him seriously.

“Lucifer? But I thought Lucifer was just a story they told at demon Sunday school. There's no such thing.” It would have looked suspicious if he didn’t fight the idea. 

“Three days ago, you thought there was no such thing as me. Why do you think we're here walking among you now for the first time in 2,000 years?” 

Not quite the first time, Dean resisted the urge to say. “To stop Lucifer,” he said pointedly. He had to know if Cas was part of the plot to open the cage. He had to be sure he was innocent in all this and he was positive he would be able to tell if the angel lied to him. 

“That's why we've arrived,” Castiel said evenly. 

Dean breathed an internal sigh of relief. He really believed that. It made things easier. “Well... bang-up job so far. Stellar work with the witnesses. That's nice.” Now to try and make him see that not everyone had the same goals.

“We tried. And there are other battles, other seals. Some we'll win, some we'll lose. This one we lost. Our numbers are not unlimited. Six of my brothers died in the field this week. You think the armies of Heaven should just follow you around? There's a bigger picture here. You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in,” Castiel came very near to losing his temper at that. He could take a lot of things, but not the implication that he wasn’t good at his job. That he was a failure. 

“Answer me one thing,” Dean said, seeing that the angel was shifting his shoulders like he was about to leave. “Just how many seals are there? And how many does she have to break?” he asked pointedly. Castiel disappeared without an answer though. Dean just hoped that last question had gotten him thinking. 

The next morning, he woke in the guest bedroom at Gabriel’s place. He supposed it was time for their weekly meeting. He went downstairs to find that he apparently hadn’t been there for long as the archangel was still fussing over Sam, making sure he was okay after the bout with the witnesses. Sam grabbed Gabriel’s arms and leaned over to kiss him. “I’m okay, Gabe. Really.”

“I hate not being able to go to you when you need help,” the archangel grumbled. 

“I know, but you and I both know that if the situation were dire enough, you would be there, damn the consequences, and it’s my job to make sure it doesn’t get there so that you stay out of the line of fire,” Sam said firmly. 

Dean took that opportunity to clear his throat before an argument could start and they both swung to look at him. Gabriel wiped all trace of worry from his face as he snapped his fingers and a breakfast buffet appeared on the counter. Gabriel waited until they were all sitting down eating before he turned to Dean. “So I understand you met Cassie.”

“Yeah. Twice, actually,” Dean said.

“Twice?” Sam asked. “When was the second time?”

“Last night. He came by after you passed out to congratulate me on dealing with the witnesses,” Dean explained. 

“More like to see for himself that you were okay,” Gabriel said with a roll of his eyes. 

“Yeah right,” Dean scoffed. 

“It’s far more believable than him just dropping all his duties to drop by and say, good job,” Gabriel said pointedly.

Dean couldn’t actually dispute that, so decided to change the subject. He could think about that later when he didn’t have an audience. “Yeah, well, I tried to get him thinking. Challenged his views as much as I could in the short conversation. It didn’t go so well.”

Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “Which views did you challenge?” 

“The existence of god and whether or not the angels were really trying to STOP the apocalypse,” Dean told him. 

Sam nearly choked on his breakfast, while Gabriel just shook his head while he clapped Sam on the back to dislodge the food in his throat. “You didn’t think that maybe you should start smaller rather than throwing the two biggest fundamentals of his life into question?” Sam asked incredulously. 

“What happened to subtlety?” Gabriel asked more amused than anything. 

“You do realize who you’re asking to be subtle right?” Sam asked joining in the amusement. 

“Hey! I can do subtle!” Dean protested. 

“Obviously not,” Sam said with a chuckle. 

After breakfast, Gabriel told them a little more about the seals and the fact that he was working from the shadows to prevent as many as he could without drawing attention to himself. He admitted that he knew it was a lost cause, but at least he felt like he was doing something. Something to help Sam. He hated having to feel like he was hiding, despite the fact that was what he was doing. Maybe it was more the fact that he was sending his bonded into danger while hiding that bothered him so much. Either way, he needed to be doing something, so he did.


	34. Chapter 34

The next time Dean saw Cas was almost a week later, he woke to find the angel leaning over his bed. “Hello, Dean. What were you dreaming about?”

“What, do you get your freak on by watching other people sleep? What do you want?” Dean didn’t even have to pretend to be annoyed. If they were together, it wouldn’t have been so bad, but knowing that Cas knew they were soulmates and even had a partial bond just made it creepy. 

“Listen to me. You have to stop it,” Castiel said cryptically. 

“Stop what?” Dean asked confused. The next thing he knew he was waking up on a park bench and walking into a diner to find his father sitting there. This was just surreal. He knew that Sam had hopped back and forth in time so many times he was practically and expert, but this was his first time, and as far as he knew, Sam had never met anyone they knew. He knew who was behind this. The question was why. 

 

Castiel watched as Dean stumbled through trying to figure out what was going on and he sighed. This was a last ditch effort for him. If he could stop everything before it started, then maybe…just maybe…he could go back to his time and he and Dean could have something. He had been thinking about what Dean had said and realized that it really was hopeless to stop it where they were in the future. When the hunter just didn’t seem to be getting it, he decided to appear to him again. As soon as he did, he could tell that Dean was beyond annoyed. “What is this?”

“What does it look like?” he asked trying to get the hunter to use his head. 

“Is it real?” Dean asked suspiciously. 

“Very.”

Dean remembered then that he wasn’t supposed to know that angels could time travel and feigned ignorance. “Okay, so what? Angels got their hands on some Deloreans? How did I get here?”

“Time is fluid, Dean. It's not easy, but we can bend it on occasion.”

Maybe not easy for you, but Gabriel seems to do it effortlessly, Dean didn’t say. “Well bend it back or tell me what the hell I'm doing here!”

“I told you, you have to stop it,” he said desperately. He couldn’t interfere too much. Not if he wanted to make it out of this in once piece. He would give the hunter his chance. 

“Stop what? Huh? What, is there something nasty after my Dad?” Dean was distracted by a car and by the time he turned back, Cas was gone. “Oh, come on! What, are you allergic to straight answers, you son of a bitch?!” he yelled at nothing. 

It didn’t take Dean long to realize that there was a lot he didn’t know about his parents. Starting with the fact that his mother was a hunter…from a long line of hunters apparently. He thought he’d figured out what he had to stop when he found out old yellow-eyes was sniffing around. He was supposed to kill the demon here before it got her later. It wasn’t until the very end…until he saw his mother make the deal that cursed Sam…that he realized what he had really been meant to stop. Needless to say, when he found himself back in his own time his emotions were more than a little raw. “I couldn't stop any of it. She still made the deal. She still died in the nursery, didn't she?” he asked sadly. 

“Don't be too hard on yourself. You couldn't have stopped it,” Castiel said just as sadly. He had hoped, but he’d known it was a long shot. 

“What?”

“Destiny can't be changed, Dean. All roads lead to the same destination,” Castiel told him now that it had been proven to him once more. He couldn’t let the hunter and this bond between them deter him again. 

“Then why'd you send me back?” Dean asked not even knowing what he was feeling at the moment. At the idea that Cas would put him through that for nothing. 

“For the truth. Now you know everything we do,” Castiel said almost apologetically. 

“The truth? You really think that was the best way for me to find out that my entire life was a lie? That my peaceful perfect mother was just another hunter? That she sold access to her own children to a damn demon?!”

Sam woke up halfway through that rant and his eyes widened. “Dean!” he snapped before his brother said too much like he tended to do when he got worked up. When Dean turned to look at him Cas took the opportunity to disappear. “What the hell was that about mom?” Sam asked now that they were alone. 

Dean filled him in on everything he’d learned and seen while in the past and, like him, Sam looked a little sick at the idea. Logically they both knew that she couldn’t have known what she was agreeing to, and she was desperate and it probably seemed like a great deal at the time, but knowing what came of it…neither of them would ever be able to see her the same way again.

The next night, when he saw Gabriel he wasted no time in asking if he’d known. When Sam got angry and demanded to know why he hadn’t told him, the archangel’s response was, “It didn’t matter. It wouldn’t change anything other than take away the one good and pure thing you could hold onto. I didn’t want to destroy your image of your mother.” Sam had deflated at that, but that didn’t stop him from taking the archangel to bed and punishing him in their favorite way. 

The next day, while Dean was out getting breakfast, Cas appeared to Sam who just looked at him confused. “Dean isn’t here,” he said unnecessarily. 

“I am here to speak with you,” Castiel told him looking at him scrutinizingly. 

“How did you get off the demon blood?” he asked. 

“What are you talking about?” Sam played dumb.

“I was under the impression that you were drinking demon blood, but I can see no trace in you now.”

“Drinking demon blood? That’s disgusting. What, do you think I’m some kind of sick vampire? I know some wack-job demon forced some down my throat when I was a baby, but why the hell would I ever drink the stuff?” Sam didn’t even have to feign his disgust.

Castiel just narrowed his eyes at the hunter. He could see that he was telling the truth. That he had never drank demon blood willingly and that just confused him more. He had told Dean that destiny couldn’t be changed, but it seemed that it had been…somehow. “It would give you the power to get vengeance on Lilith,” he pointed out trying to make some sense of things. 

“Why would I want to do that? I mean, yeah, she held Dean’s contract, but he was the one who made the deal, and another demon was the one that took it, and yeah…she died by my hand, but Lilith? All she did was hold onto it and I’m not dumb enough to take on the most powerful demon in hell for that.”

“I…see…” Castiel said, despite the fact that he didn’t see at all. He didn’t know what had happened to knock destiny off its course, and he hoped, given this new information, that they would succeed in keeping the cage closed. 

It was a long time before they saw Cas again. They had been through rugaroos and shape-shifters with a monster movie fetish, and scared ghosts, before they ran across him again on a witch hunt of all things. And this time he had another angel in tow. A specialist, he called him. Apparently they had run across another seal. When Cas tried to get them to leave, Dean pressed for a reason and when he found out they were about to destroy the town, he flat out refused to leave. He hoped that some measure of Cas’ affection for him would keep him from destroying the town with Dean in it, but if it came to it, he would gladly die in an effort to save all these innocent people. 

They hadn’t been able to stop the seal from breaking, but they had managed to clean up the mess, and they learned that the demon killing knives even worked on Samhain. When Dean found out that the whole thing had been a test for him he wasn’t exactly happy. “So I, uh, failed your test, huh? I get it. But you know what? If you would have waved that magic time-traveling wand of yours and we had to do it all over again, I’d make the same call. 'Cause see, I don’t know what’s gonna happen when these seals are broken, hell I don’t even know what’s gonna happen tomorrow. But what I do know is, that this, here? These kids, the swings, the trees, all of it is still here because of my brother and me.”

Castiel supposed that he couldn’t blame Dean for thinking that way. He had been rather heavy handed in his effort to see how the hunter would react. He couldn’t stand for his soulmate to think so poorly of him though. “You misunderstand me, Dean, I’m not like you think. I was praying that you would choose to save the town.”

“You were?” Dean asked with new hope. He had pretty much resigned himself to never being happy. He could never be with someone who would think so carelessly of so many lives. 

“These people, they’re all my father’s creations. They’re works of art, and yet, even though you stopped Samhain, the seal was broken and we are one step closer to hell on earth, for all creation. Now that’s not an expression, Dean, it's literal. You of all people should appreciate what that means,” he said bluntly before he sighed. “Can I tell you something if you promise not to tell another soul?”

“Okay,” he said tentatively. Was he actually getting a measure of trust from the angel?

“I’m not a… hammer as you say. I have questions, I have doubts. I don’t know what is right and what is wrong anymore, whether you passed or failed here. But in the coming months you will have more decisions to make. I don’t envy the weight that’s on your shoulders, Dean. I truly don’t.”

That was the best news Dean had heard all day. Cas had doubts. Now he just had to grow those doubts into something they could work with. He had taken Sam and Gabriel’s gentle admonishment about subtlety to heart though and he knew that now wasn’t the time to push the matter. He wasn’t sure if he could have when he looked into the angel’s eyes and got lost in them anyway. He could see the turmoil and uncertainty swirling in the cerulean gaze and just reached out a hand to put on Cas’ shoulder. The first real contact between them, and he wasn’t at all surprised when the angel promptly disappeared.


	35. Chapter 35

After a disastrous encounter with a wishing well, they encountered Cas again just to have him demand that they hand over a young woman for execution no questions asked. When they found out that she could hear angel radio, they thought they had the reason, but then it turned out she was an angel too. She had left for the same reason that Gabriel had, but without his resources and ingenuity, she’d had to rip out her grace and fall to do it. As soon as they had the story, Sam prayed to Gabriel and asked to talk to him, now. “So it turns out you’re not the only angel that didn’t particularly like the new order,” Sam told him. 

“What do you mean?” Gabriel asked dangerously. 

“Anna…that’s what we know her as. I don’t know her angelic name. She was an angel and she hated how cold and unfeeling they were and she ripped out her grace and fell, but now, somehow, she is hearing the angels again and they are hunting her.”

Gabriel closed his eyes against the pain threatening to drown him. He didn’t want to get involved in the politics. He didn’t want to think about all those he’d left behind. He knew he couldn’t turn his back on her though. “Ask her what she wants. I can hide her, completely, as a human. Or she can get her grace back and I can teach her to avoid heaven. You can’t tell her about me though. She has to make the decision blind. Once she’d decided and everything is settled, I’ll make it happen.” 

“Gabe?” Sam asked concerned. He knew this was hard for Gabriel to think about, and he hated having to ask, but what else could he do. “Are you okay?” 

“I will be, Samshine,” he said in an attempt at a cheerful voice. The pain in his eyes spoke a different story though. Sam wasn’t going to leave him like this. 

“Let me stay a few days?” he asked hopefully.

“You have to ask?” Gabriel said burrowing his way to his hunter’s side. 

“You’re doing the right thing, angel,” Sam whispered. He was sure that Gabriel knew that, but hearing it couldn’t hurt. 

“Doesn’t mean it’s easy,” Gabriel murmured softly. 

“I know. But that’s what makes it mean so much,” Sam told him pressing a kiss to the top of his head and holding him tighter. 

When Sam got back, a week later for him and the exact same moment for Dean and Anna, he offered her the choice. He wouldn’t say how, but he assured her that he had a reliable way for her to hide whatever she chose. She decided if she was going to hide, she wanted to do so with as much of a leg up as she could get, which meant getting her grace back and Dean was the one to come up with the plan. At least now they had an excuse to know Enochian warding and they quickly put up the anti-eavesdropping ward. When Anna asked how they learned it they replied that they learned it from her. She got the hint and nodded. 

Dean knew he shouldn’t have slept with her, but he couldn’t deny the fact that their plan was risky to say the least and she wanted one last roll in the hay before she died. It meant nothing for either of them and it wasn’t like he was spoken for really. The guilt wouldn’t leave him though, but he just pushed it aside. He could deal with it another day. He had a ruse to pull off. He lured the demons and the angels together, got Anna her grace in the melee and Gabriel pulled her off to his paradise.

“Anael,” Gabriel said sadly as he saw her, grace shining brightly. He had suspected when Sam said Anna, but now he was sure. She had always been so bright and full of love and joy and life. 

“G-Gabriel,” she gasped and fell to a knee, head bowed before him.

Gabriel, despite the sadness permeating him, couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he reached down and grabbed her arms, pulling her to her feet. “Don’t do that. I’m not your boss or your commander or your king or whatever other bull Michael has been feeding you younglings. I’m your brother.”

“But…I don’t understand. We…we thought you were dead,” she said in awe. 

“I meant for everyone to think I was dead.” He knew that he couldn’t just leave it at that though. She deserved and explanation so he gave her one. “Heaven used to be a very different place than you know. It was filled with laughter and love and family. Then Father left and Michael went all gung-ho about the end of days, Raphael gladly following him. He had visions of the angels as a vast army and started brainwashing all of you to believe it. I couldn’t fight him, but they couldn’t brainwash me, so they tried to find other ways to break me. I faked my death and ran.”

“And now you’re working against them?” she asked confusedly. 

“Not so much against them as for my bonded soulmate,” Gabriel told her. 

“Sam Winchester,” she guessed. It could only be one of the Winchesters and given that she had just slept with Dean last night she really hoped it wasn’t him or she might not survive this new life after all. 

“Bingo,” he said with a smile. 

“But no one knows,” she guessed again. 

“Nope. I’m the secret weapon. You are now one of four beings that know I’m alive,” he told her pointedly, attempting to impress on her the seriousness of the situation. 

“Dean knows too?” she asked. 

“Yep. He is my brother in law after all. Likely to be twice over eventually,” Gabriel told her. 

“What do you mean?” she asked with a sinking feeling. 

“Castiel is his soulmate. Once he pulls his head from Michael’s ass they are sure to be together. I know Dean’s on board with the idea at least.” He saw the color drain from her face and he had a bad feeling but he had to ask. “What is it?”

“I slept with Dean,” she said guiltily. “I didn’t know and I thought I was going to die and I wanted…”

Gabriel closed his eyes and prayed for patience with stupid hunters before he opened them again. “It wasn’t your fault, Anael. I can’t even say he should have told you because letting on that he knows would raise too many questions. He shouldn’t have let it happen and believe me he will get an earful from me, but you did nothing wrong.”

“Where are we?” she asked, looking around curiously, wanting desperately to change the subject. 

Gabriel opened his mouth to speak, and then stopped and said, “Hold that thought,” and then the two hunters appeared in the room. 

Dean grabbed Anna in a hug. “I’m glad you’re okay. You disappeared and we were worried. I mean, I knew Gabe wouldn’t let us down, but still.” He was so glad to see her well that he didn’t even notice the way she stiffened in his arms. 

Sam saw Gabriel working up a head of steam at the greeting and he could well guess what he was pissed about so he slipped behind the archangel and wrapped his arms around him, leaning down to whisper, “Not now, Gabe,” before he said loud enough for Dean to hear, seeing Anna’s discomfort, “Let the girl breathe, Dean, geez.”

Gabriel tersely accepted the elder hunter’s thanks before he said, “Let’s take a walk, Dean.” He understood Sam not wanting him to make a scene there in front of Anael and he didn’t want to hurt her any more than she already was either. Dean’s eyes widened as he realized that he had just slept with the archangel’s little sister, and it seemed Gabriel knew it too. He, at least, was sure that he would survive. Gabriel would never hurt Sam like that. He wasn’t sure that he didn’t have some other creative punishment coming though. He just hoped he wouldn’t end up spending time with monks. 

As soon as they were out of earshot of the house, Gabriel rounded on him. “What the hell did you think you were doing?”

“We’re both consenting adults,” Dean defended himself. 

“Yeah and you have a soulmate in your life,” Gabriel shot back. 

“Hey, Cas has no claim on me. He’s still working against us if you remember. I’m making progress, but I’m still a free man until he gets his head on straight.”

“You think I’m worried about you and Cassie? No. What you have, if anything, between you is your business, but you pulled Anael, who was obviously already vulnerable, into this shitfest, without her even knowing what she was walking into,” Gabriel yelled. 

“What do you mean?” Dean asked getting the idea that there was more to this than he understood. 

“Think about how you would feel if you slept with me, not knowing that Sam and I were together. How you would feel about yourself and what you would think of me.” 

“But we’re not together,” Dean protested. 

“It doesn’t matter. For an angel, and any being that has the slightest clue what soulmates really means, it’s no different. Damn it Dean. You don’t even realize what a gift you’ve been given here and you just so blindly flaunt it. Soulmates are sacred, you idiot. I thought I had made that clear. To interfere with two soulmates once they’ve found each other is just…unheard of…and now you’ve put her in that position.”


	36. Chapter 36

“I…I’m sorry Gabe. I…I didn’t think it would matter,” Dean said haltingly. He never meant to hurt anyone. Especially Anna. 

“You didn’t think, period,” Gabriel snapped. “Even if that part didn’t matter, did you even consider the fact that you were sleeping with Cassie’s sister and how that would affect everyone down the road?” Dean shook his head apologetically. “You wanna get your rocks off, be my guest, but leave the rest of the family out of it.”

“Yeah. Okay. I get it. I screwed up. I’m sorry,” Dean said genuinely remorseful. 

Gabriel sighed and put a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Okay. Just…try and fix things with her? Please? I really think she could use some family around and I’d hate to have to stash her somewhere alone because she can’t be around you.”

Dean was surprised that, even after this, Gabriel was putting him before Anna. That he would ‘stash her somewhere alone’ rather than just keep him away. That was why he resolved himself to doing whatever he could to fix this and he would start now. 

While Dean and Gabriel were outside, Sam turned to Anna. “How are you?” he asked.

“Feeling pretty stupid and horrible actually,” she said plopping down on the couch. 

Sam sat down next to her. “Don’t,” he said. “Look, I’m the last person that would usually defend Dean in these situations, but you need to know that he’s an idiot, but he’s not malicious. He didn’t do this to hurt you or to hurt Cas or anything else. He just tends not to think that things can mean more to other beings than they do humans. He pretty much learned to make sure not to break a woman’s heart years ago, but the whole other beings thing? That’s still new to him and he’s not used to taking it into account.”

Anna thought about that for a minute. He had made sure that they were on the same page with it being a one-time thing with no feelings involved, so he had taken her into account as a woman. Just not as an angel. She was confused. Part of her had difficulty understanding the idea of not taking other beings into consideration, but then part of her still remembered being human and thinking they were alone in the universe. “If he talks to me, I’ll keep an open mind. That’s the best I can do,” she promised Sam.

“And that’s all I ask,” Sam told her wrapping an arm around her in a half-hug. He wanted to break the tension so he asked, “Do now that you have your angel powers and memories back does this make you my little sister or my big sister?” 

She laughed. “Well given that this might be your only chance at a little sibling, I suppose you can consider me a little sister, but you try to push me around I’ll kick your ass,” she said amusedly. 

“Duly noted…little sister,” Sam said laughing with her.

 

Dean and Gabriel got back to the house to find Anna and Sam curled up on the couch together laughing and Dean asked Anna if he could talk to her alone. She looked to Gabriel who gave her an encouraging nod so she followed Dean hesitantly out of the house. “I’m sorry Anna. I didn’t think. See, for humans…well you’ve lived as a human most of your life so you know how these things don’t really mean as much. I mean, if Cas and I had been together then I would never have let it happen, but since we weren’t I didn’t really think it would matter. Gabe tried to tell me how serious the whole soulmate thing was, but I just didn’t hear him and I put you in a position you shouldn’t have to be in, and I’m sorry. But you need to know that you didn’t do anything wrong. I did. If it ever becomes an issue, I will take full responsibility. I DO take full responsibility.” 

Anna slowly relaxed as he spoke. He was right. She had lived as a human. She knew how they tended to do whatever they wanted if they weren’t officially attached, regardless of how complicated their non-attachments were. She still thought that he had been an insensitive ass, even by human standards, but it was nothing that couldn’t be forgiven, and he was obviously going to be around often. She could see that Gabriel thought of him as family and she didn’t want to be sent away if she made waves so she just said. “I forgive you. But don’t ask me to hide anything if you and Castiel ever make it together”

“I wouldn’t do that. And thank you,” Dean said. He almost hugged her, but stopped himself in time and they ended up with a rather awkward handshake, but they would get better. They could put all this behind them and they headed back to the house. 

 

“So you’re good with Anna being here?” Gabriel asked Sam once they were alone. 

“Yeah. I am. It’ll be nice having a sister around. I’ve never had one of those before,” Sam said cheerfully. 

“Don’t get too excited. They’re highly annoying,” Gabriel said with a laugh, mostly joking. 

“So I’ve heard.”

By the time Dean and Anna got back, Gabriel could tell that there was still some awkwardness between them, but that was to be expected. “You two good?” he asked. 

“Yeah. We’re good. Or we’re getting there at least. We will be,” Anna said nervously, waiting for the judgement. 

“Okay good. I’d hate to have a difficult time ever time Dean comes to visit,” Gabriel said cheerfully making it clear that she was staying and Dean wasn’t going anywhere either. They ended up spending a few days there to get used to the new dynamic before Sam and Dean went back to the real world in the same moment they had left. 

Sam was back not long after that though. He was a mess. He’d had to kill a couple of kids who’d been tortured into becoming monsters and it ate at him. That was one of the things he’d hated about his job. He ended up being there for weeks, but between Gabriel and Anna they soon had him set to rights and he felt ready to get back to the world. 

After dealing with a homicidal magician, their next case wasn’t really much better for Sam when he found out that one of the worst bullies at his school had just been acting out because his mother was dying and when he turned the school against him he’d taken his own life and was tormenting people as a ghost. He felt like it was all his fault and by the time it was over he was more determined than ever to leave hunting, and maybe even earth, far behind once this whole apocalypse mess was over. He managed to keep his visit to Gabe to a few days this time. He was starting to feel like he was using his lover as a crutch and he didn’t like it. He made sure not to shut him out again, remembering how well that worked last time, and he let Gabriel give him what he needed, but he was still determined to try and get through things on his own. 

Sam knew that something was really wrong when the doctor kissed him and he didn’t try to push her away and in fact did the opposite. It wasn’t like he was possessed. He just felt like all his good sense was being overridden by something and the part of his mind that was still in control. The part where his bond resided, called out to Gabriel who immediately snatched him home. “What…what’s wrong with me?” Sam panted trying to keep the part of him that wanted nothing more than to go back to her in check. At least in front of his lover. 

Gabriel scrutinized him for a moment, trying to tamp down the rage and jealousy he felt when he saw Sam kissing someone in check. “Siren,” he said reaching out a hand to clear Sam’s system. As soon as he had said siren, Anna’s eye’s widened and she left the room. “I think we need to talk,” Gabriel said seriously. 

“I’m sorry, Gabe. Really. I…I didn’t know what I was doing. I…I tried. I’m so sorry,” Sam said pleadingly assuming that Gabriel was upset about what he’d done. 

“No I get that. I’m not blaming you for that. It was the siren’s spell. But…Sam…Sirens…they give you your heart’s desire.”

“What? No! That’s not…that’s not what I want! I swear!”

“I want to believe you, Sam,” Gabriel said in a pained voice as he looked away. 

“No, please, Gabe, just…just listen for a second. I mean, yeah…occasionally some part of me may want to be with a woman again…that’s just human nature…it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you with everything I have and it doesn’t mean I want that instead of us. But it being my ‘heart’s desire’? Not a chance. You’re my heart’s desire, Gabe. Always will be. Maybe…maybe it was more feeding off my desire to have someone who could be there with me, rather than having to hide you, or my residual hope for a normal life…I don’t know, but I love YOU, Gabe. You’re the one I want. The only one I want. In whatever way I can have you. You have to know that. Read my mind if you need to. I need you to know that. To believe that.” 

Gabriel could hear the desperation in the hunter’s voice and looked at him to see tears shining in his eyes, so, despite his disbelief, and his fear at what he might find, he did as the hunter asked and looked into his mind, but he looked beyond the surface. The surface could show him whatever Sam wanted him to see. He dug deep. All the way. What he found mostly matched what Sam had said. It was a little more than ‘occassionally some part of him may want to be with a woman’. Sam missed having a woman’s body to sleep with, but it wasn’t nearly as strong as his desire for Gabriel which was the only reason the archangel made his next offer. “I can make myself a woman from time to time. Not too often, mind you, but once in a while. When the want gets strong enough.”

Sam blinked at him for a moment. It wasn’t supposed to work that way. When you made a choice, that was your choice and he had chosen Gabriel and didn’t regret it for a second. “You don’t have to…”

“I know I don’t. I know you’re happy with me just the way I am. I could see that much, but that doesn’t mean you can’t want other things sometimes too, and I want to give you everything you want. One of the perks of being an archangel.”

“As long as you know that I don’t regret anything. That you will always be my choice and I want you far more than I will ever want anyone or anything else. I never want you to feel like you’re second best or like you’re not good enough, because you’re everything to me,” Sam said seriously. 

“I know, Samshine,” Gabriel said, kissing him deeply. 

“Okay. Then yeah. Okay. Just…not now. Let’s get the bad taste of this out of our mouths first and I have a brother to save from a siren,” he said. 

“You might need this then,” Gabriel said handing over a blood coated knife. “I got some of your blood before I cleaned you up. This will kill her. Just don’t let her kiss you again. In fact, keep your mouth closed completely. They can squirt.”

Sam grimaced at the thought and kissed Gabriel one more time. “I do love you, Gabe. More than life.”

“And I love you, my sweet Samshine,” Gabriel said happily, snapping his fingers and sending Sam back to the bitch and the hunter wasted no time burying the blade in her heart.


	37. Chapter 37

The siren incident was put out of both of their minds. Dean didn’t want to talk about what he’d encountered and Sam was afraid to ask, so they just let it go and moved on. Sam could tell that his brother was even more on edge than before though. He knew what was wrong. He wanted Cas. How was he supposed to make any progress if the angel was never around?

Dean was getting pretty damn sick and tired of Alastair. The bastard just kept popping up. Going after Anna and now this? When Sam had the idea to become ghosts to get to the reapers Dean looked at him like he was nuts. “Don’t you think you should…you know…let someone know before you start planning to die?” 

“Right. Yeah,” Sam said sheepishly. It wouldn’t help them much if Gabriel just brought him back. Especially if it meant revealing himself in the process and he didn’t even want to think what the archangel would say when he found out it was planned. 

“Are you nuts!” Gabriel yelled when Sam appeared in front of him after his prayer. “Since when is dying a solution to anything!?”

“Just hear me out, Gabe and if you can come up with a better idea, I’m all ears,” Sam said. 

“I don’t care if it’s the only way. I will not just let you die!”

“It won’t be forever. I have a plan to come back too,” Sam protested. 

“It better be a damn good one,” Gabriel huffed and crossed his arms. 

When Sam explained about the seal and the reapers and how his plan worked and was more astral projection than death really, Gabriel had to admit that it had merit, but it didn’t mean he liked it. He wanted nothing more than to just take over and fix it himself, damn the consequences, but he had to learn to trust his bonded. If he thought he could pull it off, he would give him the chance and if Gabriel had to step in to save him…well it would be no different than if he stepped in now except that it would save an argument and might give him a little more leeway to talk Sam out of the next stupid plan he tried to come up with. “Fine. But I don’t like it,” he said dangerously. 

They managed to save the seal, and gained a new respect for the effects of rock salt and iron on ghosts, and they nearly lost Pamela, but she was scrappy enough to fight the demons off until the hunters woke up and only sustained minor injuries. It was a good thing she saw them coming. If she had let herself be caught unawares she would have been done for and then Gabe really would have had to save their asses. As they were leaving Alastair cornered them but soon disappeared in a flash of lightning. “What the hell?” Dean asked. 

“Guess again,” a low voice said from behind them and they turned to see Cas standing there. 

“What just happened?” Dean asked confused.

“What just happened? You and Sam just saved a seal. We captured Alastair. Dean, this was a victory,” Castiel said proudly. 

“Well, no thanks to you,” Dean said annoyed. He was going to keep bringing up the fact that he was in danger and Cas did nothing until it sunk in. He knew from Gabe how difficult it was to sit on the sidelines while your soulmate was in trouble.

“What makes you say that?” the angel asked cryptically.

“You were here the whole time?” Dean asked incredulously. 

“Enough of it,” Castiel said almost smug.

“Well, thanks for your help with the rock salt,” Dean said petulantly. 

“That script on the funeral home—we couldn't penetrate it,” the angel pointed out. 

Dean had forgotten about that. Of course he had recognized at least some of it. “That was angel-proofing,” he half-asked. 

“Why do you think I recruited you and Sam in the first place?” Castiel asked. 

Dean gaped at him for a second. He was really going to play that card? He was going to try and take credit for it? “You recruited us?” he asked skeptically.

“That wasn't your friend Bobby who called, Dean. It wasn't Bobby who told Sam about the seal,” he told him unapologetically. 

“That was you?!” When Cas just looked down in answer Dean got even more annoyed. Pretending to be people he cared about was a sure-fire way to get his goat. “If you want our help, why the hell didn't you just ask?”

“Because whatever I ask, you seem to do the exact opposite,” Castiel said almost sadly. 

Dean could give him that much. He could see how it could seem that way. He only had himself to blame though. “Maybe if you gave fewer tests and more answers it might be different.” That seemed to get the angel’s attention as he looked searchingly at the hunter and once again, Dean found himself lost in the angel’s eyes. When he came back to himself he felt the need to change the subject. “So, what now, huh? The people in this town, they just gonna start dying again?”

“Yes.”

“These are good people. What, you think you can make a few exceptions?” He had to try. He’d known it was a long shot. Even Gabriel had said as much. 

“To everything there is a season,” Castiel said. 

“You made an exception for me,” Dean pointed out trying to get Cas to acknowledge…something. That there was something between them other than cold efficiency. 

Dean was starting to learn that listening to Cas’ words and watching his body language was very deceiving. Every time he got lost in those eyes, he saw everything the angel couldn’t or wouldn’t say. “You're different,” Cas said softly before he disappeared. 

Dean should have known capturing Alastair would come back to bite him in the ass and when he found himself in that warehouse being asked to torture the demon because he had been his ‘protégé’ down in hell, he felt sick. He could at least comfort himself with the fact that it was Uriel doing the asking instead of Cas, but the other angel was just standing there and letting it happen. When he tried to interfere and Uriel slapped him down, Dean just got pissed. He managed to get Cas alone and asked, “What's going on, Cas? Since when does Uriel put a leash on you?”

“My superiors have begun to question my sympathies,” Castiel said evenly and Dean could see in his eyes that it was a sore subject, but it might just be his way in.

“Your sympathies?”

“I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt. This can impair my judgment,” he said as if reading a script or quoting someone. 

Dean knew that he wouldn’t be able to get past this one. Not if he was the reason behind it. He would have to let Cas work through that one on his own. “Well, tell Uriel, or whoever...you do not want me doing this, trust me.”

“Want it, no. But I have been told we need it,” Cas said sadly. 

Dean could tell that Cas was being truthful in that he didn’t want it, and the way he said that ‘he’d been told’ they needed it hinted at more doubt. Still, “You ask me to open that door and walk through it, you will not like what walks back out.”

“For what it's worth, I would give anything not to have you do this,” Cas said looking at Dean with all the pain that he saw reflected in the hunter’s eyes. 

Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath and walked into the room where Alastair was chained up only to find that he couldn’t move. He could feel his chest tightening and his breath was cutting off and he knew the signs of a panic attack as well as anyone and he refused to have one here, in front of Alastair of all beings. He sent out a silent prayer to Gabriel to get him out of there and when he appeared in their living room it was like his lungs reinflated and he gasped for air as his knees buckled, but Gabriel caught him before he hit the floor. “What happened?” he asked alarmed. 

“I…I can’t do it Gabe. I just…I can’t…don’t make me go back there…please…” he whimpered, holding onto the archangel for dear life. 

Gabriel rubbed Dean’s back as he led them over to the couch. “Okay, Dean. It’s okay. You don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to go anywhere. It’s okay.” He knew he wasn’t going to get any information from the hunter in this state. He needed to calm him down first. 

“I can’t…can’t torture him…I don’t…I’m not…not that person. I don’t want…to remember…to use…all that…I just can’t,” Dean babbled. 

Gabriel was getting pieces of the puzzle and he really didn’t like the picture it painted. If someone was trying to make Dean torture someone, to dredge up those memories of hell, to make him try to be what he was down there, he would make sure they regretted it. “It’s okay Dean. I won’t let anyone make you do anything. I promise,” he assured the hunter who was finally starting to calm down. Gabriel knew that Dean was back when he pushed away from the archangel and angrily wiped the tears from his face and started looking for a way out. Gabriel couldn’t let him leave just yet though, not that he could. “I need you to tell me what’s going on, Dean,” he said gently. 

“They captured Alastair. Said he was killing angels. They need me to torture information out of him. They said I’m the only one who can do it,” Dean told him. 

“That’s a load of bullshit if I’ve ever heard it. A demon can’t kill an angel. Nothing can except another angel. And the idea that you’re the only one who can torture information out of him? Total crap. The angels practically invented torture. They could even teach Lilith a thing or two. Who the hell is this they you mentioned?” Gabriel asked dangerously. 

“Uriel and…and Cas.”


	38. Chapter 38

“Okay, let’s get your brother here and explain what’s going on so he doesn’t worry. I’m gonna take care of this, but I need time to be working normally, which means Sam can’t stay though and he will definitely notice that you’re missing. If you want to go clean yourself up first, I’ll wait a few minutes,” Gabriel told him. 

“You’re not gonna…” Dean trailed off. 

“I’m not going to reveal myself. Don’t worry. I have other ways. I am the trickster after all,” he said with a wink and Dean laughed and headed to the bathroom. 

When he came out, Gabriel called Sam who looked around curiously. “What’s going on?” 

“I just wanted to let you know your brother is safe. He’s been tapped for a job by the angels and since I know they didn’t tell you they were taking him, I am. Of course, he will be here while I do the job, but unfortunately I need time to pass while I do it so you can’t stay. You need to be where they expect you to be.”

“You’re…but…you can’t!” Sam said alarmed. He couldn’t let Gabriel get caught now. 

“Don’t worry kiddo. I have a plan,” he said before he snapped his fingers and there was a replica of Dean standing there and Gabriel seemed to fall asleep as the Dean imposter spoke. “See Samshine? Just like with the hunter that gave you the knives. No grace, no powers, no one will see me at all. They will just see Dean.”

When Gabriel, in the body that looked like Dean, started walking towards him, Sam said, “Don’t you dare kiss me like that.” Both Deans burst out laughing before the fake one went eerily silent and Gabriel’s ringing laughter joined the mix and Sam couldn’t help but join in. 

“So we ready to pull this off?” Gabriel asked and when he got nods from both of them, he kissed Sam, in his own body, and snapped his fingers sending him back to his room and then ‘fell asleep’ again, while sending Dean’s body into that room with the demon. 

Gabriel worked him over really well. Probably far beyond what Dean would have been able to do on his worst day. Alastair was very talkative. It took a while to get what Gabriel…or rather the morons outside the room wanted to know, but he was getting enough information to pass onto Dean that it was safe to know at least. Nothing new, but things he’d had to pretend not to know. He had gotten confirmation that Alastair had nothing to do with the dead angels when suddenly things went wrong. The demon broke out of the trap and threw him across the room. He knew that he could always just pull his real body, powers and all here, but it wasn’t strictly necessary. This was gonna hurt like a bitch though. 

Gabriel was a good fighter. He’d had to be. Better than Dean if he was honest, but that was in his own body. This one was too unfamiliar for him to be able to use like he normally would. In the end he didn’t think he was any worse than the hunter would actually have been, but he was no better either. Either way he was getting his ass kicked and he was so glad he had a demon killing knife on him. Getting a chance to use it however, that was the trick. By the time he did, this body was extremely broken and Gabriel gladly let it go unconscious so he could get back to his own body.

Gabriel woke on the couch with a gasp and a cough. “Son of a bitch,” he groaned. 

Dean couldn’t help but chuckle. “I think you were me a little too long,” he joked. “How did it go?” 

“Well you’ll be in the hospital for a while unless my dear little brother decides to heal you. Fools don’t know how to keep a devil’s trap intact. That or this was a deliberate attempt on your life or your sanity or both.”

“Hospital?” Dean asked incredulously. 

“Best I could tell before I lost consciousness, a few broken ribs, a concussion, a cracked jaw, a broken arm, and a broken collarbone. Not to mention too many cuts and bruises to count. Damn demon,” Gabriel grumbled, still sore that he got his ass kicked so handily. “Don’t worry. I’ll be able to keep most of the pain away. All of it would be too suspicious, but I’ll make sure it’s not too bad,” he assured the hunter. 

“Okay. Great. So anything I should know?” Dean asked, not that he couldn’t feign memory loss with those injuries. 

“Well Alastair spilled the beans on you breaking the first seal, and among many other colorful insults, said you were weak and not all here. That some of you was left in hell, which is a load of crap, but you could probably use that.”

“Use it how?” Dean asked.

“This incident is going to make Cassie question…well…everything. If he sees you fall apart on him. That might just push him over the edge.”

“You want me to start crying on the guy?” Dean asked distastefully. 

“That might just be what it takes. Someone like you, someone as strong as you…to see you break when it’s so out of character…”

“I broke before, you know. In hell,” Dean pointed out. 

“Exactly. It will make Cassie think that he’s no better than hell. That he’s just as bad for you as hell was. And that will hopefully jolt some sense into him.” 

“Or make him more determined to stay away from me,” Dean pointed out. 

“He might try for a while, but he won’t be able to resist for long. Trust me.”

“Okay. I’ll try it,” Dean said resignedly. He really didn’t like the idea of falling apart in front of Cas of all people, but he was going crazy. Every time he saw the angel it was getting harder and harder to resist him. He was willing to try anything now.

“Ok. I’ll replace you in the hospital now. You probably won’t wake up for a bit though,” Gabriel told him. 

When Dean did wake up, he saw Cas sitting by his bedside. That was a good sign. “Are you all right?”

“No thanks to you,” Dean said accusatorily. 

“You need to be more careful,” Castiel told him. 

Dean barely resisted the urge to scream. He was going to blame Dean for this? “You need to learn how to manage a damn devil's trap.”

“That's not what I mean. Uriel is dead,” the angel said sadly. 

“Was it the demons?” Dean asked despite already knowing it wasn’t. 

“It was disobedience. He was working against us,” Cas said sadly. 

Dean knew that it was only against Cas he was working. He was at least sure that his angel didn’t know the full game. He knew there was no reason for Cas to believe him though so he let it go for now and went with Gabriel’s plan. “Is it true? Did I break the first seal? Did I start all this?” he asked brokenly.

“Yes. When we discovered Lilith's plan for you, we laid siege to hell and we fought our way to get to you before you…“

“Jump-started the apocalypse,” Dean said with self-loathing. 

“And we were too late,” Castiel said sadly. 

“Why didn't you just leave me there, then?” Dean asked voice breaking just a bit. 

“It's not blame that falls on you, Dean, it's fate. The righteous man who begins it is the only one who can finish it. You have to stop it.”

Talk about a lot to put on a guy’s shoulders. Without doing much to help either. Sure Gabe was asking them to stop it, but he was helping. A lot. Making sure they had all the information they could, giving advice, and even stepping in when need be like he had here. Cas was just piling it all on him. He played like he was overwhelmed and maybe teetering on the edge of hysterical. “Lucifer? The apocalypse? What does that mean? Hey! Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. What does that mean!”

“I don't know.”

“Bull.” Dean knew he really didn’t know but maybe that response would get him to dig a little deeper. 

“I don't. Dean, they don't tell me much. I know our fate rests with you,” he said as though he had complete faith in the hunter.

That, more than anything, gave Dean what he needed to complete the ruse. That faith that Dean was his salvation even while being manipulated to work against him, on top of everything else. It made this so much easier. “Well, then you guys are screwed. I can't do it, Cas. It's too big. Alastair was right. I'm not all here. I'm not—I'm not strong enough. Well, I guess I'm not the man either of our dads wanted me to be. Find someone else. It's not me,” he said as he started to cry.


	39. Chapter 39

Castiel retreated to the heaven he often sought refuge in. Never had he sought refuge as often as he had these past months though. His heart and his mind were at odds. He was filled with feelings that he had never known. At least in his memory. His superiors had been right to question his judgement. To relieve him of command. He was dangerously close to disobedience and he didn’t know how to stop it. His doubts were growing by the day and it was getting more and more difficult to push them away. He wasn’t sure how long he had been hiding there, but he was roused from it by a prayer of all things. A prayer from Dean. It was the first time the hunter had ever prayed to him and he couldn’t not answer. He arrived to find that they had encountered the prophet and Lilith was supposed to meeting with Sam. Dean wanted Castiel to stop it but he couldn’t. 

Dean and Sam had gone to Gabriel first who had explained that even he couldn’t undo what the prophet had written. If he needed to step in then he would do so without hesitation, but they had to let it play out. He asked them to please try to find a way to make it work out without him having to step in. He hadn’t needed to ask though. They knew that the longer he stayed a secret the better. So Dean decided to try to make Cas help. Somehow. When the angel refused to even try. Refused to stick his neck out even a little, Dean had enough. He couldn’t keep doing this. “Screw you. You and your mission. If you don't help me now, then when the time comes and you need me... don't bother knocking.” He stormed off, brushing roughly by the angel in the process. 

The angel felt like his whole world was falling apart around him. He didn’t know what he could do, but he knew he couldn’t just let Dean walk away. Not like this. “Dean. Dean!” 

“What?!” Dean snapped as he turned around. 

Castiel took a deep breath as he committed himself to his course of action. “You must understand why I can't intercede. Prophets are very special. They're protected,” he said carefully. 

“I get that,” Dean said leadingly, wondering where he was going with this. 

“If anything threatens a prophet, anything at all, an archangel will appear to destroy that threat. Archangels are fierce. They're absolute. They're heaven's most terrifying weapon.”

Dean had trouble picturing Gabriel like that, but he knew that he probably could be if he wanted to. “And these archangels, they're tied to prophets?” Dean asked starting to get an idea of what Cas was saying. Or rather trying not to say. 

“Yes,” Castiel said, relieved that the hunter seemed to be getting it. 

“So if a prophet was in the same room as a demon…”

“Then the most fearsome wrath of heaven would rain down on that demon. Just so you understand... why I can't help,” the angel said looking anywhere but at the hunter and trying to be nonchalant about it…and failing. 

Dean couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face. So he still wasn’t willing to break the rules, but he was willing to work around them. For him. They were getting there. “Thanks, Cas.”

“Good luck,” Castiel whispered as he disappeared. He just hoped he had walked a fine enough line to keep himself out of trouble. It was time to start digging. To start figuring out exactly what was going on here. 

Cas’ plan worked and Sam was saved from Lilith’s machinations, but the prophet went missing right after. Gabriel said the angels probably stashed him somewhere claiming safety reasons, but mostly so he couldn’t help them again. He assured them that Chuck wouldn’t be hurt. They couldn’t hurt him even if they wanted to. 

When they found out they had another brother, Gabriel didn’t seem surprised. Sam started to get mad, thinking that Gabriel had hidden it from him but the archangel cut him off at the pass. “I didn’t KNOW anything. I just know that your father wasn’t a monk all that time on the road. It’s not surprising that he’s got another kid out there. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were more than one.” Sam accepted that and he would have thought of it too if he’d had any desire to even consider his father’s sex life. 

Sam and Dean argued about the kid a lot. Adam asked to help. He asked to learn and Sam had no problem teaching him. He didn’t want him to become a hunter any more than Dean did, but knowing what he did now about their bloodline, he felt it was better that Adam know how to protect himself than just leaving him in the dark. It wasn’t like he was forcing it on him like their dad had done to Sam. Dean just wanted Adam to remain innocent though. To stay as far away from this stuff as he could, but Sam wasn’t delusional enough to believe that the supernatural world would leave him alone. It had already come knocking. 

By the time they realized their brother wasn’t actually their brother, it was nearly too late. Dean was trapped in a crypt and Sam was tied down to a table. Gabriel had to throw some weight around to help Dean get out so that he could save Sam. He kept a close eye on things though, and was almost ready to intervene when Dean made it in the nick of time. Gabriel spent a good long time with Sam after that though. Not letting him out of his sight for weeks before he sent him back to the real world. 

It wasn’t long after that when Castiel appeared in Dean’s dream. “We need to talk.”

“I'm dreaming, aren't I?” Dean asked, suddenly very glad that he hadn’t been in one of his increasingly frequent sexual dreams about the angel in question. 

“It's not safe here. Someplace more private,” Castiel said acting all squirrely. 

“More private? We're inside my head,” Dean pointed out. 

“Exactly. Someone could be listening,” the angel said nervously.

“Cas, what's wrong?” Dean asked alarmed. 

“Meet me here,” he said handing Dean a piece of paper. When Dean just looked at the address curiously, the angel said, rather impatiently, “Go now,” and put a finger to his head to wake him up. 

They got to the warehouse to find what looked like an angelic battleground if the sigils were anything to go by. When they finally found someone crawling out of the rubble, Sam rushed over. “Cas!” he cried out worriedly. 

“That’s not Cas,” Dean said narrowing his eyes at the guy. “Cas isn’t in there anymore”

“He’s not?” Sam asked looking back and forth between them. 

“No. My name is Jimmy,” the guy said. “And I want to go home.”

They managed to talk him out of going home, promising to send some hunters by to check on his family. Only the fact that Gabriel could get them back without any lapse in time had them leaving the man alone while they went to talk to Gabriel and Anna. Gabriel wasn’t much help. He didn’t have much idea of how things worked in heaven these days. Anna had some insight though. “He got sent back home. Well more like dragged back.”

“To heaven? I’m guessing that’s not a good thing,” Dean said trying to calm the panic that was welling up in him. 

“No. That's a very bad thing. Painfully, awfully bad. He must have seriously pissed someone off,” she said apologetically. 

“He said he had something to tell me. Something important,” Dean told her. 

“And you think he finally figured things out. That he was about to jump the fence?” Gabriel asked. 

“Yeah. That’s exactly what I think. And if they stopped him. If they knew…” Dean left it open as a question. 

“Then he’ll be in re-education,” Anna said with a wince. 

Everyone else joined in the wince when the sound of glass shattering echoed through the house as Gabriel’s book shattered the windows. “What…what can we do?” Dean asked. 

“Short of laying siege to heaven and dying in the process…nothing,” Gabriel said stepping out the hole in the wall and storming off. Sam just let him go and blow off some steam. He knew that he would never be able to get through to him like this, but his brother did need him right now. 

Sam managed to catch Dean before he hit the floor and help him to the couch as his shaking increased and he tried to keep himself together. He didn’t know what re-education was exactly, but he could imagine. And he would guess that it was far worse than anything he could imagine. He knew that all the progress they’d made to this point would be lost, but he didn’t care about that right now. All he cared about was the fact that Cas was undergoing torture and it was partially his fault. His fault for pushing, his fault for even existing and causing Cas to feel.


	40. Chapter 40

Once Dean had gotten ahold of himself, he didn’t want to stay any longer than he had to. He needed to play this out. He had to believe that Cas would be back. That they couldn’t erase everything. That he would still be Cas when he got back. He couldn’t just stay here in this timeless place knowing that every moment he was here was one moment longer that he would be waiting. Sam agreed, though he hated leaving Gabriel like this. The archangel assured him he was fine and that he would see him soon. This was one of those times where Dean needed Sam more than Gabriel did. At least he wasn’t leaving Gabriel alone. Anna could help him through this. 

It was a few days before Cas was back and in the meantime, Sam and Gabriel had discussed different options, during their off days together, but nothing had been decided. Gabriel was torn. Anything he did carried a great deal of risk, but doing nothing was abhorrent to the archangel. In his mind, Cas had asked for help and he couldn’t turn his back on that any more than he could on Anna. Even less given what Cas meant to Dean. When Dean tried to ask Cas what he had tried to tell him before, the angel spun and him and said coldly, “I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean. I serve heaven, I don't serve man, and I certainly don't serve you.”

Dean sprung into action, seeing that Cas was about to leave. “Cas, wait, please,” he said reaching the angel’s side in the blink of an eye. He put a hand to either side of his face and said desperately, “Please, Cas. Don’t go. Not like this. Remember. Please.” When the angel started to shift uncomfortably and was just about to break the hunter’s grip, and maybe his hands in the process, Dean stupidly went for it and leaned forward pressing his lips to Cas’. It was short and chaste, but meant everything to the hunter. Right up until Cas started to pull away and then Dean did the stupidest thing so far. “Gabriel please,” he whispered as the most heartfelt prayer he could. The next thing Castiel knew, he was alone in a tightly warded room. 

Dean, along with Sam who had just been watching on in shock, appeared in the living room to a pacing archangel. This had been one of the options he had considered, but he hated having his hand forced. “You realize that he will be a prisoner forever now if I can’t undo the brainwashing,” he said harshly. 

“I know,” Dean said sadly. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t…I couldn’t start over. I couldn’t just…watch him walk away, knowing that even if I did manage to make any progress it would just mean more torture for him. I can’t do it. I’m sorry.”

Gabriel sighed. He should have known this would all blow up in his face. He did know. The second he found out Cassie and Dean were soulmates he had known. He had tried to convince himself that it could work in their favor, but obviously he had been wrong. Now he had to hold a brother hostage and try to undo millennia of brainwashing. Anna had come to him mostly done. This time he would have to start from scratch. Hopefully, the connection with Dean would ease his way. “I know. It’s alright. We’ll manage.”

“Where…where is he? Can I…can I see him?” Dean asked hopefully. 

“Not right now. Let me work on him a bit first,” Gabriel told him. 

“Work on him how?” Dean asked glaring at the archangel. 

“Jesus, Dean. What kind of person do you think I am? I’m not going to hurt him! Not physically anyway. I can almost guarantee that he won’t be in very good shape after accepting that his whole life is a lie, but that can’t exactly be avoided.”

“Yeah. Sorry,” Dean said sheepishly. “I never thought you would. Not really. Just…”

“The instinct to protect can get the better of you sometimes. I know,” Gabriel said understandingly. He’d been there often enough himself and he had a lot more experience in self-control. 

Gabriel left the room and headed towards the basement he had just installed for this purpose. It wasn’t a cell exactly, but it wasn’t exactly nice. In fact, it was pretty bare. Anna had needed coddling, but Gabriel knew that it would have the opposite affect on Castiel. He needed to beat over the head with the truth. Bluntly and harshly. It was the only way. And it would mean so much more coming from him, as an archangel, than anyone else. “Castiel,” he said stepping out of the shadows. 

“What do you think you are doing, pagan?” the seraph sneered. 

“Oh, right, forgot about that,” Gabriel said with a shrug as he let his grace come to the surface and spread his wings.

“G-Gabriel? But…how? You were dead,” he stammered. 

“Not dead. I just left when heaven changed,” he said bluntly, making no apologies. 

“What do you mean heaven changed,” Castiel asked suspiciously. 

“Heaven wasn’t always filled with cold heartless soldiers and ruthless plots. It used to be a place of love and laughter and joy. Then father left and Michael went on a rampage. He brainwashed all of you seraphs to serve him unconditionally and turned you into an army. He couldn’t brainwash me so they tortured me instead, until I left.”

“You lie,” Castiel said disbelivingly. 

“Oh come on Cassie. I used to call you that, if you remembered. I left you enough of your power to know the truth from a lie.”

“How do I know you’re not distorting things?” he said. 

“I know that Dean Winchester is your soulmate,” he said trying a different means. “They are trying to make you betray your soulmate. Have already made you betray your soulmate and you are letting them.”

“It doesn’t matter. He belongs to Michael…”

“Bullshit!” Gabriel said harshly. “Soulmates are sacred. Even they can’t erase that. To interfere with soulmates is low even for them.”

“It is not my place to question…”

“The hell it isn’t!” Gabriel snapped. “You will let them destroy your soulmate?” He saw the seraph start to waver and went in for the kill. “Let me show you what you’ve already done to him,” he said waving a hand and an image projected on the wall of Dean falling apart when they asked him to torture Alistair, then turned into him crying in the hospital, and then the way he lost it when Cas had been taken. He put them on a loop and then left. He would come back later when the seraph was good and broken. He hated having to do this, but he had to break him to fix him. It was the only way. He wouldn’t harm a hair on his head, but it was his mind that he had to reach. He would make up for it later.

He walked back upstairs and didn’t say a word as he made his way to the cabinet and drained half of a bottle of whiskey in one go. Sam walked up behind him and slid his arms around Gabriel’s waist, pressing a soothing kiss to his neck. “I’m okay, Samshine,” he said softly. “It’s just…” he trailed off. 

“I know,” Sam said understandingly. “Come on. Let’s go to bed.” He knew when Gabriel just needed some stress relief and Sam was going to make sure he got it. 

It was the middle of the night before Gabriel left the bed and went back down to the basement to find the seraph staring brokenly at the repeating loop of video. Gabriel snapped his fingers and turned it off and Castiel spun to look at him. “You’re asking me to go against heaven,” he said fearfully.

Gabriel stepped into the room and took his little brother in his arms. “No, Cassie. I’m asking you to go against Michael. The heaven you know is a sham. It’s never what it was meant to be. Here, look,” Gabriel said turning him so that he could see the wall again, still holding him close, as visions from heaven in the old days showed now. There were sparkling gardens, spinning fountains, laughter could be heard ringing from every direction. Michael and Gabriel, as teenagers running around happily with dozens of small children and Castiel was enthralled. “Do you remember, Cassie? Try to remember, little one.”

“I…I don’t…you…you always let me sit on your lap when you told us stories,” he said confused as to where the memory was coming from. 

“That’s right. You were always such a loving child. You just wanted to be cuddled. You didn’t really care what stories I was telling as long as you could sit with me,” Gabriel said fondly. 

Castiel seemed to relax in his brother’s embrace for a moment before he stiffened and pushed away. “No. Stop it. Turn it off. What are you doing to me?” he asked frightened. 

“I’m showing you the truth, Cassie,” Gabriel said softly. He knew it was working. The seraph had remembered something. A small something, but it was there. The memories weren’t erased, they were just buried. That was a good sign and he couldn’t stop pushing. Gabriel had enough memories of heaven as it was to last millennia, even if he limited it to the memories with Cassie in them. He left the videos showing as he left the seraph alone in the room again. He would remember. He just needed space.


	41. Chapter 41

Dean woke first the next morning and snuck downstairs to see Cas. He hadn’t slept much, unable to fully relax with everything going on. He needed to see with his own eyes that Cas was alright. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Gabriel. He did. He just needed to see for himself. When he got to the bottom of the stairs and took in the sight he had to remind himself that angels didn’t sleep and they didn’t need to sit or eat or anything that would require any furniture because there wasn’t any in the place, so while it may look cruel to him, it really wasn’t. The main thing that struck him though was the angel standing in the center of the room, staring transfixed at the video playing on the wall with tears running down his face. “Is that heaven?” Dean asked softly, stepping into the room. 

“It was,” Castiel said sadly. “I just don’t understand…” he trailed off. 

Dean stepped up behind him and tentatively wrapped his arms around the angel’s stomach, resting his chin on his shoulder, and he hoped that he wasn’t overstepping his bounds. “Tell me about it?” he asked hopefully. 

“You can see it,” Cas said furrowing his brow in confusion. 

“I know. I just want to hear from your point of view. What you remember. What it was like. Will you tell me?” Dean knew that getting him to remember heaven how it used to be was a big step and he wanted to see if it was possible. If any progress was made. More than that though, he wanted to know his angel. 

“I remember, bits and pieces. It is…fragmented. They…they tried to take it from me,” he said heartbroken. 

“Because if you remembered this, you could never be the ruthless obedient soldier they wanted,” Dean said softly. 

“No, I couldn’t,” he whispered as his hands came up to cover Dean’s and his head fell back against the hunter’s shoulder. “You knew? All along?”

“Knew what?” Dean asked. He had known a lot of things and he wanted to know exactly what they were talking about. 

“We are soulmates,” he said matter-of-factly. Only the fact that Dean could feel his pulse racing and his hands shaking told him that the angel was nervous. 

“I knew,” Dean said tightening his arms. 

“But you didn’t say,” Cas said leaving the question unasked. 

“I couldn’t. Not until I knew that you would put me first. That you wouldn’t betray me if you were ordered to. That I could trust you.”

“You kissed me,” he pointed out.

“Yeah,” Dean said sheepishly. “I knew what they were doing to you up there. Not the details of course, but I knew it was bad and then you were back, but you were so cold and I thought I had lost you forever and I kinda panicked a little. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” 

“Because now you’re locked up here and having all this painful crap thrown at you that I’m sure you don’t want to deal with and it’s my fault, so yeah. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” Cas said almost inaudibly. “It was necessary. This is…painful…yes…but worth it.”

Dean didn’t know what to say to that so he turned his attention back to the wall and asked again, “So will you tell me about it?” 

“Will you let me out of here?” Castiel asked. He didn’t really want to talk about it until he had a better handle on his own memories and he wanted out of this room. 

“It’s not my decision, Cas. I’m sorry,” he said apologetically. 

“It’s Gabriel’s?” the angel guessed.

“Yeah. He can’t let you out until he’s sure you won’t go running back to heaven and tell them about him and what we’re doing here.”

“I don’t know what you’re doing here,” Cas pointed out. 

“We’re trying to stop the apocalypse,” Dean told him freely. 

Cas sighed heavily. “I thought we were too. That’s…that’s what I was going to tell you. I found out…we were working to start it.”

“I know. I’ve always known. Ever since you brought me back,” Dean admitted. 

“I didn’t know, Dean. I promise you I didn’t,” Cas rushed to assure him. 

“I know you didn’t. I would have been able to tell if you had,” Dean told him. 

Cas breathed a sigh of relief at that and he said, “I think I have an idea to stop all this.”

“You do? Really?” Dean spun him around and held him at arm’s length as he looked at him full of hope. He knew that all Gabriel was doing was buying time. He still didn’t have any good solutions to stop it completely, but if Cas did…that changed things. 

“I do,” he said seriously. 

Dean pulled him in and kissed him hard and fast. “I’ll go get the others,” he said running from the room, not noticing the dazed seraph standing there touching his lips. 

Dean burst into Sam and Gabriel’s room and was suddenly very glad that they made use of blankets because he was sure they were naked under there. Sam bolted awake, inadvertently rolling Gabriel away from him and the archangel just huffed in annoyance. “What is it? What’s wrong?” Sam asked. 

“Cas…he thinks he has a way out of this. For good,” Dean told him. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “So much for waiting a few days,” he grumbled good naturedly and Dean had the good grace to look abashed. “Well unless you’re standing there hoping for a peep show, get out and let us get dressed, would you?” Gabriel said with a chuckle.

“Right. Sorry,” Dean said backing out of the room. He had learned his lesson about barging in thankfully and knocked on Anna’s door and she quickly answered. After telling her the news they headed back downstairs to meet Sam and Gabriel and they all headed down to the basement, Gabriel turning off the video as they arrived. 

“Anna. You are here,” Cas said shocked to see her. 

“I am. Our brother was kind enough to bring me here to hide,” she said stiffly. 

“I…apologize…for our last meeting. I was…deceived,” he said with some difficulty. 

“Apology accepted,” she said relaxing but with little warmth. 

“Deano here tells me you have an idea to end this,” Gabriel got right down to business. 

“Can I leave this room?” Cas asked first. 

“If I’m convinced you can be trusted,” Gabriel told him. “So what’s your idea?”

“I don’t know if it’s already been considered, or how appealing you will find it,” he said tentatively. 

“That’s okay, Cas. Just tell us. We won’t hold it against you,” Dean said encouragingly. 

“Well it occurred to me that the vessels are only recognizable due to their souls. Outside of this room, the only living angel who has seen them in person is Zachariah and it is highly unlikely he looked beyond their souls,” Cas waited to make sure everyone was caught up so far. 

“That’s why hiding them out there would be so difficult. I can change their appearance, but not their souls,” Gabriel told him. 

“But perhaps someone can. How did you become pagan, brother? I could not even see your grace before you showed me,” Cas suggested. 

Gabriel blinked a moment before he slapped himself in the head. “Of course. I never even thought of that. I don’t know if it will work, and there will definitely be some issues to work out if that’s something you two even want, but it bears considering. Thanks, Cassie.” 

“You are welcome, brother.” 

Gabriel turned to the others. “Can you give us some time alone please?” 

They all nodded, and Sam kissed Gabriel before he left the room. “You are with Sam?” Cas asked once they were alone. 

“He is my bonded soulmate,” Gabriel told him. 

“That explains things,” Cas said with a nod. “What is it you wished to speak to me about?”

“Your question from before. About being let out of this room,” Gabriel told him. “If anyone finds out that I’m alive, I will be hunted and killed. You know that.”

“I do know that, and no one will find out from me. You have my word,” he said seriously. 

“Will you allow me to take you into my service?” Gabriel asked. That way he wouldn’t fall being cut off from heaven, having a direct link through an archangel, and Gabriel could be sure of his loyalty. The link would never take without it and would break if he were ever betrayed.

“I will,” Castiel said with a nod and Gabriel smiled and reached out a hand to the top of Castiel’s head and a glow lit the room. 

Castiel started to fall to a knee, as was customary, but before he could get there, Gabriel pulled him into a hug. “Never kneel to me, Cassie. I’m your brother, not your king.”

“Thank you, brother,” Cas said hugging Gabriel back tightly now that he finally remembered what he’d been missing.


	42. Chapter 42

“Do you want to come socialize or do you want some time to think,” Gabriel asked, knowing how overwhelmed the seraph must feel.

“I believe some time to think would be beneficial,” Cas said. 

“Okay. I’ll have Deano show you to the crystal garden. I think you’ll like it there. Everyone does,” he said as they made their way upstairs. 

As Dean and Cas walked outside, they found that neither of them really knew what to do now. Dean knew what he wanted, but he didn’t have any confirmation on what Cas wanted. For his part, Cas was still stuck on Dean’s comment about not being able to trust him. He hoped that had changed, but he needed to know. In the end all he could do is ask. He stopped walking and said, “Dean?” He waited until the hunter stopped walking as well and turned to face him. “Have I…earned your trust?” he asked hesitantly. 

Dean thought he knew what the angel was asking so he stepped closer and reached out a hand to his cheek. “Yeah, Cas. I trust you,” he said softly. “Do you…want me?” he asked nervously. 

“I do,” Cas said, heart racing. The two times they had kissed before had been impulsive and unexpected, but when Dean leaned forward and kissed his angel this time, it was full of purpose and meaning and promise. 

When Dean deepened the kiss, Cas’ arms wrapped around him and pulled him tightly against him as their tongues danced and they both lost themselves in the moment. It wasn’t until he felt Cas’ erection pressed against his own that he forced himself to end it. At least for a minute as he asked, again, but with completely different meaning. “Do you want me?” he asked breathlessly, forehead pressed against the angel’s. 

“I want you, Dean. All of you,” he said without hesitation but Dean could tell he was nervous. So was Dean for that matter. 

“I’ve…um…never done this before…with a guy I mean,” he admitted softly. 

“Neither have I.”

“Then we’ll learn together, yeah?” Dean asked with a lopsided smile. 

“It seems so,” Cas said. 

Dean kissed him again, but this time kept it short before he grabbed Cas’ hand and starting leading him on. He’d long dreamed of taking his angel in the center of the crystal garden. Of hearing moans in that deep gravelly voice echoing off the crystals. The fact that they were almost there made it obvious that this would be happening there. 

Cas stopped in his tracks at the entrance to the clearing and Dean let him have his moment. “It’s beautiful,” he breathed out. 

“Yeah. It is,” Dean said not taking his own eyes off of Cas. He gave him a moment to look around before nudging him forward and when Cas started following him again he led them out to the center of the lake and pulled him in for another kiss, pushing the large trenchcoat off his shoulders. Cas’ shaking hands moved to the buttons on the front of Dean’s shirt. He may not know much, but he knew this was customarily something people did naked, and since Dean was undressing him then he could do the same. 

Dean wasn’t sure just how innocent Cas was in all this, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know. It might make him even more nervous if he did, and it wasn’t like this was some random fling. This was serious and he suddenly felt the urge to make sure Cas knew that. “I love you, Cas,” he whispered against the angel’s lips, as he finished unbuttoning Cas’ shirt and slid it off the angel’s shoulders before helping Cas finish stripping off his own shirt. 

“And I, you, Dean,” Cas said as the hunter’s lips moved to his neck and he lay them down on the soft grass before settling over him and pressing his hips down, pulling a moan from them both that was amplified by the crystals. 

After a few minutes, Dean put enough distance between them to reach down and unbutton Cas’ pants. “Are you sure this is what you want, Cas?” he asked, hoping and praying the answer was yes because he really didn’t want to stop now. 

“I’m sure, Dean.”

The hunter kissed him again, only moving back long enough to divest them both of their pants. He had read enough to know how this was supposed to work and he used their precum to slick up his fingers before reaching down and pressing lightly against the angel’s puckered entrance, pausing long enough for Cas to stop him if he wanted to. When he didn’t, he slid the finger in slowly, moaning at how tight and hot he felt just on one finger and anticipating what he would feel like around his cock. 

He alternated between kissing Cas, and sucking and nipping at the angel’s neck as he worked the finger slowly, looking for something specific and he knew he found it when Cas arched up off the ground clutching at his back as a keening moan pulled from his lips. “Mmm. That’s it baby,” Dean murmured against the angel’s neck as he started moving his finger more enthusiastically as their hard cocks slid together, painting both of their stomachs in precum. When Dean slid the second finger in, Cas hissed a bit in pain, and Dean slowed down. “Sorry, baby. I’ll try to be gentle,” he whispered slotting his lips back over his angel’s. 

Despite how badly he needed to be inside Cas right now, he took his time and waited until he was sure Cas was ready before sliding a third finger in and the angel reached down and wrapped a large hand around both of their cocks and started to stroke them slowly, squeezing them together as they both moaned at the feeling. What Cas lacked in experience he made up for in enthusiasm. Dean was very glad when he knew Cas was ready, because much more of this and he wouldn’t make it to the main event. He lifted the angel’s legs and lined his slick cock up with Cas’ entrance. “I’ve heard this hurts a little at first, but if you need me to stop just say so,” Dean said hesitantly and he just hoped he had the strength to stop if he needed to. 

Cas just nodded, beyond words by this point and Dean started sliding in slowly, panting in an effort to hold himself back from just plunging into the tight heat. Once he was fully seated he leaned down to kiss Cas again, giving him a chance to get used to it and to keep himself from blowing too soon. He’d never felt anything like this before and he was so close it almost hurt. When he felt like he could do so without ending this way too fast, he started slowly moving his hips as he experimented with different angles looking for the right one. 

When Cas gasped and threw his hips up to meet the hunter, he knew that he’d found it and they set a good rhythm from there. He knew that they were both essentially virgins as far as this went and doubted either of them would last very long so he reached down and started stroking Cas’ cock as he picked up speed and it seemed like no time at all before Cas’ moans turned to needy whimpers as his legs tightened around Dean and his hips started bucking frantically and as the angel let loose with cry, Dean felt the tightening around his cock and he was gone too. When they were completely spent, Dean pulled his now softening cock out of the angel and plopped on the grass next to him, pulling him close.

“I meant what I said, you know. I do love you,” Dean told him, wanting to make sure Cas knew it wasn’t just something said in the heat of the moment. 

“And I love you Dean. Always,” Cas said breathlessly, as he draped an arm over the hunter’s middle. 

It was a little while before anything else was said, but it was Cas who broke the silence, telling the hunter stories of what heaven used to be like, so long ago. What he could remember anyway. He talked about the betrayal he was feeling, knowing that everything he thought he knew was a lie. He talked about how lost and alone he felt and how he was glad that Dean was there to make him feel a little less alone. He apologized for everything he had done, thinking it was the right thing, which was promptly waved off by Dean. That was all behind them now. Cas had come out here to think, and he did. He was just talking it out as he did, and Dean didn’t interrupt him. He just let him talk, responding when necessary, but otherwise remaining silent as they lay naked in each other’s arms, hands moving absentmindedly over each other’s bodies.


	43. Chapter 43

It was almost dinnertime before Dean and Cas came back, both looking far more relaxed than they had when they left, and the other three shared knowing smiles. Gabriel decided to have dinner a little early since the only human in the house other than Sam had missed lunch, so he snapped his fingers and a large spread was on the table. As they sat down to eat, Gabriel said, “So we should probably talk about Cassie’s idea.”

“You can do that? Just make us pagans?” Sam asked. 

“No. ‘I’ can’t. Only the head of the clan, Odin in my case, can do so. I can get us an audience with him and we can ask. The question is, if he agrees, is that something that you want?” 

“Cas mentioned that it would do something to our souls…” Dean let the question hang. 

“It wouldn’t harm your souls at all. They would still be there. The pagan essence would just be winding through it making it unrecognizable on sight. It wouldn’t change anything about you, except to give you powers and immortality.”

“What kind of powers?” Sam asked. 

“You would be able to teleport, limited healing, unless you were a healing specialty then you would have more complete healing, limited abilities over time and dimensions, again unless you have the correct specialty, speed, strength, endurance, you wouldn’t need to eat or sleep anymore though you could if you wanted to. There would be more but it would depend on your classifications and specialties.”

“So do we choose those or are they chosen for us?” Sam asked.

“They aren’t really chosen at all. They are aspects of your personality that are brought forth by the process,” Gabriel explained. 

“What is the process?” Dean asked. 

“I can’t tell you,” Gabriel said apologetically. “It’s forbidden and telling you would get me excommunicated and then you would never even be considered. It’s one of those things you have to go into blind and is a closely guarded secret. Even I don’t know all of it. Only what I could see and experience and I can’t even tell you that much.”

“Are there risks?” Sam asked. “Can you tell us that?” 

“Not of death or permanent damage and if any temporary damage is done it can easily be healed,” Gabriel told them. 

“You mentioned some gods going crazy because of the loss of power and needing worship to get power or something like that. Is that something that could affect us?” Dean asked. 

“You wouldn’t have to worry about going crazy for the loss of power unless you suddenly become power hungry which, let’s face it, is in neither of your nature’s so that wouldn’t be a concern. Worship does give you more power, yes, but there are other ways to get power if you’re not comfortable with that. One easy way that you both already have is love. Sex can do the trick, but if there’s no love, it pales in comparison. That said, you will always have a minimum amount of power even if you didn’t have love, and given that you’re not in this for power, you’ll be okay. The worst that would happen if you hit rock bottom is you might feel the need to eat and sleep like a normal human.”

“But given that power is so scarce anyway, won’t Odin be less likely to agree to it?” Sam asked worriedly. 

“Yep. And that’s one of the problems that we’ll have to overcome. Convincing him to do it anyway. I happen to be very good at talking him into things and given that this will prevent the apocalypse which they are very much for, it should be doable. It won’t be easy though.” 

“But we won’t be in any danger from him though?” Dean asked. 

“Nah. He wouldn’t hurt you. Not badly anyway and only if you get mouthy, and if you’re that dumb I won’t lift a finger to help.” 

“Right. So no pissing off the old man. Got it,” Dean said. 

“And whatever you do, don’t lie to him. That’s the one thing he hates more than anything else. And I wouldn’t suggest calling him old man either,” Gabriel added with a chuckle. “Does that mean you want to do this?” 

“Just one more question,” Sam said. “Will this affect our bond in any way?” 

“Nope,” Gabriel said confidently. 

“Then I’m in,” Sam said firmly. 

“I never thought I’d say this, but yeah. I’m in too,” Dean agreed. 

“Alright I’ll go set it up. I’ll be right back,” Gabriel said disappearing. 

Gabriel returned about five minutes later. “He’ll see us in an hour,” he said. “Cas, as Dean’s mate you can come, but Anna you have to stay here.” They both nodded and Gabriel started rattling off instructions. “Make sure you follow my lead. When we go in to see him, stay a few steps behind me and take a knee when I do. He’ll tell me to rise first, you stay until he says you can get up. He won’t leave you waiting long, just long enough to make sure you’re willing to show him respect.” He saw Dean start to puff up at the idea and he glared at him. “He is a king and deserves the respect of that position and if he accepts our petition he will be your patriarch as well, so get used to it. He has no interest in having people grovel before him but the minimum of respect is expected.” 

“We got it Gabe,” Sam said tossing a look at his brother who sighed and nodded. 

“Also, remember to call me Loki. He knows who I really am, but none of the rest of the court do, and he gave me the name Loki when he took me in off the streets, so to speak, so calling me Gabriel in front of him would be disrespectful. It won’t be the end of the world if you slip, but try not to.” He looked around and got nods from the others. “Remember to look him in the eye when answering a direct question and I know I already said it, but for the love of god, don’t lie. Even if the truth makes you look bad. He has an insatiable curiosity so don’t take offense if he asks you a lot of questions. He won’t ask anything too personal in front of the court so if he does do so, it will just be him and us there. Try not to refuse to answer any questions, but if it’s something you really feel like you can’t bring yourself to answer, tell him so clearly. Don’t try to dance around it.” 

“You’re nervous,” Sam accused amusedly. 

“Well I am taking my bonded home to meet my father. I think it’s allowed,” Gabriel said with a chuckle. 

“Don’t worry, Gabe. We’ll be good. I promise,” Sam said kissing him gently. “Is there any other protocol we should know like the kneeling thing?” 

“Um…” Gabriel racked his brain. “If we have a meal there, make sure you stand until he’s seated and don’t start eating until he does. I’m pretty sure that’s it. If I missed something, I’ll make sure he knows it’s my fault and doesn’t hold it against you.”

“What will he do to you though?” Sam asked concerned. 

“I’m his son. Just a gentle admonishment to do better next time. Now who’s worrying,” Gabriel joked. “Protocol is basically about respect. As long as he knows that you’re not following it is from ignorance rather than lack of respect, it’ll be fine. It’s just my job to make sure you’re not ignorant of it, so don’t make me look bad,” he said with a nervous chuckle. 

Gabriel continued to be jittery right up until it was time to leave and he had the other rather jittery too in response. Not really the best way to go before the King of Asgard. 

Both of the hunters’ jaws dropped at the sight of the entry hall as their heads swiveled in every direction trying to take it all in. It was very opulent in an understated way. Like it wasn’t done to impress, but to be comfortable in a grandiose kind of way. It really was beautiful and if they hadn’t been so nervous they likely would have found it comfortable. Loki went to speak with the woman at the desk who go up and shuffled through the doors behind her. She returned a moment later and said, “Your father will see you now.”

“Thanks Mattie,” he said with a wink and she giggled. Sam rolled his eyes in amusement, stopping before the large double doors opened and he, Dean, and Cas walked side by side, a few steps behind Loki to the front of the large throne room, each of their steps echoing through the chamber. When Loki got to the front and took a knee they followed suit.

“Rise, my son,” Odin said cheerfully. “You come before me with two humans and an angel. I assume there is a reason for your visit?” 

“There is, father,” Loki said formally. 

“Your companions may rise and you may introduce us,” he said and the other three got to their feet, glad that Loki had been right in that they wouldn’t be expected to kneel long. 

“This is my bonded soulmate, Samuel, his brother, Dean, and Dean’s mate, Castiel,” Loki introduced them. 

“Welcome to Asgard, young ones,” he said warmly. “Now, Loki, why are you here?”


	44. Chapter 44

“We wish to ask you to take Samuel and Dean into the family,” Loki said seriously. 

“I assume you are asking for more than simply considering them family for their connection to you,” Odin said with a raised eyebrow. 

“I am, Father.”

“My children are already starved for power and you wish to add two more? Why should I grant your request?” he asked without hostility. 

“They are the vessels of the Judeo-Christian apocalypse. As long as they are human, they will be hunted and expected to fulfil their prophesied duties to bring about the end of days.”

“You do not wish to fulfil these duties?” Odin asked looking first at Sam. 

“No sir…um my liege…my lord…um…sir,” Sam stumbled over his words and resisted the urge to smack his snickering lover. 

“Sir is fine,” Odin said, showing more than a little amusement himself. “And you, Dean. You agree with this?” 

“I do, sir,” he said clearly, glad that Sam had gotten the address out of the way. It seemed there were some perks to being just the son-in-law’s brother instead of the son-in-law. 

“Surely there are other ways to avoid this fate,” Odin said returning his gaze to Loki. 

“No good ones,” Loki returned. “They are not the type to take well to seclusion in an alternate dimension. 

“So you wish to burden us with more gods when we can hardly support those we have now?” Odin asked pointedly. 

“They have no wish for power and so will take nothing from anyone else. I will take care of any training they require and make sure they do not abuse their powers. I will take full responsibility for them,” he assured his father. 

“Don’t forget to tell him we won’t pee on the rug,” Dean mumbled without thinking and got an elbow to the side from his brother and a glare from Loki before he even realized he had spoken out loud. 

“Are you aware that it is rude to speak when others are speaking?” Odin asked narrowing his eyes at the elder hunter. 

Dean knew he screwed up and the only way out of this was submission. True to his word, Loki wasn’t making any move to come to his defense. “Deepest apologies, sir. I’m not always very good at knowing when to keep my mouth shut.”

Odin seemed to calm at the sincere and unhesitant apology. “Knowing our faults is the first step to correcting them. See that it doesn’t happen again.”

“Yes sir,” Dean said relieved that he wasn’t in bigger trouble. 

That relief came too soon though because Odin then said, “Now repeat yourself louder so that I can hear what was so important that it needed to be said at that moment.” 

Dean’s eyes widened and he gulped. He well remembered Loki’s advice not to ever lie to Odin so he had no choice but to say, “I said…um…don’t forget to tell him we won’t pee on the rug.” He winced as he said and he saw Loki out of the corner of his eye pinch the bridge of his nose in exasperation. 

“I assume that was meant as a joke?” Odin asked, hoping these humans weren’t that uncivilized that something like that needed to be stated. 

“It was, sir. I’m sorry,” Dean said, beet red now. 

“Explain the joke,” Odin said tilting his head to the side curiously. 

Dean looked up at him and it took a moment before it registered what he’d said and Dean really hoped he wasn’t going to get himself in more trouble with this. “Well when human children beg their parents for a new pet they say things like ‘they won’t eat much’ and ‘I’ll take good care of them’ and ‘they won’t pee on the rug’” he said with another wince. 

There was a beat of silence before Odin laughed merrily, followed by the rest of the court and all four of them breathed a sigh of relief, Loki and Dean especially. “I like him. He has a good sense of humor,” Odin told Loki. 

“I thought you would, Father.”

“He simply needs to learn the appropriate time for such things,” Odin added. 

“Yes. He does,” he turned to look at Dean who gave him an apologetic look. 

With that Odin got back to business. “Samuel. Loki tells me you do not wish for power. Is that true?” 

“Yes, sir,” he said before adding in an effort to be completely honest, “The added power would come in handy to better help and protect people in our jobs, but it isn’t necessary, and that’s not why we are here asking for this gift.”

“And what jobs are these that you help and protect people?” Odin asked curiously. 

“We are, what the humans call, hunters. Most humans, as I’m sure you know, don’t believe in things like vampires and werewolves, and ghosts and other things that kill them. We travel around and hunt these things to protect them.”

“And have you ever encountered any beings that do not harm humans?” Odin asked. 

“We have, sir. We once encountered a nest of vampires that only fed from livestock,” Sam said honestly. 

“And what did you do with these vampires?” 

“There was a bit of a misunderstanding. We didn’t realize at the time that there were such beings that didn’t harm humans and we did kill one of them, but when we found out that they didn’t kill people we let them go and told them that as long as they didn’t hurt anyone we wouldn’t come after them.”

“And did you apologize for this misunderstanding?” Odin asked, trying to get their measure. 

“Not in so many words, sir, though the apology was implied, as was theirs for kidnapping and torturing me in response,” Sam told him. 

“I see,” Odin said thoughtfully and turned to Dean. “Do you have anything to add?” 

“Only that there was another hunter there for that incident who refused to let them go, so I tied him up to give the vampires a head start.”

“And if I were to grant your request and you found another god harming humans, what would be your response?” he asked. 

“The same as it would be for any other being harming humans,” Dean said honestly. 

“And if I said that the correct procedure would be to bring the issue to my attention so that I could resolve it?” Odin asked. 

Dean struggled a bit with the question, but told the truth anyway, “I would respect that as long as I could be assured that it would be handled in such a way that would prevent any more humans from being harmed in the future.” He knew it probably wasn’t the perfect answer, but it was the best he could do.

Odin was pleased at the answer though. He didn’t ask for blind obedience. He lived by the rule of do right by your people and they will do right by you, and he would have expected nothing less from people who dedicated their lives to helping people. “So this job you do, what type of rewards does it offer?”

“It’s not something we get paid for if that’s what you mean. Sometimes we will get thanks from someone we save, but more often they are just as afraid of us as the monster that attacked them. The rewards it offers are just the knowledge that we made a difference and made the world just a little bit safer.”

“I understand that humans require some type of currency to live and eat,” Odin said questioningly, turning back to Sam for this answer. 

The hunter winced, knowing this wouldn’t make them look good. “We lie and steal to get the money we need to live, but barely more than necessary.”

“Barely?” Odin noticed that distinction.

“Occasionally we will use some money to have fun, like go to a sporting event, and we do spend some on things like alcohol,” Sam admitted. 

Odin nodded as he considered what he had learned. There was silence for quite a while, but before anyone could get too fidgety, the god king spoke again. “I am inclined to grant my son’s request. Does anyone have any objections?” he asked the court. Rarely did anyone object to his rulings and this time was no different. Any concerns that they could raise would be addressed soon anyway. “Very well. It is settled. Should you pass the trials, you will join us as gods.”

Sam and Dean looked at each other alarmed before turning to look at Loki who gave them encouraging smiles. He was sure they would do just fine. Odin waved his hand and two chairs appeared in the hall and Loki sat in one and motioned for Cas to sit in the other. “Let the trials begin!” Odin announced and loud gong sounded through the room.


	45. Chapter 45

“Samuel. Dean. You will each go through a door on the other side of the room, brave the gauntlet and bring me the cup of power that is on a pedestal at the back,” Odin told them and they looked at each other and nodded. They could do that. They each picked a side and went through the door which closed behind them and they were left in complete darkness for a moment before the torches lit the room in a dim light. As the torches lit, two projections appeared in the main hall for those present to watch their attempts. 

Sam was inspecting the gauntlet when he heard the rattle of chains to the right and slightly behind him. He spun around in a defensive stance and then gasped at the sight that met his eyes. There was a young boy, maybe six years old chained to the wall, bloodied and beaten, wearing nothing but a worn pair of shorts and Sam could see his ribs. He knew that Loki thought the world of Odin, but he was beginning to think that he may be wrong if this is what could be found in his castle. He completely ignored the gauntlet and went to the boy. “Hey there. My name’s Sam. What’s yours?” he asked as he inspected the cuffs that held him. 

“Bran,” the boy said in a small voice. 

“Well, Bran, I’m gonna get you out of here okay?” Sam told him softly. The boy just nodded fearfully. “It looks like these cuffs need a key. You don’t happen to know where the key is do you?” If he didn’t Sam would try to pick the lock, but he was pretty sure that any lock made by gods would be pick-proof. 

“It’s in the cup. You have to break the cup to get it,” the boy said sadly. 

“Okay. That’s okay. I can do that,” Sam said. 

“But that’s the cup of power,” the boy protested softly. 

“I don’t care. It’s not worth your life,” Sam said seriously looking the boy in the eye as he said it. He knew getting the kid out of here past all the guards would be difficult, but he knew that Loki would help if he got a look at what was going on here. He pulled a power bar out of his pocket, never going anywhere without some, and handed it to him. “You eat that, while I work on getting that key, okay Bran?” 

The kid nodded already eating and Sam went back over to the gauntlet. It looked like something straight out of Indiana Jones. He had axes swinging at his head, shots of fire, blades shooting at him from all sides, crumbling floors leading to a dark hole and even a tightrope over a snake pit, but he made it to the back and grabbed the cup, just barely managing to roll off the pedestal before it collapsed and then made his way back out the same way he came in. He got back to the boy and threw the cup hard to the ground and it shattered and he pulled the key out of the shards and freed the boy, picking him up and heading back out the door, ready to fight his way out if necessary. 

 

Meanwhile, Dean was met with the same sight in his room and he too rushed over to the kid and started fiddling with the cuffs. When the kid looked at him scared he said, “It’s okay kid. I’m gonna get you out of here. Don’t worry.” When he saw the place for the key, he pulled out his lockpick set and went to work. It was a little while before he gave it up as a lost cause and he huffed. He wasn’t gonna give up that easily. He started looking around for something he could use to break the chains as he asked rather hopelessly, “Don’t suppose you know where the key is, kid?” 

“It’s inside the cup. You have to break the cup to get it out,” he said fearfully. 

“Gotcha,” Dean said immediately running over to the gauntlet and his run went much like Sam’s though he did get singed a bit in his impatience and when he got back to the boy, he looked up at him with wide eyes. 

“You can’t break the cup of power,” the kid said as though that would be the worst possible thing that could happen. 

“Watch me,” Dean said throwing it to the floor and freeing the kid, picking him up and heading for the door.

Sam and Dean both stumbled through the door at the same time, finding their arms suddenly empty and the whole room began to applaud, Loki and Cas looking at their respective lovers with pride. “What’s going on?” Dean asked annoyed, not really caring if he was being disrespectful at the moment. 

“What’s going on, is that you passed. With flying colors. Neither of you hesitated to give up power and immortality to save the child, not to mention showed great skill in navigating the gauntlet. Let me ask you, Samuel. You know that you could save far more people as a god than as a human, yet you were willing to give that up to save one child. Why?” Odin asked. 

“Because all the hypothetical people in the future wouldn’t matter one bit if I let that child die here and now. Everything I did from here on out would be tainted. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

“Dean, same question.”

“What he said. I would never accept anything that the death of a child made possible.”

“Samuel, you comforted the child and gave him food and immediately asked him where to find the key, why?” Odin asked. 

Sam, far more relaxed now that he knew no one was in danger and had come down from the adrenaline high answered freely. “I could tell he was scared and hungry. That was just as important as getting him free.”

“Dean, you interacted with the child far less, and only asked for help when your other methods failed. Why?” 

“I was more interested in getting him free than anything else. I figured the rest could be fixed later. Probably by Sam. I’m not the best with kids,” he said with a sheepish shrug and Odin chuckled. 

“Yes. I could see that. Not everyone has those sorts of skills, but obviously it doesn’t mean you care any less,” Odin said understandingly. 

“Does anyone have any questions before we move on to the second trial?” Odin asked. 

“So the kids weren’t real then?” Dean asked just to be sure. 

“They were simple illusions. No children were ever harmed in any way,” Odin assured him. He waited for a few minutes to make sure no one else had any questions before saying, “Very well. Meet us at the end of the hall through that door and we will commence with the next trial,” he said as he, the court, and Loki and Cas disappeared leaving an empty room. 

“Would it have killed him to give us a lift too?” Dean grumbled. 

Sam just rolled his eyes. He wondered if they were going to be surprised with a trial behind that door. They walked through and Sam caught movement out of the corner of his eye and he ducked and looked up just in time to see Dean’s head separated from his body by a blade that had come out of the wall. “Dean!” Sam yelled brokenly as he fell to his knees by his brother’s side. “No. Come on. Not like this.” In the face of his fear and grief he didn’t remember Loki’s assurance that they wouldn’t be killed or permanently harmed. All he could think was that his brother was lying dead on the floor next to him as the pool of blood spread from his neck. 

Sam saw the next blade coming from about halfway down from the last one and he plastered himself to the floor. He knew he had to move, but he couldn’t leave his brother’s body there like that so once the blade retracted he grabbed his brother, scooping up his head on the way and started running down the hall, dodging as many obstacles as he could and shielding his brother’s body with his own when he couldn’t. By the time he got to the end he had more than a few cuts and bruises and one long burn down his right arm, but he burst through the door at the end holding…nothing. Another trick then. He willed his heartbeat to slow down as he tried not to make a fool of himself in front of the entire court of Asgard…and his father in law. 

Dean burst out another door at the same time, looking just as harried and grief stricken as he did and they looked at each other and grabbed each other in crushing hugs. “Interesting,” a voice cut through their relief. The looked up at Odin. “When facing your greatest fears, it seems each of you most fear losing the other.” Odin motioned for their lovers to go to them and neither of them hesitating, each taking a hunter in their arms and pulling them over where two loveseats now rested. Those undergoing these trials often needed the support after that one. He gave them some time to collect themselves and let their lovers fuss over them before he started to question them. “Samuel. You are bonded to my son, yet you fear losing your brother more than losing him.”

“I can’t lose him,” Sam said with a shrug. “If he dies then so do I and then we still get to be together in the afterlife.”

Odin nodded. He knew that of course, but fear was an irrational thing. To hear that his fears had taken rational thought meant that the boy had a great deal of experience with fear. He knew the other brother hadn’t yet completed his bond so it would be different for him. “Dean, same question. Why your brother instead of your bonded?” 

“I watched Sam die once. He died in my arms. It almost broke me. I couldn’t do it again.”

“And yet he is here alive?” Odin asked curiously. 

“I…sold my soul to a demon to bring him back,” Dean said without a trace of guilt. 

“I see. That explains the scarring on your soul. Spending time in hell leaves a lasting mark. Do you regret your decision now, having experienced that?” 

“If I had known that he already had Loki and that he would bring him back I wouldn’t have, but since I didn’t know that, I would have made the same choice again. Every time.”

Odin didn’t doubt that a bit, even if he couldn’t see that the hunter was being truthful. “Matilda!” Odin called and the woman from the entrance shuffled in. “Show my son and his companions to the gold suite. We will give them some time to rest and then have a feast before the final trial,” Odin announced. “Someone will fetch you when it is time for the feast.”


	46. Chapter 46

Once the four of them were alone in the suite, each of the brother’s collapsed in their lover’s arms. “God, Lo. I don’t think I can do another one of these,” Sam said brokenly. 

“What he said,” Dean chimed in, hiding his feelings a little better than Sam who wasn’t really trying to hide them at all as the tears streamed down his face. 

“It’s okay, Samshine. You’re doing great,” Loki said pulling him so that he was lying on the couch with his head in Loki’s lap as he ran his fingers through the hunter’s hair. “The last one isn’t so bad,” he assured him. 

“Don’t suppose you can tell us what it is?” Dean grumbled, reluctantly letting Cas do the same for him. He wasn’t as good at accepting comfort, but Cas was trying and he didn’t want to push him away. 

“Sorry, bucko. No can do, but don’t worry,” he said cheerfully hoping that would put them more at ease. 

“Easy for you to say,” Dean grumbled, but let it go at that. It had been a very long day and both hunters were soon asleep. 

Loki smiled fondly down at Sam. He knew that he was going through a lot, but it would be worth it in the end. They would all be free and happy. Cas broke the silence as he whispered, “The last trial is truly easier?” 

“I don’t know about easier per se, but not as emotional,” Loki told him and left it at that. 

When Mattie came and got them for dinner, they gently roused the hunters and headed down. Loki took the seat to the right of the head of the table and positioned them so that Sam was on his right, followed by Dean and then Cas. When Dean started to sit, Sam elbowed him in time and he jumped back to his feet. In all the turmoil he had forgotten the rules. Dinner passed with a great deal of small talk, mostly with the newcomers. Now that they were so close to becoming a part of the family, everyone wanted to get to know them better and it was far more informal than the meetings in the throne room and they all managed to relax and have a good time, even though Sam and Dean could still feel the axe of the third trial looming over them. 

The meal and conversation lasted two hours before Odin stood, followed quickly by everyone else, and said, “Let us adjourn to the throne room and get the final trial underway.” Odin led the procession followed by Loki and Sam and then Dean and Cas and the rest of the court followed single file behind them. Odin waited until everyone was seated before he spoke. “The third trial is very simple. You will each go through one of these two doors, behind which you will find two trunks. You will simply bring me the one you feel is most valuable.”

Sam and Dean waited a moment to see if there was a catch they would get explained, but when none came they just shrugged and went through the doors, on their guard for any surprises. The only one they encountered was the fact that it actually was that straightforward. There were no traps or tricks that they could see. 

Dean walked over to the trunks and opened the first one which was rather ornate with a gold clasp and jewels embedded in it and was gleaming. Inside the trunk were piles of gold and jewels and he smiled and ran his hand through them for a moment wondering if they were real before he turned to the other trunk which looked a little battered and dusty. When he opened it he found books. Very old books that he had never seen before. He picked one up and flipped through it finding that it really was as old as it looked. It must have been one of the first books ever made and was even handwritten. Riches he could take or leave, but he knew that Sam would be salivating over these books, so he picked up the trunk and left the room. 

Back in the court, Dean’s projection went blank meaning that he had completed the task and was waiting to exit, but the doors were enchanted so they could only come out at the same time and they continued watching Sam as he flipped through the books slowly and lovingly with rapt attention and he didn’t seem to remember what he was there for since he didn’t seem to be making a choice, not that his choice wasn’t clear. After a while, Loki spoke up, “If I may, Father?” he asked and Odin motioned for him to continue. “Perhaps a loud noise to bring him back on track?” 

Odin nodded and a gong sounded in Sam’s room and the hunter jumped and looked around wide-eyed before seeming to remember where he was and why and he replaced the book in the chest and cradled it to his chest as he left the room and he and Dean both came back through the doors in the main hall and Sam looked almost as dismayed to find his arms empty as he had at the end of the other two trials prompting a laugh from Odin. “Do not worry, Samuel. All the books in the chest are part of my library here that you will be free to access after the ceremony.” 

“So we passed?” Dean asked hopefully. 

Sam took that to mean that Dean chose the books too. If he’d had to guess he wouldn’t have been sure which his brother would have chosen. While Dean wasn’t exactly averse to books he didn’t love them the way Sam did, but he had little use for gold and jewels. It seemed that Dean had chosen correctly though because Odin just said proudly, “You both passed. Well done. Rarely have I seen the trials go so well. You have proven your strength of character, strength of heart, and strength of mind, and I would be honored to have you both as part of my house.”

“Thank you sir,” Sam said feeling proud of himself and if the look on Loki’s face was anything to go by he was just as proud. 

“We will take a short recess while the ceremony is prepared. The court is dismissed,” he said and the court filed out of the room and two more chairs appeared on the floor in front of Odin and the god gestured for the hunters to take a seat as well. 

“You know, Sammykins. We were starting to wonder if we were gonna have to sit here and watch you read all day,” Loki joked and everyone laughed. 

“I might have if that gong hadn’t gone off,” Sam shrugged sheepishly. “Your idea?” he guessed. 

“I suggested making a noise. He chose what kind,” Loki said. 

“I thought it fitting,” Odin said with a chuckle. 

“Well it worked. I just got so entranced with the books that I forgot what I was doing.” 

“That’s why I picked the books,” Dean said. “I don’t have much use for riches, but I knew you would drool all over the books.” 

“So your item of value was less the books and more your brother’s happiness?” Odin asked. 

“Yeah, I guess,” Dean said with a shrug. “That doesn’t count against me does it?” 

“Not at all. Though knowledge is a noble and valuable pursuit, the happiness of a loved one is just as much so.” 

“May I ask a question?” Sam asked. 

“I believe you just did,” Odin joked. 

“Oh come on, Dad. That one was old when you were born,” Loki rolled his eyes. 

“You need not ask permission when we’re are speaking informally like this. Only when court is in session. Ask your questions, Samuel.”

“Well, Loki said something about classifications and specialties and that they would be based on our character and personalities. Is that something learned through the trials or something that just happens?” 

“We can usually get a good read on such things during the trials, but it’s impossible to say for certain until the ceremony is complete and your powers develop. Would you like to know my thoughts on the matter?” Odin asked. 

“I would, yes,” Sam said. 

“Me too,” Dean chimed in, mentally thanking his brother for asking. 

“I would place you both as protectors with Samuel specializing in nurture and Dean specializing in battle,” Odin guessed. “Your thoughts Loki?”

“I agree, but then I would have pegged them as that long before the trials,” he said. 

“Is there anything we should know about the ceremony before it starts?” Sam asked. 

Loki fielded that one, being better attuned to what they should be warned of in advance. “You will have to drink some of Odin’s blood,” he said looking mostly at Sam, knowing of his aversion to the subject after the whole demon blood talk. 

“But it’s safe?” he asked nervously. 

“Perfectly. That’s what allows the powers to bind in you. It’s not like demon blood. Don’t worry,” Loki assured him. 

“Okay,” Sam said hesitantly. 

“My son is correct. There is nothing addictive or destructive in the blood of gods as there is with demonic blood. You should also be aware that you will be given new names to go with your new stature.”

“Do we get to choose the names?” Dean asked hopefully. If so, he had a few ideas. 

“You did not get to choose your birth names. Your parents did, as I will choose your names for your rebirth,” Odin said. 

“Have you already chosen? Will you tell us now or do we have to wait for the ceremony?” Sam asked. 

“It is customary to find out at the ceremony,” Odin said. Because they were already so close to his son and they passed the trials with such excellent results, if they insisted to know before-hand he would tell them, but he still preferred to go with tradition. They both seemed to accept that answer though since they didn’t ask again. “You should also know that you must be silent during the ceremony except when I ask you to accept your place in my house.”


	47. Chapter 47

There was a knock at the back door behind the throne before a man stuck his head in. “The ceremony is prepared, my lord.”

Odin slapped his knees as he stood. “Well, shall we?” he asked waiting for nods from the hunters before turning to go through the door. 

“You’re not coming?” Sam asked as he saw Loki and Cas remain sitting, the latter on a signal from the former. 

“Nope. This is between the three of you,” Loki told him, and motioned him to go on. 

Both hunters were reminded of the first trial when the room was lit dimly by torches, but other than that, it was far different. It was a large open space with a rune on the floor that Sam recognized as Othalan for inheritance. It was surrounded by many smaller runes only some of which Sam recognized. He could make out Dagaz for hope and happiness, Ehwaz for trust and companionship, Sowilo for success, Eihwaz for strength and stability, Wunjo for joy, Gebo for generosity, Ansuz for prosperity, and Uruz for strength of will. The rest he had never seen before and assumed that they had been lost to time. 

“If you are done studying the runes, we can begin?” Odin said amusedly. 

“Right. Sorry,” Sam said sheepishly as he moved to where Odin was motioning them to stand in the diamond center of Othalan. 

Odin raised a large chalice and began chanting in a language Sam could only assume was old Norse and he made a mental note to learn that sooner rather than later, especially since they were about to become Norse gods. The chant seemed to go on forever, and Dean was just starting to get bored when lightning started flashing within the chamber, jumping from rune to rune as they lit up with a bright golden glow before jumping from all of the runes simultaneously to the center one that they were in and both hunter’s jumped a bit at that. It wasn’t long after that before Odin lowered the chalice and picked up a dagger, drawing a line across his arm and letting some blood fall into it. 

He stepped down from the raised dias and stepped over the lit smaller runed and walked through the opening in the bottom of the center one, stopping just shy of the enclosed diamond. Dean, your greatest gift is your strength. You shall henceforth be known as Styrk. Do you accept your name and your place in my house?” 

“I do,” Dean said trying to keep the nerves out of his voice. This was it. There was no going back now. 

“Then drink, Styrk, and take your place as my son,” Odin said as he pressed the chalice to Dean’s lips and the hunter refused to think about what it was that he was drinking as he did so. 

“Samuel, your greatest gift is your heart. You shall henceforth be known as Hjert. Do you accept your name and your place in my house?”

“I do,” Sam said, voice shaking. 

“Then drink, Hjert, and take your place as my son,” Odin placed the chalice against Sam’s lips and to his credit he only hesitated a moment before he too drank what he needed to. 

Odin turned and went back to the dias and raised the chalice once more and began to chant again. This one was much shorter, and soon after he began he stopped and there was a blinding flash of light and when it faded the runes were no longer lit, not that either hunter saw it, lying unconscious in the center. Odin smiled proudly and waved a hand and they both disappeared. 

Loki was lying in his bed, waiting for Sam to arrive. He would be out for a good twelve hours after the ceremony and the god/archangel relished in what may be his last chance to watch his hunter sleep. 

When Sam woke up the next morning, he found Loki mostly dressed in a gleaming golden set of what looked like armor. “Up and at em lazybones. You don’t want to be late for your introduction after all,” he said cheerfully. 

“My what?” Sam asked wiping the sleep from his eyes. 

“Your introduction? To the kingdom? As a god of the house of Odin? Come on. Your armor’s all ready for you,” Loki said nearly bouncing with energy. 

“I have to be…introduced? To the whole kingdom? In armor?” Sam asked wide-eyed. He wasn’t really a big fan of attention. 

“Of course! How else is everyone going to know who you are?” Loki knew that Sam didn’t like attention and would be very nervous about all this so he set out to be as annoyingly cheerful as possible to keep his mind off of it. 

“I’m guessing I don’t have a choice?” Sam groaned as he pulled himself out of bed. 

“Nope,” Loki chirped. “Here, let me help you,” he offered knowing that the hunter had no idea how to put on armor. “This goes on first. Then this, then this,” he arranged it for him. “If we were actually going into battle there would be a few more layers, but this is just for dress so we leave those off.” As Sam was getting dressed, with more than a little help from Loki, the pagan archangel asked, “Hey, by the way, what’s your new name?” 

“Hjert,” Sam said stumbling a bit over the pronunciation.

“Heart. I like it. It fits,” he said pressing a kiss to the new god’s lips as he helped him fasten the breastplate. 

Sam found that he couldn’t help but get infected with his lover’s exuberance as he grinned at learning the translation of his name. He would still be going by Sam most of the time and he didn’t know if he would ever start thinking of himself as Hjert, but here in Asgard, he would be going by that name so at least it was one he liked. 

Once Sam was dressed, they met Dean and Cas in the common area, them having the other bedroom in the suite. Sam was impressed at how nice his disgruntled brother looked in his emerald green armor and he hoped he looked as impressive in his warm brown set. “Styrk,” he greeted him with a nod. 

“Hjert,” Dean did the same. It felt weird, but they would get used to it. 

They headed downstairs into a flurry of activity and were ushered by a flustered Mattie into a large open room with a balcony where Odin was waiting for them. “Ah, good. You’re here. You boys ready?” Both Sam and Dean gave nervous nods as Odin stepped out onto the balcony, made a little speech and then motioned them forward, introducing them to the people of Asgard assembled below. Sam stood to Odin’s left with Loki behind and to his left, and Dean was on Odin’s right with Cas behind and to his right. Loki and Cas were only here as escorts so received no attention this time. Loki remembered his own introduction where he had stood alone and knew how nerve-wracking it could be, even for him, so he was glad he could be here for Sam. 

The feast following the introduction put the previous one to shame. There were close to a thousand people there, spread across multiple tables and it seemed they all wanted their chance to greet Styrk and Hjert. When Sam and Loki had a rare free moment, Sam said, “Please tell me this isn’t going to be a regular thing?” 

“Don’t worry, Samsquatch. It’s a one-time thing and it’s almost over,” Loki assured him. 

“Thank god,” he breathed out and was quickly cornered by yet another well-wisher when Loki spotted someone standing over by the back wall. 

Loki signaled Sam where he was going and walked over. “Thor. Nice of you to come,” Loki said genially. 

“It’s been a long time since an induction and I doubt there will be another for even longer. Not to mention it’s your bonded being inducted? I wouldn’t miss it for the world little brother.”

“Well once he manages to extricate himself from the masses, I’ll introduce you,” Loki said pulling Thor into a hug. Thor was everything a brother should be. Their fights were legendary, but when all was said and done they were just as close as any brothers could be. Well except maybe Sam and Dean. Those two were in a whole different category. A category that bordered on creepy. 

When Sam managed to make it over and was introduced to Thor he barely managed not to make a fool of himself. Thor was pretty much the most famous god there was and Sam was a big fan. Thor welcomed him warmly to the family, and they chatted for a while before Sam noticed Dean and waved him and Cas over. Dean had no qualms with leading with, “You’re Thor? Dude, I’m a huge fan.” They all laughed and Thor pretended to preen and Loki smacked him on the back of the head. The fact that four princes were gathered in one group had most people too nervous to approach them which worked out well for the exhausted newest members of the family and it was close enough to the end of the event that it wasn’t rude for them to stay that way for the remainder. 

As the guests were filing out, Odin came over to the group and greeted Thor with a hug, not having had a chance to so before and then turned to the others in the group. “Will you be staying for a bit while they get a handle on their new powers?” he asked. 

“I’m not sure,” Loki answered. “We haven’t really had a chance to discuss it.”

“Well you know you’re welcome anytime. If you need any help just let me know. I am going to retire now. I will see you all tomorrow.”

“Goodnight,” five voices chorused. “What do you say we get out of this stuffy armor and go play some games?” Thor suggested. 

“You are a genius brother dear,” Loki said happily. “Meet you in the gardens in thirty minutes?” 

“Absolutely,” Thor said as they all rushed off to change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this one was an adventure. Far longer than my previous longest story, but if I don't end it here then it will never end. I'll probably come back and do a sequel at some point, but I have some other projects I want to work on first. Thanks for sticking with me through this wild ride.


End file.
